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When a troll comes calling

THIS being a quiet Saturday evening, I thought I’d address the problem of the Internet Troll,  best described by the creator of Flayme.com thus:

I believe that most trolls are sad people, living their lonely lives vicariously through those they see as strong and successful.

Disrupting a stable newsgroup gives the illusion of power, just as for a few, stalking a strong person allows them to think they are strong, too.

For trolls, any response is ‘recognition’; they are unable to distinguish between irritation and admiration; their ego grows directly in proportion to the response, regardless of the form or content of that response.troll1

Remember that trolls are cowards; they’ll usually post just enough to get an argument going, then sit back and count the responses (Yes, that’s what they do!)

Prime characteristics of trolls include:

• No imagination
• Off-topic posting
• Repeating a question or statement
• Missing the point – trolls rarely answer a direct question. They cannot, if asked to justify their twaddle, so they develop a fine line in missing the point.
• They are thick or sad –  lonely folk, with few social skills; they rarely make what most people would consider intelligent conversation.

Recognise someone?

Why, of course you do!

It’s Bob Hutton – bobwasjohn@googlemail.com – the Christian knuckle-dragger who describes himself on various message boards as “an evangelist” from Broadstairs in Kent, and a man who has chosen to dog this blog for months.

Regrettably, some readers have chosen to feed this troll by responding to his posts – off-topic, witless and repetitive Christian blathering. The result is  that visitors – normally placid and fairly well-mannered folk  – have been goaded into rages of Mount St Helens proportions, and there has been an embarrassment of effing and blinding on this blog.

Hutton –  best described by Dr William Harwood as “godphuked” – is now barred, but this has not stopped him from attempting to get his messages through. Spam filters don’t always work, so occasionally his drivel appears under a post. These messages are routinely deleted. But if you see such a message, PLEASE ignore it – do not feed the troll no matter how great the temptation.

Since we began deleting the cretin’s comments, he has been whining nonstop that we are trampling all over his right to “free speech”.

So what pearls of wisdom have we missed; what lofty intellectual observations has he made since the drawbridge was hoisted? What sparkling gems of wit have been brushed into the bin?

Since March 3, 2009, until today, this pathetic creature has attempted to post  30 comments. Here is a selection – be warned of a very high MEGO (My Eyes Glaze Over) factor. Hutton might be queer, but Oscar Wilde he ain’t!

• I went on to Billy Harwoods (sic) blog and posted there but he doesn’t believe in free speech either!!

• You MUST repent. If you don’t repent then Hellfire awaits you when you die.

• Hello there – you really must repent of your unbelief and accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour.

• Gay activities are sinful and they need to repent.

• The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah is not a myth, that event actually happened.

• Oh dear, you people are so cynical, so full of hate and bitterness! You need Jesus in your lives.

• Creationists are on the move; we will not be silenced!

•  Creationists are on the march – we will prevail!

•  Creationism is the truth. Evolution is evil-lution.

This isn’t even original. It was concocted  years ago by some American numbskull.

•  The payback will occur on the judgement day when you face God!

• Islam is a false relgion (sic) that comes from the Devil.

•  Jesus died for us – He died for our sins.

Actually, he didn’t.  He died for his OWN fucking sins!

• Precisely, who decides what is acceptable free speech? If this blog believes in free speech I should not be getting deleted.

• Buffy: you must repent of perversion.

• Hey Barry, where are you? Worshipping at the shrine of Dawkins? You must repent of your unbelief!

• Jesus is Lord – you will not silence the followers of Jesus!

•  I don’t hate gays but what they are doing is a perversion and they need to repent.

• Those who refuse to repent WILL end up in Hell – you have been warned!

Clearly frustrated by having his messages deleted, Hutton suggested a ludicrous compromise:

Hey Barry, if you don’t like me posting lots of comments then I would suggest you take up the offer I made viz. you don’t delete my posts and I will only put on one post per article. Is it a deal?

No, it bloody isn’t! And I don’t take kindly to veiled threats.

