The Vatican is pissed off over Papal fashion reports

REPORTS, with accompanying photos, that suggest that Herr Ratzinger is a fashion queen have got up the Vatican’s nose, big time.

No, they huffily say, those camp red pumps are not Prada, and the silly Santa hat is actually a relic that dates back to the Middle Ages.

Rather like the Pope himself.

The Vatican grew so tired of reports that Benedict XVI was a prancing fashionista that they felt impelled to issue a statement this week to put the reactionary old goat’s sartorial preferences in context.

Three years ago, around Christmas, he showed up for his weekly public audience in St Peter’s Square wearing a fur-trimmed red stocking cap that made him look like a sinister Santa sans beard.

The Vatican explained that this was a “camauro,” which dates back to the Middle Ages and figures in many papal portraits.

And, according to Yahoo, the Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano made it clear that those bright red loafers are not designed by the Milanese fashion house, Prada, as has long been rumoured.

Such rumours are inconsistent with the simple and sombre man who, on the day of his election to the papacy, showed to the faithful gathered in St Peter’s Square and to the whole world the sleeves of a modest black sweater.

L’Osservatore Romano said the Pope’s tastes in clothes has nothing to do with fashion and everything to do with liturgy, and what symbolism traditional garments can bring to the Christian liturgy.

So he won’t ever be wearing a condom, then?

Said the paper:

The Pope, therefore, does not wear Prada, but Christ.

Make of that what you will.