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Decrease in viscosity turns Catholic brains to jelly

Three times a year thousands gather to watch as a glass phial containing the dried “blood” of Saint Januarius is removed from its locked vault, given a discreet shake, and held in the vicinity of his corpse where it “miraculously” liquefies.

Amaze your Catholic friends by giving a bottle of ketchup a good shake

Amaze your Catholic friends by giving a bottle of ketchup a good shake


It happened again on Saturday 19th, according Cardinal Crescenzio Sepe, archbishop of Naples, who announced the miracle to the credulous crowd. They set off fireworks and fired a 21-gun salute in celebration.

According to the legend, when Januarius was beheaded by pagan Romans in 305 A.D., a Neapolitan woman soaked up his blood with a sponge and preserved it in a glass phial. Well you would, wouldn’t you? A thousand years later, the miracle of liquefaction was first reported, and what turned out to be a sweet little money spinner for the diocese of Naples began.

Inevitably, some heretics have endeavoured to cast doubt on the veracity of the miracle, but for some strange reason the Catholic church is unwilling to allow scientists to open the phials and determine the exact chemical makeup of the liquid.

The most likely explanation is the thixotropic hypothesis. According to the Italian Committee for the Testing of Paranormal Claims:

Thixotropy denotes the property of certain gels to became more fluid, even from solid to liquid, when stirred, vibrated, or otherwise mechanically disturbed, and to resolidify when left to stand. Common examples of such substances are catsup, mayonnaise and some types of paints and toothpastes.

These Italian skeptics even went so far as to make up samples whose properties resembled those of the holy relic, using substances that would have also been available in the fourteenth century. They settled upon a reddish-brown FeO(OH) colloidal solution:

This gel is the right shade of brown without the addition of any dye; it becomes perfectly liquid when shaken […] and, just like the relic, can even produce the globo and bubbles on its shiny surface

Thixotropic iron hydroxide gel in its solid (left) and liquid (right) states

Thixotropic iron hydroxide gel in its solid (left) and liquid (right) states


Maybe one day the church will allow the contents of the phial to be analysed, and – should it turn out not to be a miracle after all – hold up their hands and apologise for misleading people all this time.

Now that would be a bloody miracle.

4 responses to “Decrease in viscosity turns Catholic brains to jelly”

  1. Stuart W says:

    This reminds me of the Jonathan Creek episode where a statue was able to ‘vanish’ because it was made of mercury (which liquifies at room temperature) all along.
    It will be a different creek that the perpetrators of this hoax will be up if they are ever exposed.

  2. Aksel Ankersen says:

    Thixotropy is an interesting property, but is not just gels and solutions as the article says. You can observe it next time you’re on the beach: Thixotropic sand looks solid, but is wet enough to become viscous i.e. quicksand if you walk on it.

  3. Roger says:

    Isn’t it funny how something being “sacred” prevents it from being properly examined. Hmmm. Always makes me think these poeple KNOW they’ve got something to hide !!

    Rog

  4. tony ewing says:

    It really saddens me that in this day and age that people are still stupid enough to be taken in by this blatent fakery. For centuries the Vatican would not allow the shroud of turin to be examined, when eventually a piece was carbon dated it was proven to be a fake – what a surprise!