The real "Dr" Ty Adams wants you to stop fiddling with your genitalia
DR Ty Adams is a fictional psychiatrist in the 2002 thriller Crazy as Hell. The real “Dr” Ty Adams is an American evangelist who IS crazy as hell!
Her special kind of crazy is centred on masturbation – an activity she’s determined to knock on the head by instilling a tremendous sense of guilt in anyone who does it, thereby unravelling decades of work by the medical profession to rid society of the notion that masturbation is in any way harmful.
Her motivation? God hates auto-eroticism.
Here, according to Adams, is the Almighty’s ACTUAL words on the subject:
Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? Certainly – but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder.
So God, according to Adams, author of Single, Saved, and Having Sex:
Never created sex so that you could gratify yourself. Masturbation often promises the pleasure but can never fulfill your inward void … It brings shame, and it is addictive … The dictionary defines masturbation as self abuse…the misuse of yourself. The mistreatment, the manipulation, the exploitation of YOU.
Er, which dictionary exactly, “Dr” Adams?
Ex-Masturbator T-shirts are the essence of Christian cool
Why, the 1605 Etymology dictionary, of course. Well, gee, but I don’t have that one on the shelf, but I do have the Merriam-Webster dictionary which defines the M word as:
Erotic stimulation especially of one’s own genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies.
A more amusing – but non-PC – view of masturbation comes from Karl Kraus (April 28, 1874 – June 12, 1936) an Austrian writer, journalist and satirist:
Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work.
And Woody Allen said:
Don’t knock masturbation – it’s sex with someone I love.
Adams, who declares on her website, “We have an obligation and a blood-bought, authoritative right to pray for you, equip you, and edify you until you come into the perfection and fullness of Christ” has succeeded in spawning an anti-masturbation movement, now eagerly being promoted by an outfit called the Passion for Christ Movement which has launched an “Ex-Masturbator” campaign with matching T-shirts.
All together now – WANKERS!
HAT TIP: Dave McKeegan, of Mediawatchwatch.
The Freethinker was founded in 1881 by GW Foote, an outspoken critic of religion. After the publication of 
February 8th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
I don’t think many of us would even consider masturbation after having seen the photo of that lovely lady.
February 8th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
I have to agree with Tony. I try not to judge people on their looks alone, but given this woman’s apparent focus on masturbation…. damn. There has to be some sex based embarassment in her past.
Also, I considered making my own T-Shirt that says “Proud masturbator”. But then I realised anyone who can see me knows I’m a masturbator. I just have that look.
February 8th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
The name of the composer who wrote the music for the TV series ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ is Thomas Wanker.
Please don’t ask me how I know this!
February 8th, 2009 at 11:36 pm
I have multiple windows open and am typing this with one hand. To admit it is the first step.
February 8th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
Steve – What’s with all the open windows? I always make a point of drawing the curtains before I knock one out!
And if Christians are so against masturbashing why do they celebrate Palm Sunday?
February 9th, 2009 at 12:54 am
90% of people masturbate, the other 10% are liars
February 9th, 2009 at 12:59 am
“If God hadn’t wanted us to masturbate, he would have made our arms shorter.” — George Carlin
February 9th, 2009 at 1:26 am
You’re right remigius, I meant the nasty windows on the desktop, but I should close the other windows, too, in case “Dr.” Adams is wandering around my house….or Bob.
February 9th, 2009 at 1:30 am
Yet again – sex and religion.
February 9th, 2009 at 1:49 am
I suspect that compared with this anti-masturbation movement the abstinence movement will end up looking like a resounding success.
February 9th, 2009 at 4:37 am
Mikespeir gets it right. Abstinence or anti-masturbation; they can only pick one to push on the rest of us. Sometimes, not even that.
February 9th, 2009 at 4:38 am
“Celebrate Palm Sunday” is officially my new favorite euphemism.
February 9th, 2009 at 8:32 am
Hmm, so crazy fat black mama tells the boys, “Quit touchin’ yo dick! Jesus don’ lark it!”, and the boys not only obey, they buy the T-shirt to prove it….
Something tells me some African Americans still have a lot of work to do in the “self respect” department.
February 9th, 2009 at 9:35 am
American fundies. Presumably she’s asking for donations for her Victorian style hate organization?
(Not you, Victoria)
February 9th, 2009 at 9:51 am
“If God had meant for you not to touch yourselves, he would have put it where you couldn’t get at it. Y’know that spot in the middle of your back?”
Mike Harding
A bit like George Carlin, only still alive and presenting a folk music radio show on BBC radio 2. And less swearing.
