Fight your flab for Jesus – or face eternal damnation

A FEW years back, a comical Christian fundie called Gwen Shamblin came to my attention via the lunatic Weigh Down programme – an outrageous bit of quackery that purports to melt away pounds of ugly fat through the power of Jesus.

Gwen Shamblin

Gwen Shamblin

I was reminded of Shamblin after learning recently that America’s most obese state – Mississippi – also happens to be the most religious.

Mississippi is home too to many churches that practice exorcism – and has a particular appetite for exorcising the “demon of homosexuality”.

What a shame that they don’t have the same enthusiasm for exorcising the “demon of gluttony”!

On the other hand, they might just try EXERCISING!

Anyway, back to Shamblin. With her skinny white arse, big hair and improbable teeth, this charlatan is still at it – and clearly raking in the dosh, hams over fist.

Her website appears far more sophisticated than it was when I first stumbled upon it. And it’s utterly hilarious.

dietHere’s a sample:

We have been created with two empty, needing-to-be-fed holes in our body. One is the stomach, and the other is the heart.

So, major fail on anatomy there.

Anyway:

The stomach is a literal hole in our body which is to be fed with the proper amount of food. As for the heart, I am speaking figuratively of our deep-down feelings.

Oh, figuratively! I get it.

Trying to feed a hurting, needy heart with food or anything on this earth (alcohol, tobacco, antidepressants, sexual lusts, money, the praise of other people, etc) is a common error. The person who attempts to feed a longing heart with food will stay on the path to overweight …

Here’s how Weigh Down can “help”:

Weigh Down is showing people, on a daily basis, how our God can transform their hearts and minds so that they can rise above the magnetic pull of the refrigerator! Instead of emphasizing the caloric content of food, the Weigh Down Workshop encourages you to focus on your natural, internal hunger control. But more importantly, your focus will be trained to turn toward the will of God as it relates to food!knife_fork

God did not put chocolate or lasagna or real blue cheese dressing on earth to torture us, but rather for our enjoyment. However, He wants us to learn how to rise above the magnetic pull of the refrigerator so that food does not consume our lives!

I think you get the gist.

Hysterical Shamblin may be, but she’s also a major bloody menace. The worrying thing about her programme is that, according to this report:

Weight loss advice was overshadowed by the rhetoric implying that overeaters are courting eternal damnation. In class videos, Shamblin was self-righteous, her tone dictatorial … Goals are set, and if they are not met, members are told they will go to hell. Guilt and shame are used to keep the members in line for overeating.

Is anyone else here thinking Majorie Dawes, the hypocritical, fat-fighting fascist in Little Britain?

Marjorie Dawes

Marjorie Dawes

Shamblin is also leader of the Remnant Fellowship Church in Tennessee, and in 2007 she and a bunch of 67 church members tried to sue the Reverend Rafael Martinez, who runs a website dedicated to warning the public about cults, for gazillions of dollars.

The suit alleged that Martinez defamed the plaintiffs by making statements that the church’s practices were “dangerous and destructive” and indicating that church doctrine advocated “extreme fasting” and “extreme discipline for children”, including spankings and whippings.

Martinez moved successfully to have the suit dismissed. The Tennessee state court granted his motion in April 2007, but also granted the plaintiffs permission to amend their complaint. Rather than amending it, the plaintiffs chose to voluntarily withdraw it.

Hmmm …

You can read the entire sorry saga here.