Don’t mention the word ‘God’ if you want to succeed at finding an on-line date

HERE’S a surprising bit of info: any mention of God in a “first approach” lonely heart’s message will reduce your chances of receiving a reply – but your chances of sparking interest in a potential date will be significantly enhanced if you say you’re an atheist.god-chart

I say “surprising” because the finding comes via an AMERICAN dating website.

According to a survey conducted by the leading US dating service, OkCupid, around 42 per cent of messages which included the word “atheist” achieved replies, significantly higher than the average response rate of 32 per cent.

It scanned the text of more than 500,00 “first contacts” to see which terms increased – and decreased – the lonely heart’s chance of earning a response.

According to OkTrends, the website’s official blog:

Atheist actually showed up surprisingly often (342 times per 10,000 messages, second only to 552 mentions of Christian and ahead of 278 for Jewish and 142 for Muslim).

References to “Christian”, “Jewish” and “Muslim” boosted a message’s success rate only marginally, while mentioning “god” in a first approach was a complete turn-off.

Self-effacing men are also more likely to get a reply to their approaches, while nothing puts potential dates off more than textspeak like “ur” and “luv”.

The analysis also suggests that online daters should avoid making personal compliments too early – “sexy” and “beautiful” sent response rates plummeting – and instead express an interest in their target’s hobbies.


37 responses to “Don’t mention the word ‘God’ if you want to succeed at finding an on-line date”

  1. barriejohn says:

    Hi Barry. I think u lk v sexy. Wd u like to meet my friend Jesus? Me GWM, middle-aged, tall, fit, GSOH, told good looking. Own house and cat. Plse get in tch ASAP. (Will be in Jamaica @ end of mnth.)

    (In case anyone is wondering, practically none of the above is true – apart from the bit about Barry – but then have you ever read the "lonely hearts" columns?)

  2. GNG says:

    lol v funy bj wsh id thot ov tht1

    Gdlss nt grmls

  3. barriejohn says:

    cnt ndrstnd wot yr sayin OMG WTF OBE PDSA LBW!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Rog says:

    I luv gd, gwb & h8 drwin – wanna huk up?

  5. MelM says:

    I wonder what happens to the response rate if it's made clear that one is looking for another atheist. On a dating service, I would certainly do this to avoid disappointment and hurt for both myself and the woman.

  6. Brianna says:

    so like this is mii first time writin on 1 of these things and im not relly shure wut i shuld rite but i luv jesus and if u hve made Him ur lord and savior then we shuld totally chat and read teh bible together cuz all dem others not livin for jesus dont know that they is going to hell and we can be in heaven on a date cuz we live 4 Him

    rite me bak sxy cuz we can do stuff then go 2 church cuz we livin 4 jesus those aeithiests dont no that they is livin wit satan and they is 2 dum to know how 2 meet peeple like us who is not dum

  7. barry_duke says:

    Jesus 'king Crst … wot hve I st☆ted now? And @ Barrie I's far 2 old to b sxy! But thanx anyway.

  8. shargraves says:

    Indeed what have you started! Here goes…

    Long haired bearded layabout into violence and wearing dresses. Prefers fetish/BDSM enthusiasts. WLTM victim for torture, caning, whipping and possibly more.


  9. Angela_K says:

    Could it be that atheists are known to be reasonable, honest people who are unlikely to indulge in superstitious extremism and bizarre rituals?

  10. barriejohn says:

    I cnt ndrstnd wot u r sayin AK cn u rite in nglsh plz?

  11. GNG says:

    i agrea wiv bj ak shld at leest mke sum atmpt 2 kp up stndrds hear cuz we is tryn 2hav a intelectule conversion hre if u cnt spel ak u shld of keped ur mth shut!

    btw prase the lord n big showt out 2 god

  12. barriejohn says:

    There was a report the other day about a church using rap to try to attract the "yoof" to its services.


    Looking on the net I see that this is not the first time that this has been tried. I was wondering whether our dear Sister Talitha and all the godly believers of Landover Baptist Church were using such Twenty-First Century means to "make the Gospel relevant" to a younger, more stupid generation?

  13. GNG says:

    hey briana u seem reely nice id luv2 mt wiv u an shair the joy of th lord jc wiv u well wot cn i say bout me i;m eezy goin gsh h8 athists cuz they gona brn in HELL ha ha ha i;m a nice prson wat liv life to full lke watchin creashun dvd;s cuz they prove evulsion is RONG!!! u only hav2 luk @ flintstones 2no dinosours n humns livd at da sam time HA!!!

    on 1st d8 we cud go bible class cuz its kool! wat u fink?

    if u lik wwat u here gt bak2 me n i giv u me mobi no

    jesus is our saviuor n lord

  14. barriejohn says:

    I suppose it's an improvement on using crap to attract people to its services!

