THE Grand Rebbe Meshulam Feish Lowy of Tosh – or Rebbe Tosh as he is known to his Ultra-Orthodox Jewish followers – has been giving awful earache to residents in the Victoria Park area of Fort Lauderdale.
Tosh, from Montreal, had taken up residence in a vacant Mansion to escape the Canadian winter – and, within days, local authorities were bombarded with complaints from residents about late-night stomping and moaning, loud music, crowds and cars.
Rabbi Tosh, wielding scissors, meets a young male devotee
Devotees, according to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, were driving miles to spend a few moments with the elderly, diminutive spiritual leader and to receive his blessing. The gnomish Tosh is 88.
Local resident Larry Eskesen wrote to his commissioner:
There is no doubt in our minds that the rabbi is a very spiritual man … but does he have to be spiritual so noisily?
But city officials were reluctant to take any action. They were mindful of what happened in Hollywood, where the city tussled for years with the Chabad Lubavitch Jewish sect which set up in a residential neighborhood.
Said City Attorney Harry Stewart:
The Chabad is still there and Hollywood got tagged for $2 million.
And Cooper City, Florida, was ordered by a court last year to pay $325,000 to Chabad of Nova for using “discriminating” zoning laws to keep its synagogue out of town.
After researching the law and talking to an attorney, Victoria Park residents all but declared defeat this week.
At their monthly meeting on Wednesday night, President Ted Fling told them “the courts are against us.” He asked residents not to talk about it, lest they be sued.
Fearing allegations of anti-Semitism, City Manager George Gretsas, a devout Greek Orthodox Christian who went this week to the house to check out complaints, said:
When you have such a high-profile person visiting the city, you don’t want them to feel unwelcome … In Catholicism, it’d be like the Pope.
This apparently did not stop one irate resident from playing “Nazi music” loud enough for Tosh visitors to hear.
Then, as suddenly as he arrived, Tosh left for his home base in Boisbriand, Quebec, in preparation for Passover. No one’s sure when he’ll be back.
Note: The photo above, from an amazing collection posted here, cries out for a caption. Let’s have your entries by April 10. First prize of S T Joshi’s H L Mencken on Religion will go to the winner, along with a year’s subscription to the Freethinker magazine. The runner’s-up prize is a year’s subscription to the Freethinker. Please post your entries under this item for all to see and chuckle over.
The Freethinker was founded in 1881 by GW Foote, an outspoken critic of religion. After the publication of 
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Captions? – “I’m feeling peckish, lets see that little foreskin skin then!
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:37 pm
“Lucky for you that you are a girl, or you’d know intimately what these scissors are used for!”
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:50 pm
“I know you’re a girl, but I can still show you what a bris is if you’d like….”
April 4th, 2009 at 2:37 am
“Slice and suck? No my dear boy, this is the 21st century: we use these new-fangled ‘schmissors’ nowadays.”
April 4th, 2009 at 10:25 am
Caption:
Rabid rabbi amid avid Hasid in bid to give kid yid lid.
April 4th, 2009 at 11:12 am
Rabbi Tosh makes the first cut at the annual ringlet harvest or ‘Barbermitzvah’ as its better known.
April 4th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Sir Jimmy Savile Fixed It for the Rabbi to take lessons from Nicky Clarke.
April 4th, 2009 at 11:33 am
The “young male devotee” looks like “he” is growing a nice little set of tits to me! Or maybe I’m just a confused priest?
April 4th, 2009 at 11:41 am
“In a few years I will do this to your penis” Were the last words spoken to the missing child according to his parents. “Please come home,
isn’t it obvious we love you?” said his mother.
(Can I have more than one go?)
April 4th, 2009 at 11:47 am
If Wurble gets another go then so do I.
Little kid – “Are you gonna screw me?”
Rabbi – “Outa what?”
April 4th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
“Are you ready to play ‘cock scissors or paper’?”
April 4th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
“I want your foreskin to make you another religious prick”
April 4th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
‘Call me Fagin again and I’ll cut the whole bloody lot off!’
April 4th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
“Retards”
April 4th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Rabbi: “…and this is the izmel.”
Child: “iz bloody not!”
(Alt: Child: “Mohel it is!”)
April 4th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
First I’ll do you, then you do me and if these guys can watch we’ll call it ten whole bars of chocolate and a lolly. What do you say?