As for Dr Ty, she really ought to walk into Ann Summers sometime, introduce herself to a super power Rampant Rabbit and stop bleedin’ winging.
February 9th, 2009 at 10:38 am
“Banging the bishop” is the phrase that springs to mind.
February 9th, 2009 at 10:39 am
I think it was Woody Allen who said of masturbation, “You always meet a better class of person”.
February 9th, 2009 at 10:43 am
And this one from Lily Tomlin
“We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.”
February 9th, 2009 at 11:08 am
I had trouble reading this because my eyesight is so poor. Don’t know why!!
February 9th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Maybe they have to concentrate on this subject so much because they know all religious types are wankers. Unfortunalety for their campaign, even if it is a success, nothing will have changed.
February 9th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
But religion is ALL about self-abuse – guilt, denial of pleasure, etc., etc.
The average evangelical church service – with all those folk competing for the biggest, loudest, public protestation of personal unworthiness….if that’s not a kissing cousin to 14 year olds having a wanking race to see who comes fastest what is?
February 9th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
The Victorians were obsessed with religion and sex, in particular masturbation by young males; it makes you blind, sterile and other such nonsense. They came up with some very bizarre devices to try and stop boys from playing with their bits, as well as guilt. A strange thing is that Victorian women were thought to be above this – how little they knew!
February 9th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Wouldn’t it be great if someone bought one of Dr Adams tee-shirts – then used it as their special ‘wipey-cloth’!
February 9th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
And didn’t Groucho Marx say “I wouldn’t want to wank anyone who’d accept my member”
February 9th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
This woman’s name – “Ty”. Is it short for Tyrant?
February 9th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Or Tyson?
February 9th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Barry. Does that mean you wouldn’t mind getting her in the ring?
I think we should be told.
February 11th, 2009 at 1:44 am
a bit late, but just read this on site I just found for erotic writers:
An Orgasm a Day!
An Australian study (the results of which were published in the August 2003 issue of the British Journal of Urology) concluded that men who masturbate on a regular basis between the ages of 20 and 50 are less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life. In fact, men who masturbate to ejaculation more than five times per week are a third less likely to develop the disease. Since prostate fluid can store carcinogens in addition to good things like potassium and zinc, regular ejaculation has a cleansing effect, since it’s flushing out the bad and replacing it with the good. Just one more reason to take your pleasure into your own hands!
go for it guys!
February 12th, 2009 at 3:43 am
Callisto
extrapolating this effect, my prostate will be found in 2 million years still fully functional, long after my body has gone.
February 13th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
I was a proud masturbator, until I met my wife. Now I’m a proud mutual masturbator.
February 15th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
If RRRW Christians would masturbate more often(or, perish the thought, have actual sex) they wouldn’t spend so much time obsessing about what other people do with their genitals.
March 2nd, 2009 at 10:45 pm
Have you ever wondered why you feel guilty after masturbating?
Because it was not designed for us to do.
I also thought that religion was there take away pleasure, to impose guilt, and thats true, thats religion, its what we humans made for ourselves. However there is a God, without all the religiousness and all our beliefs, he still exits, and he is mighty and he made each and everyone of us. He made us all differently, no two fingerprints are the same, no two snowflakes are the same. But how is it that this amazing and huge God, our creator, how is it that he cares for us? How do we know this, why are we here in this huge universe, with earth being the only planet with life on it. With more stars than sand granules on this planet. Where will we go after this life? Just one life. Just one.
You can live without masturbating, give yourself away to your future wife, satisfy her desires, not your fantasies. Ask God for a personal relationship, Ask and you shall receive.
My life has been turned upside down. From masturbating daily, seeking empty sexual relationships, excessive alcohol drinking to a life with God. The problems still come, the temptations are many, but the reward is uncountable, eternal life my friends, my brothers and sisters. Search your hearts, your souls, what is it that you are lacking, what is it that you need, truly need, beyond sex, money, achievements, — meaning in our lives, true relationships, and there is nothing you can do to make God love you more, nothing. We are human BEINGS and God has given us a gift of life. How many times we undervalue our lives, think small, let little things bring us down. We search for meaning in our friends and family, perhaps at work, relationships, money, ownership, but we are all the same, the richest to the poorest, we have a mind capable of great things. a heart capable of loving to great depths. The answer to all your deepest questions, questions of belonging, definition, meaning, purpose of life, God has them. I cannot begin to explain how great our God is, and that he wants you, yes you, you my brother, you my sister, search no more, fear no more, search no more, God is there, he has been there from the moment you were born, he has been there through your hard times, through your loss. If anyone of you wants greater meaning in your lives, hope, love, Peace, answers, ask God into your lives. the living god, jesus, not religion, forget what men say is wrong or right, only God is the judge of that and it has always been that way, he will guide you if you trust in him. I do not know you my brothers and sisters but you can be set free from anything through God. if you would like to talk futher, go ahead and write to me. If you have only negative comments or swearwords go ahead and write them to me as well, maybe we can figure out some stuff together.