  15. barriejohn says:

    BTW Did anyone else see that 103-year-old "skating vicar" on TV again the other day? Every time I see him clinging on to that lychgate for dear life I nearly piss my pants!!

    (Sorry if I've gone off at a bit of a tangent here Barry. It's never been known before!)

  16. barriejohn says:

    Is it becus I is a Xtian? U is well bigited lke all dem uther homeos. Da BBLE say dat u is all goin t brn in HELL! it say in loveticis dat u is…… (continues for several pages in same vein.)

  17. barriejohn says:

    Big it up for da Lord, GNG! (I think I'm transmogrifying into Ali G here!!)

  18. Angela_K says:

    Mon dieu! Je ne comprend pas, qu'est-ce que vous dites?

  19. barriejohn says:

    i here u is a aphid too. i hop u rot in hell u bastrerd.

  20. Talitha says:

    Brother Barriejohn, Rap is the work of the Devil.
    Do you think we want the youth of our peaceful Church taking on the Negro lifestyle?
    Of course not! You may as well ask if the Pope is a Catholic.
    We all know that Jesus is as white as the driven snow and would find Rap music as Unchristian as Veganism.
    In fact, our own Pastor Deacon Fred wrote a Sermon on this matter as far back as 2000:

  21. Buffy says:

    Well duh. Even when I was a Christian I would have been turned off by a Godbot (someone who was on about God 24/7 and managed to work God into every conversation and situation). And someone who puts "God" into their dating profile sends off strong Godbot vibes.

  22. GNG says:


    I'm glad to hear that veganism is regarded as unchristian since I am vegan myself. Another point in it's favour!!

    Godless not gormless

  23. GNG says:

    u into gettin stoned2? or u prefer to do the stonin?

    Godless not gormless

  24. Brianna says:

    After both our posts, I think I have a migraine! :-/

  25. Neuseline says:

    My eyes glazed over trying to decypher all the jumbled letters that are supposed to be English words in most of the above comments. The lack of written vowels is the trademark of Arabic, but I could not make any sense in that language either. No more, ﻣﻦ ﻓﻀﻠﻚ , mn fdlk.

  26. barriejohn says:

    Yes, there are indeed no proper vowels in these eastern languages, which rather begs the question: Why did they develop "text-speak" when they don't need to visit social networking sites due to the fact that their parents are the ones who find them their partners?

  27. barriejohn says:

    I'd make sure I kept my hands well out of the way at all times, GNG!

    (BTW There must be a Muslim BDSM equivalent of giver and taker. "Stoner" and "stonee" aren't very good. Anyone got any ideas?)

  28. GNG says:

    so, we aint evn met yet an u makin xcuses not to hav sex wiv me ok i can take a hint good luk in ur srch

  29. GNG says:

    In scotland, stonner would be most appropriate. Understand?

  30. Neuseline says:

    And their parents don't usually look afar either, just to another branch of the same family.

  31. barriejohn says:

    A Muslim boy wanted a mate,

    But wasn't allowed on a date.

    His cousin was looked up

    And very soon booked up

    By his mother; and that was his fate!

  32. Neuseline says:

    That's a good one. Did you make it up?
    My son is married to a Muslim, alas. I am pleased to say that she doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I wish she had ben married off to one of her cousins, but then she would not have been allowed to stay in Europe when her visa expired ……. I warned him, but would he listen?

  33. barriejohn says:

    Yes – I did come up with that one. I try to quote sources otherwise.

    Marriage to someone committed to a religious, philosophical or political ideology which you don't share is a recipe for disaster! Even worse is the situation of someone whose partner gets "hooked" by some such organization. I saw this many times whilst an evangeical – the sheer bewilderment that this person whom they thought they knew had now transmogrified into a complete stranger with whom they had absolutely nothing in common, and who was prepared to make no effort at all to bridge the gap or make any concessions whatsoever. It's very sad indeed.

  34. Dawn says:

    And being that your son married a muslim woman, he had to convert. According to sharia law, a muslim woman CANNOT marry a non-muslim man. But a muslim man can marry a non-muslim woman, because the children are automatically muslim when they are born because the father is muslim.

  35. Neuseline says:

    On the plus side: I turned my husband into an atheist. It only took about 30 years, but better late than never.

  36. barriejohn says:

    Well – at least he won't go to hell now when he dies!