And here’s one that had me on the floor laughing. It came after I recently described Hutton as “mental”:

No Barry I am not mental – I am perfectly sane. You must  repent of making a false allegation.

This from a pervert who has confessed to entering supermarkets to insert religious tracts into food packaging.

“Mental”, in fact, might be grossly understating the condition of this troll’s mind. “Crazy as a shithouse rat” is far nearer the mark.

UPDATE: March 16 – The troll is trying to get back under the name FreeSpeechDefender using other e-mail addresses: jmeric18@googlemail.com and bobhutton62@googlemail.com

34 Responses to “When a troll comes calling”

  1. Shargraves says:

    when you see it all written down together like that… You can’t help but imagine some crazy-eyed wretched lunatic screaming in a padded cell….

  2. Barry Duke says:

    Oh yes, Shargraves, there was method in my madness when I began hoarding the “Thoughts” of Chairman Bob. We gotta have a laugh now and then, heh?

  3. Buffy says:

    I admit I gave in and fed it more often than I should have (bad Buffy) but I will not do so any longer. Planned Ignoring is always the best method to encourage extinction of a challenging behavior.

  4. Sapphocrat says:

    Isn’t it a shame the UK shut down the original Bedlam?

  5. polomint38 says:

    I got accused of being a troll on dreamin’ demon (they report perverts and abusers) I was objecting to there belief that physical attacks where okay if someone was scum. Legal and moral(imho) reasons say you shouldn’t just attack people.

    I now can’t be bothered to go back.

    Violence is okay if they don’t like the person, otherwise wrong.

  6. nullifidian says:

    If you want his home phone number, address and the names of the people he lives with, the information is all available online. Not that one should use this knowledge for nefarious purposes… (unlike Bob and his product tampering).

    Of course, if you used IntenseDebate Comments, blacklisting this cretin is a simple case of pasting his current email address into a text field. ;-) I’ve not heard back from him since in my neck of the woods, but then again I don’t get as many visitors (except for the fly-by-night Redditors and Stumblers, but they don’t really count).

    That wasn’t a hint though. For some reason the comment system on this site seems far better than the usual WordPress fare.

    On the other hand, I think I’m going to miss that crazy loon… Nah, who am I kidding?

  7. Serai says:

    Good riddance, I made no pretence at allowing ‘free speech’ on my blog, and yet I still had to listen to the whiney free speech victims, or even more laughable were the ones who threatened to sue me for defamation or violation of ‘their rights’!

  8. Dr William Harwood says:

    All godworshippers are insane. Anyone who was not insane before he started believing that mass murder was evil when Hitler did it with gas chambers, but is not evil when his imaginary Sky Fuhrer does it with disease, famine, religious wars, natural disasters, transportation accidents, and old age, is certainly insane once he does acquire such a belief. But not all are incurable, or “recovered godworshipper” (as I describe myself) would be an oxymoron.
    One-quarter of all godworshippers, being one-sixth of the total population, could not be cured even by the infinite quantity and quality of the falsifying evidence that is no further away from anyone in the Western world than the nearest university library. An even higher percentage could not be cured by the logical arguments found in The God Delusion; god is not Great; God the Failed Hypothesis; The End of Faith; Breaking the Spell; and the book that details the origin and evolution of the Moses and Jesus delusions, Mythology’s Last Gods: Yahweh and Jesus. The most common slang term applicable to the hardcore 16 percent is “mental.” While that word is admittedly imprecise, persons who use it tend to agree that it refers to persons whose capacity for rational human thought falls somewhere between a merino sheep and a pickled cabbage. Ron Hubbard’s FBI file contains a letter from Hubbard on which an agent has handwritten, “sounds mental.”
    Not only are internet stalker trolls mental. So is any theologian (defined by H. L. Mencken as a blind man in a dark room searching for a black cat that is not there–and finding it) capable of rationalizing that it is Richard Dawkins who is delusional; ID proponents who refuse to grasp that couching fairy tales in scientific language does not make creationism science; and Vatican Fuhrers and deputy Fuhrers who seriously believe that, “When we do it, it is not evil.”
    The only difference between God and the Flying Spaghetti Monster is that the FSM is not the most sadistic, evil, mass-murdering psychopath in all fiction. And the only difference between the stalker troll and Fred Phelps is that Phelps is content to restrict his paranoia to his own website, and refrain from demonstrating his mental handicap on sane people’s sites.

