Scorn poured on Talking Jesus doll

WHAT is it with Christians and their predilection for forking out hard cash for tacky religious crap?

We now learn from Robert Paul Reyes, writing in The American Chronicle, that Wal-Mart in Virginia (and no doubt elsewhere) have stocked up with a 12-inch Jesus Doll that speaks.

talkingjesus.jpgCould this be the same product, pictured here, that is being flogged on-line for $19.99 by Blessed The company describes this horrendously trashy piece of kitsch thus:

A long time ago, God sent His only Son, Jesus, from heaven to Earth. He was born to a woman named Mary and a man named Joseph. His earthly parents raised Jesus until He became a man. Then, He left them to travel all around the land. He helped lots of people by teaching them, healing them and performing many miracles! (New Testament Gospels). Now children can learn more about Jesus’ incredible Tale of Glory while they play! Jesus narrates his own biography, and also quotes key memory verses from the Bible, including Mark 12:30, Mark 12:31 and John 3:16. Our unique start/stop function allows children to pause and restart the story at any point.

The Talking Jesus doll is accompanied by a “colorful mini-storybook”. The entire package is designed for children aged 3 and upwards
Comments Reyes:

Too many evangelical Christians don’t know the real Jesus Christ with the dirty sandals and clean heart, who healed the sick and helped the poor. They worship a tyrant who isn’t interested in ministering to the disenfranchised, but in condemning anyone who doesn’t conform to their myopic religious vision.

He points out that in 1980 televangelist Oral Roberts claimed to have seen a vision of Jesus. “Did he see a compassionate Man reaching out to social outcasts, and embracing children who responded to his message of love and hope? No! Oral claimed to have seen a 900-foot Jesus – how appropriate! The Jesus that the fundamentalists worship is one scary dude. Oral’s vision would make a great horror flick: The Attack of the 900-foot Jesus!

Christians have twisted Jesus into an image that evokes horror, and now they have reduced him to an object of ridicule.

These Jesus dolls aren’t manufactured and marketed by an evil company with a hidden agenda to mock Christian values; they are the product of a Christian company.

Christians are their own worst enemies; they are making Jesus a laughingstock. Don’t these fools know that one of the 10 Commandments prohibits them from making “graven images”? I’ve seen kids play with dolls and action figures; they make their dolls do everything from swimming in the toilet bowl to attacking the family dog. Those Jesus dolls will go through more abuse than the real Jesus suffered at the hands of the Romans.

The Rev. Larry Davies, executive pastor of Timberlake United Methodist Church, said that he would like to see every single one sell.

I hope every child in America gets one. If Wal-Mart will help us witness the Gospel, more power to them.

Quote from NewsAdvance.Com

Not to but too fine a point on it, but Rev. Larry Davies is an idiot. What the heck does a kitschy Jesus doll have to do with the Gospel of Jesus Christ? I’m a freethinker who isn’t comfortable with the prospect of little brats using their Jesus dolls to do bash each over the head with. The Jesus doll is one of those awful ideas, like spray-on hair for the follically-challenged, that should die a quick death.

If you have stumbled across a particularly tacky religious item, do let us know via our comments section, and we will lampoon it mercilessly. The product judged as being in the Worst Possible Taste will earn its identifier a year’s free subscription to the Freethinker. Entries close on December 31, 2007.

Update (October 16, 2007): The Talking Jesus doll is to make its debut in the UK. See the Guardian report here.

11 responses to “Scorn poured on Talking Jesus doll”

  1. Check out these boxing nuns:
    a very popular item, apparently. Well, we all know nuns can have a violent temper.

  2. Andy Armitage says:

    The “boxing nuns” thing the Heresiarch points us to above is particularly apt considering the story of last week. Wish I’d had that picture when I wrote that!

  3. Wolf says:

    Over me ‘ead, son (of God). Hilarious.

  4. Here’s a very fetching pink Jesus. Should go down well with Ratzinger.

    Entries close DECEMBER 31st???

    We can’t possibly keep this going all year.

  5. SilverTiger says:

    Different cultures have different levels of tolerance for applying religious terms and symbols to everyday life. For example, until recently, “My God!” as a general exclamation was frowned upon in England whereas in France “Mon Dieu!” was so common that most language text books translated as “Good heavens!”.

    Whereas no one in Britain would ever name their child “Jesus”, it is quite common to do so in Spain.

    I think British Christians would find dolls of Jesus, especially the less serious ones, in bad taste but Americans seem OK with them.

    How about riposting with a doll of Bertrand Russell explaining “Why I am not a Christian”? Or better still, one of Richard Dawkins with juicy quotes from The God Delusion?

  6. So I’m driving home and a big truck pulls out of a lay by, and I read on the side of it “Jesus Mart” Oh No, I think, it can’t be. As the truck continues to pull out, the full name is “Jesus Martinez Ruiz” a Spanis transport company.

  7. Marie says:

    “God’s Girlz” – a knock-off of “Bratz”. See here: