NEWS that the Pilgrim Congregational Church in Weymouth, Boston, has launched a weekly “Woof ‘n’ Worship” service for dog owners and their pets, gave us an idea for another Freethinker caption contest.
The best caption for the picture on the left, which originally appeared here, will earn the winner a free one-year subscription to the Freethinker magazine. There is a runner-up prize of a copy of David Mills’ Atheist Universe: The Thinking Person’s Answer to Christian Fundamentalism.
Atheist Universe avoids the esoteric language and logic used by philosophers and presents its scientific evidence in simple lay terms, making it a richly entertaining and easy-to-read introduction to atheism. A comprehensive primer, it addresses all the historical and scientific questions, including: Is there proof that God does not exist? What evidence is there of Jesus’s resurrection? Can creation science reconcile scripture with the latest scientific discoveries?
Atheist Universe also answers ethical issues such as: What is the meaning of life without God? It’s a spellbinding inquiry that ultimately arrives at a controversial and well-documented conclusion.
And now back to the story:
The new church service is the brainchild of the Rev Rachel Bickford:
The idea came to me as I was sitting reading the Bible with my two dogs at my feet. Psalm 150 says, ‘Praise the Lord, let everything that breathes, praise the Lord.’ And Psalm 148 reads, ‘Let all wild animals, creeping things and flying birds give God praise’.
So I thought wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing to let all things praise God together and have families bring their dogs to church.
According to this report, the idea, while novel, isn’t unique. The Lutheran Church of the Good Shepherd in Chicago, for example, had weekly “dog walker” services this past summer. Aside from the occasional tussle between a Pomeranian and a poodle, the popular sessions went smoothly, according to church member Barbara Winters.
Those services were held outside. But Bickford plans her “woof ‘n’ worships” for inside the church sanctuary every Sunday at 5 pm.
We’re going to have doggy clean-up stations, but I’m not worried. Dog owners are very responsible folks. I fully expect it will be wonderful and that there will be a lot of giggles and all sorts of fun.
Talking about giggles and fun, both were produced in abundance when we launched our earlier Bush caption, and kidnapped cracker, contests.
The winner of the first is Chris, with his pithy:
I see black people.
The winner of the second is Marcus, who said he would do this to the Holy Eucharist:
I’d cover it in Marmite. That’s the worst abuse you can inflict on ANY cracker. Then I’d throw it to a gull. Oh, scrap that last part. I’ve just seen the ‘no cruelty to animals’ rule.
To claim their prizes, winners must send an email to barry@freethinker.co.uk, headed Prize Claim.
The closing date for today’s caption contest is October 31, 2008.
The Freethinker was founded in 1881 by GW Foote, an outspoken critic of religion. After the publication of 
October 8th, 2008 at 9:11 am
Dyslexic Child prays to Dog ??
October 8th, 2008 at 9:56 am
Lord will thou not rid me of this horrible kid?
October 8th, 2008 at 10:13 am
Bissskitssss!! Chocolate Bisskitsss!! Perlease!!
October 8th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Boy: …and when I grow up I want to be a pastor and wear the collar.
Dog: You can have mine
October 8th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Boy: God bless mummy, god bless Daddy
Dog: And YOU’RE meant to be the superior species ??
October 8th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Boy: the priest glued my hands to my mouth so I couldn’t tell.
Dog: That’s nothing, your bastard parents cut my balls off !!!
October 8th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Last one from me….
Boy: Our Father, who art in heaven…
Dog: And they call me mad for chasing my tail ?? At least my tail EXISTS !!
I’ll get my coat !
Rog
October 8th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Dog: “I’m glad they don’t really know what I’m doing to this bed.”
October 8th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Dog: “Firstly, I’ll scare this religious git into thinking ‘Iams’ (sorry) Anubis, then off to ‘bone’ (sorry again) Lassie.
October 8th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Dog: ‘What about canine testicular amputees? that’s got to be a cinch’
October 8th, 2008 at 11:33 pm
Im Praying they have the doggie poop catcher
October 9th, 2008 at 5:12 am
Fido pointed nose towards heaven, but failed to detect any scent of god.
October 9th, 2008 at 7:58 am
‘Dear Dog’
October 9th, 2008 at 8:14 am
Boy: God, if you do exist, please don’t let your priest abuse me again.
Dog: God, if you do exist, let me bite Murphy O’Connor’s bum.
October 9th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Isn’t it sad when you see a vulnerable creature manipulated into following its master’s orders, just in the hope of earning a reward.
October 9th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
woof woof! amen
October 9th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Sniff…that’s bullshit, master!
October 11th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Dog:- ‘Almighty Dog, creator of sticks and bones…’
October 13th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
His eyes are closed, good, he won’t notice I’ve widdled on the carpet.