  9. Godless not gormless says:

    “theologian (defined by H. L. Mencken as a blind man in a dark room searching for a black cat that is not there–and finding it)”

    That is just brilliant! Thanks for that!

  10. Alun says:

    Nice one Barry

    What I find the most disturbing aspect of mentalist Bob’s behaviour is his interference with food items at supermarkets. If he’s already inserting messages in packaging then why not introduce something noxious into our heathen diet? He could claim his victim would not have selected the tainted food had he accepted god.

    The police should know of this and get him an ASBO banning him from shops as they do for thieves and pickpockets. I would also recommend a pleasant stay at an institution where good old fashioned electro-convulsive “therapy” is still administered.

  11. FrodoSaves says:

    Doc Harwood – well said!

    Barry, what can I say? God sends these trolls to test us. Wait, no he doesn’t.

  12. Moth says:

    “This from a pervert who has confessed to entering supermarkets to insert religious tracts into food packaging.”

    LMAO… religious zealots are scary as frak. Yeah, there’s the type of person I’d like to ‘hang’ with… not. I’m glad they spend part of their weekends together away together in church, and away from the public. This article was freaking funny. Funny and sad.

  13. 1859 says:

    He seeks negative attention as a way of pychologically underpinning his own belief-system etc., it’s a common ploy. Underneath there is probably a pityfully lonely person who hasn’t yet broken free of adolescence.

  14. george.w says:

    Oh for pity’s sake, it isn’t censorship unless the government does it. The cretin is perfectly free to start a blog of his own and spout off to his heart’s content. You’re no more obligated to give him a forum than you are to allow Jehovah’s Witnesses into your living room for tea.

  15. TONY E says:

    I’m just glad to see the back of him and his purile drivel.

  16. Broga says:

    Barry. Well done, ban that troll. I think, references to H.L.Mencken should come with a “health warning.” You could injure yourself laughing at his dismantling of religious bigotry.

  17. Stuart W says:

    Though I rarely spoke directly to him, I did ask Sideshow Bob some weeks ago if he was a member of Christian Voice (after he repeatedly stated admiration for Stephen Green) and if not, could he explain why. He never answered either part.
    Troll must have been off his food that day… or could he not quite get his jaws around it?

  18. Stonyground says:

    I have relatives who are intelligent and Christians and I am always baffled by this. But it really is impossible to get to the bottom of the mystery as the subject of religion is off limits (unspoken rule) at family gatherings, and with good reason I would say. Thus I would welcome an intelligent religionist here as someone that I could possibly learn from. I find it so difficult to understand how anyone can believe the things that these people believe in the twenty-first century when every one gets a free and compulsory education. Presumably the clever ones are too sensible to expose their beliefs to informed critisism on a forum such as this one and so we are left with the idiots who are mildly entertaining to begin with but become tiresome pretty quickly.

  19. DannyJ says:

    FrodoSaves, that made me laugh out loud!! Well said :-)

  20. Anik says:

    Dear Stonyground; coming from a family of catholics and having had to face this question over the course of many years, it breaks two ways. One is the lazy way – it’s easier to go with what you’ve been taught as a child than do the hard work needed to figure it out for yourself AND face the family who aren’t doing that. Second are those few like my brother who have really gotten into it and after years of studying (can you believe my brother reads Teilhard de Chardin in the French….) have convinced themselves that it’s true!!!! Of course you can’t point out that, like CS Lewis, he started ON THE ASSUMPTION that it is true and everything he read and thought FROM THAT BASIS just reinforced the original belief. Oh sorry there is a third, maybe even the majority; these are the people, especially here in the USA, who are just too stupid and ill-educated to try to figure anything out for themselves. Not only that, they get violent when they think their cherished beliefs are threatened – kinda like muslims wouldn’t you say?

  21. Ryan says:

    Personally while I’m not thrilled when I’m told I’m going to burn in hell, I actually like Bob. He reminds me just why it’s so important to live in a secular society.

  22. Anton says:

    Hi Gang,

    I used to collect troll comments, and send them to selected religious leaders with my comment that “this is what your flock said today. If you are ashamed of them, speak out! If you stay silent we can only assume that you agree with these comments.” I got too tired of monitoring their crap so I changed the “comment method” on my blog.

  23. Wurble says:

    I must admit, I’m guilty of having fed the troll on more than one occasion, it wont happen again. I naively thought it might be fun to argue with him but as we all quickly became aware, he was a very unworthy adversary. My kids can argue with more rational thoughts than him plus they never threaten me with hell if I don’t believe them.

  24. remigius says:

    Poor ol’ Bob. He must be in turmoil. An entire article, with a couple of dozen comments, dedicated to him…and there is bugger all he can do about it.

    He doesn’t seem to realise that he is being kept outside like a retarded puppy because he keeps crapping inside. His continued whimpering to be let back in to crap on the carpet again is both pathetic and very amusing.

    He just doesn’t get it.

    Silly puppy.

  25. Stonyground says:

    Anik. Thanks for that explanation it helps a bit. To be fair to our religious nuts, they are Methodists and as far as I am aware, completely benign. They express their religion through charity work and have done so to such an extent that they have been to a garden party at Buck Palace because of it. I think it is interesting that they never mentioned this and I was unaware until I found out via a third party.

  26. Anon a Moose says:

    Totally photoshopped.

  27. remigius says:

    Anon a Moose.

    Are you seriously suggesting that the picture in the article is not an actual photo of Bob, but merely a caricature mocked up on a proprietary jpeg manipulation platform?

    Jeez. Whatever next!

  28. David says:

    You must repen… Nevermind. ; )

    Honestly, though, if you are running a blog that is privately owned, then there is no such thing as free speech. What if you had just turned off comments altogether? Would that be impinging upon his right to free speech? I argue NO! So with that in mind, you have simply turned commenting off for HIM. I say carry on in your present manner and good for you.

  29. TheTrevor says:

    I watched with my mother, as my eldest brother died in hospital. My mother was blind by then, and could only hear her first-born childs dying laboured breaths. I had to call the doctor to confirm that Jim was actually dead, as he had restarted, and faded away, so many times, until at last, he was silent, and I conducted my mum away from the scene. What kind of god thought that was GOOD ? PART OF HIS PLAN ? No, I think there is no “£$%$)&$£ god.

  30. agghtea says:

    Having stumbled over this I’d suggest that anyone who wants more hot sweet troll roasting should head on over to:

    http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/

    IT’S… LIKE… PC…. GAWN MADDDD over there.

    p.s. Barry, nice one, the only way these idiots will bugger off is to shine a picture of Enoch Powel into the sky – bit like the bat signal!

  31. [...] police visit to her home was an over-reaction. I have changed my mind. People like her – and the insufferable troll Bob Hutton who never stops trying to plant his inane, homophobic comments on this site – continually bang on [...]

  32. [...] more despicable anti-gay rant comes this week from another sodomy-obsessed Christian evangelist, Bob Hutton from [...]

  33. SomeEejit says:

    Hell’s bells, imagine living with him. Repent, repent, repent- he’s like a broken record. WHY DOES HE ALWAYS SAY ‘REPENT’?

  34. Ter says:

    YES IT’S TRUE ALL TROLLS ARE THE SAME AND AS AN EMPIRICST, I AM FORCED TO BELIEVE THAT YOU MUST HAVE BEEN A TROLL TO DEFINE A TROLL AND TROLLING DEMEANOR