(for my money chrsbol is the clear winner)
April 4th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Rabbi – “It’s lucky for you that I spotted the typo. For over 3000 years we’ve been cutting off the forecock instead of the forelock!”
April 4th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
Little kid – “Mummy, when I said ‘I want some nutty chews’ I meant nougat!”
April 4th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Let’s find another pair of curtains and i’ll make a coat for you.
April 4th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
I’m going to cut your cock off with scissors little boy, because I am a totally fucking sick perverted bastard, and because of religion, I’m going to get away with it.
April 4th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
“you gotta snip a locket or too boy”
April 5th, 2009 at 1:57 am
“I’ll give you a five second head start”
April 5th, 2009 at 6:39 am
“Just a little lock of hair to remember the lovely night you gave your uncles and me”
April 5th, 2009 at 6:45 am
“Now once more: was the holocaust real?”
April 5th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Caption.
Tosh, ” whoa there little one, what have we told you about running with scissors, you could have somebodys rabeye out.”
April 5th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Sorry I can’t bring myself to joke about this picture, it is just far too creepy. Had a good laugh at everyone elses efforts though.
April 5th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Caption: “I didn’t quite get it right the first time; I’m going to have to take a bit more off the top.”
April 5th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
Stonyground.
So what you’re saying is – this ain’t no laughing matter but you had a bloody good laugh anyway!
Brilliant.
Barry. In the very likely situation that I win both first and second prizes, could you give the extra subscription to Stonyground.
April 6th, 2009 at 2:37 am
Remigius, let’s not be too hasty in counting chickens …
April 6th, 2009 at 7:39 am
Rabbi “After the ceremony my child you can have these scissors at a very good price.”
April 6th, 2009 at 8:00 am
After failing so miserably at his first attempt, the Rabbi felt a bit of a prick, and all was well.
April 6th, 2009 at 9:56 am
“My Pre…cious”
April 6th, 2009 at 11:45 am
Rabbi: “I’ll need your foreskin.”
Boy: “Why?”
Rabbi: “To make a wallet and when I rub it, it’ll become a suitcase.”
I STOLE THIS JOKE FROM REDUCED SHAKESPEAR COMPANY!
April 7th, 2009 at 6:53 am
One more, sorry!
Rabbi: “We can do this the easy way or the hard way….
April 7th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Barry Duke.
Chickens, schmickens. Whose counting?
Oi va voi!
April 10th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
another: I really want that book
Rabbi: Don’t panic it’s only a bris, why do these kids always go off half cocked?
December 6th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
I think these comments are sick.
He is a very righteous and holy man with an elevated soul.
He may cause traffic problems but that is all – I hope you do some research into judaism to see the beauty of the religion which doesn’t ask anything of anyone.
If you met him you would know what a great soul he is.
January 1st, 2010 at 12:44 am
B”h bizches the hilege tzdaik the bad neighbor moved and peace is back. All neighbors are. Happy!
March 24th, 2010 at 4:33 am
Fling was probably the one playing the Nazi music. He terrorizes all of us living in the neighborhood with his holier than though dictatorial attitude and libelous comments.
May 23rd, 2010 at 3:25 am
to everyonewho mocks this saintly rabbi may u de in hell amen
July 15th, 2010 at 7:39 am
Hello everyone, here’s writting a neighbour, that lives right opposite the house of the rabbi, i live on the address of 401 NE 11 TH AVE, and i am writting here not only what’s on my mind, but what’s on more neighbour’s of the street’s mind, this rabbi has brought light to our street, we feel so happy every day we see such an holy angel, were very lucy that he’s on our street with us, i must say all the people that are around him always ask us if every thing is ok, they are such special people, we want him back.
Let me explain everyone what was wrong! There was one neighbour on the back street that’s called 10 TH AVE, he lived right in the back of this rabbi’s backyard, and as this house was built a good few year’s ago know-one had lived there since they finished building this house, all the light’s were alway’s off and dark, now that the rabbi came here, the light’s in the back and front are alway’s on, and this neighbour didn’t like the light in the back, as it was too strong for his window’s at night, so he tried to disturb them when they had there party’s and friday night’s to call police, i had spoke to him put on a shade cover your window with blind’s, but he didn’t want, as he answered “i should put blind’s and curtain’s becouse they have come here” they should go some where else, any way he was a little sick, but he moved already, and this past Winter the rabbi came back and evry think was ok. Everyone is Happy!