News

God moves money in mysterious ways

EXPERTS in South Arica are claiming that a genuine miracle took place at a massive evangelical rally staged by American “prosperity” preacher Benny Hinn, who is touring the country with his “Miracle Crusade”.

Would you buy a blessing from this man? Benny Hinn, complete with dodgy hairdo, has an uncanny talent for separating fools from the money

Would you buy a blessing from this man? Benny Hinn, complete with distinctly dodgy hairdo, has an uncanny talent for separating fools from their money

The genuine, verifiable event – attributed to “the power of the Almighty” – occurred when thousands of pounds miraculously left the bank accounts of around 1,000 of devout Christians, and within minutes inexplicably surfaced in Hinn’s sizeable off-shore bank accounts.

It happened when Todd Koontz, a guest speaker at the “Miracle Crusade” told the 18,000 believers at the Coca Cola Dome near Johannesburg that God had created a “two minute” window of opportunity, during which time the Almighty would make hundreds into millionaires, or even billionaires.

All they had to do to receive the “exceptional blessing” was hand over a sizeable donation to God, aka Hinn.

$1,000 dollars (£500) to be precise.

Why are we not surprised that a stampede ensued?

According to this report, Koontz really had the congregation scrambling when he said:

This blessing will be poured out for only two minutes.

Pastor Tommie Ferreira, of the AGS Church in Johannesburg, was so incensed about the “blessing” that, after a week, he demanded to know who of the donors had actually become millionaires. He is apparently yet to find the answer.

Everyone had to donate $1,000 because an exceptional blessing rested on $1,000. People stormed to the front – poor people, rich people, people from all sections of our society.

Poor people? For pity’s sake, how poor could they have been to afford £500 for a “blessing”?

Hinn’s side-kicks at the event had credit-card machines at the ready in order take donations.

He (Koontz) said God would bless the people’s credit cards and they would be able to rule over South Africa with their money. Eventually there were no fewer than 1,000 people who made such donations.

Another South African pastor, Dr Sarel Smit was equally worried about the method by which Hinn collected donations.

Especially at a time like this when there is dire need, people run the risk of losing their faith in the Lord [if he fails to deliver]. God will provide for your needs, but not your greed.

7 responses to “God moves money in mysterious ways”

  1. Roger says:

    Never mind how poor or not these people are – how STUPID are they ?? I can barely find the words (and I’m normally quite loquacious) to describe this monumental, massive, mind-boggling moronity (I’m beginning to sound like the compere on “The Good Old Days”).

    You know, a small part of me actually wishes that this Benny Hinn
    guy (looks like a typo of Benny Hill, appropriately) is an Atheist just fleecing these morons and will soon stand up and say “ha ha, look where your stupid beliefs have got you now” whilst sunning himself on his private beach in the Bahamas, surrounded by bikini clad babes. Or am I projecting now ? 😉

    Rog

  2. ALLEN says:

    Mr Benny Hinn should be tracked down and arrested for wire fraud.

  3. Pramod Subbaraman says:

    I recall a time a few years ago when Benny ‘Con’ Hinn visited Bangalore(India).

    A lot of people raised objections to his methods and there were protests.

    In fact, there were rumours that he was offering Rs 10,000(£ 140) at the time for anyone willing to CONvert at his stupid miracle CONvention.

    I was pleased with the level of opposition to his stunts, but on the other hand, the opposition mainly came from bigots of other religions who were merely trying to prevent Conversions to his brand of delusionism.

  4. Stuart W says:

    I don’t know what is more disturbingly ludicrous. The ruthlessness of the holy conman or the enabling complicity. Hopefully he will come to Britain next where we are a tad more cynical, and become the unwillinging subject of a docu-expose.

  5. Valdemar says:

    Wow, the stupid really burns. I suppose the other religious types are upset at Mr Hinn giving the game away i.e. not delivering on holy promises. That is standard religious practice, but usually it’s done with a little more subtlety.

    While a fool and his money will always be parted somehow, wouldn’t it be nice if – in the UK at least – it was possible to sue preachers like Hinn for breach of promise? After all, a verbal contract seems to be involved.

  6. Steve says:

    It’s hard to figure out who’s more fucked in the head, Hinn or the now poorer dipshits tossing money to him. I have no sympathy for those credulous enough to be duped like that.

  7. Rozi says:

    Well, if you’re stupid enough to fall for his bullsh*t, then you don’t deserve money.