March 3rd, 2009 at 10:24 am
Jeshurun, did you actually read Callisto’s comment above before you set out on your foolish thoughts about masturbation? Every study shows that it is not only natural, it is also beneficial.
The only people who may feel guilty after masturbation are those who have been brainwashed by their religion into believing that masturbation is a sin. Immersing oneself in religion is no answer; people can only rid themselves of feelings of guilt about sex once they’ve rid themselves of religion, and all the poison it contains.
March 3rd, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Yes you are right Barry.
Religion does put poison into people’s minds
and that is where the guilt comes from
It is natural to have wet dreams, where the body releases the stored up sperm. masturbation is sex with oneself, and Sex was created for two human’s to enjoy together, by making love, between a man and a woman. Our sperm is meant to fertilize, create children.
March 3rd, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Jeshuran, you have an astonishingly narrow view of human sexuality. Biologically, the majority of humankind is programmed to use sex for procreation, but excludes those who are either disinterested in procreation, or are naturally attracted to people of their own sex.
You say “Sex was created for two human’s to enjoy together” but there is nothing wrong with three or more people engaging in recreational sex.
By suggesting that sex can only take place between “a man or a woman” you are saying there is something flawed about people of the same gender to enjoy sex. This a denial of a basic human right.
March 3rd, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Just because someone is disinterested doesnt mean that its not true. Lets go back to the basics, where a penis goes inside the vagina.
Yes sadly there are some people who are naturally attracted to people of the same sex, but that happens due to several reasons, for example, abuse in early childhood. And besides who defines human rights?
Do you believe in God?
March 4th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Jeshurun, your knowledge of human sexuality is even more lamentable than I originally thought. Sure, a penis goes into a vagina. It also regularly enters an anus (anal sex is regularly practised by millions of heterosexuals in every culture as a form of birth-control – or simply for fun); it enters a mouth (again, millions opt for oral recreational sex – and there are few things in the world that can beat the pleasure of a blow job); it enters things like watermelons, and objects that simulate vaginas, assholes and mouths (the sex toy industry in which I work is worth hundreds of millions of dollars a year); and, of course, it naturally fits in the palm of one’s hand.
You then use the word “sadly” to describe gay people, and suggest that homosexuality might be the result of childhood abuse. No, no no! Homosexuality occurs regularly in every society at the rate of about one in ten, and every reputable study has shown that people who are gay are genetically disposed to be that way. How else would you explain the existence of gay twins? What is sad is that religion – Christianity and Islam in particular – chooses to demonise and persecute homosexuals, whom, it could be argued, are created by nature to protect the planet from over-population, and to provide support – in health care, child care and the emergency services, for example – for a mainly heterosexual clientele. How many more mouths we we have to feed if 10 percent of the earth’s population were suddenly to start breeding?
Who defines human rights? Humans do, of course, through various conventions and declarations which have evolved over the centuries. But religion remains the single biggest obstacle to human rights in many countries of the world – the Islamic one’s being the worst for human rights abuses.
Finally, do I believe in God? Gimme a break. The idea of a god is as ridiculous as it is offensive to anyone with a rational outlook on life, which I like to think I possess.
March 4th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Barry, you are, how to say well informed on this subject and perhaps many others as well, thats awesome. You say you are a rational thinker? Perhaps you are. How do you think the world was created? Where do you think reason came from, how are humans able to reason. I grew up in India for 18 years, and they have a complete different view on human rights. How is it possible that humans have different views on what is right or wrong, good or evil? How can we reason truth, when it is only relative without God? And if it is relative, then is not truth.
March 5th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Jeshuran, one (of many subjects) that I have no knowledge of is physics, so I have no idea how the world was created. I have also very little knowledge of engineering or computer science, so equally I do not how how my motorcycle or my iMac works. But what I do know is that the world, like my bike and my Mac are simply there, and they work – (sometimes well, sometimes not) – despite my not knowing how. Knowing how they work may make me more knowledgeable, but in no way will it affect my relationship with these objects. It simply does not matter.
Where did reason come from? That’s easy. Reason is a consequence of the human evolutionary process.The development of reasoning (or a sort) equally applies to animals, again through the evolutionary process.
“How is it possible that humans have different views on what is right or wrong, good or evil?” That, I would say, was simply the result of different societies evolving in different ways. Those with the highest regard for morality, ethical behaviour and a willingness to care for the weakest members of their society are those with the lowest attachment to belief in god/gods. It is no coincidence that the poorest countries in the world, which also have the highest rate of human rights abuses, are also the most religious.
Finally, you suggest that “truth” can only be gained through god. As no gods have ever manifested themselves or spoken in the entire history of humankind, we have to assume that they simply do not exist, which makes your use of the word “truth” in relation to god utterly meaningless.
March 5th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Motorbike? Awesome, i have one too. If you are into riding i would suggest driving in the Himalayas, on a motorcycle it is astonishing and a wonderful experience.
Anyways, back to the subject. Dont you think its a bit narrow minded to say that something is simply there. Whether or not one knows about something doesnt mean it wasnt created. Like your bike and mac, the world was created, or lets say came into being. And i think it doesnt make a difference to the relationship we have with each. If i do not how to ride a bike properly or change gears, i would be a bit scared riding it. Likewise i take care of my motorcycle because i know it needs servicing or whatever in order to keep running. Otherwise if i didnt i would simply drive it until it broke down and therefore limit its potential.
If you say no set of moral standards is better than the other, there would be no sense in preferring western civil morality to say Nazi morality. However if you do say one is better or worse, you are measuring and comparing them to an ultimate standard. Without God there is no basis for morality. For morality to have a purpose there must be a point to it all.
You are right that some of the poorest countries are also the most religious ones. But let me point out USSR to you. They tried to build a government solely on atheist views and look what happened. There is such a high rate of poverty, lawslessness, crime, unemployment, broken families etc.
Yes God has shown himself in many ways throught history, for example his son Jesus, who was resurrected from the dead. There are also several miracles recorded, like cured diseases, people brought to life after being dead for several days and so on. And even if you do not agree with these manifestations that doesnt mean you can deny God.
March 5th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
sorry i meant to say i think it DOES make a difference to the relationship.
March 6th, 2009 at 8:50 am
Jeshurun, here I must terminate this conversation. Anyone who can state as a “fact” that “Yes God has shown himself in many ways throught history, for example his son Jesus, who was resurrected from the dead. There are also several miracles recorded …” is clearly delusional, and I cannot waste any more time debated with someone who is deluded to the extent that you clearly are. Sorry. Goodbye.
March 6th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Oh come on, my desire was only to make you think a bit simpler and beyond what you have heard from others. Yes it takes faith to believe in God. But be honest with yourself, do you really think the world came into being through an explosion?? or JUST happened to be? The beauty we have in this universe. the power of relationships, the ability to think, ability to make decisions, we arent just animals Barry Duke although they are quite magnificent as well. We have the ability to see what is right and wrong and make decisions out of that, unlike animals. My friend i hope that when you seek truth you will find it. Not according to what i have said or any other human but undeniable truth. That you were given a heart, a magnificent mind, and a soul. Yes you were formed in your mothers womb by your fathers seed but your qualities, your passions, your joys, your strenghts and weakness, your character, the way you are with others, thas you, unique and different from anybody else in this world. Tahts not just by chance. Bless you brother
February 22nd, 2010 at 10:22 pm
I work in Mental health and stumbled across this discussion and am horrified when i read how people can believe that abuse makes people homosexual or that some phantom being created all things pretty. Well then did this phantom being create paedophiles, murderers, abusers, rapists and allow them to get away with what they do? yes he did. If Jesus were alive now he would be Sectioned, do you not think i hear stories every day about the second coming? Religion screws up peoples lives more than it adds fulfillment, striving for what…to be put in a perfect place when the world chews you up and spits you out. If it’ so nice why don’t we get postcards from there and how can it be proved, simply it can’t. Evolution and science always made more sense to me, karma and the balance of the universe, good and bad. But i will tell you i am a sexually fulfilled female, i masturbate regularly, i enjoy anal, oral and vaginal sex and do not consider myself as bad or going to a bad place. Because if i am going to a bad place at least i will be with my friends and know i will have lived life to the full, experienced utmost pleasure at my own hands and many others. I do not appreciate narrow minded people. i appreciate we all need different ways of living our lives but passing comment on peoples preferences is bad and for that God should punish you if he so exists. Im a realist not a fantasist, i see people disturbed by visions of the devil, god punishing them etc… Wake up and smell the real world!!