A CYCLE lane “war” has broken out in the New York Hasidic enclave of Williamsburg.
The lanes, covering 14 blocks of the neighbourhood were sandblasted away last week after Jewish zealots complained that scantily-clad hipster cyclists were distracting them from holy thoughts.
A volatile mix: Hasid Jews and a scantily-clad cyclists. Inset: a repainted cycle lane
According to this report, cyclists attracted to the area made it difficult for the Hasids to obey religious laws forbidding them from staring at members of the opposite sex in various states of undress.
The riders, they kvetched, also disobeying the traffic regulations.
Furious over the removal of the lanes, cycling vigilantes immediately set about repainting them.
Two cycling advocates were apprehended by the Shomrim Patrol, a Hasidic neighborhood watch group, as they repainted a section of bike lane on Monday. When cops arrived, no one was arrested and no summonses were issued, police said.
Said neighborhood activist Isaac Abraham:
These people should apply for a job at the DOT. You put it on, they take it off – and they will probably do this again.
Abraham contends the bike lanes put children at risk of getting hit by cars or bicycles as they exited school buses.
A Department of Transportation spokesman said:
We will continue to work with any community on ways we can make changes to our streets without compromising safety.
A source close to Mayor Bloomberg said removing the lanes was an effort to appease the Hasidic community just before last month’s election.
But Baruch Herzfeld, who has tried to bridge the gap between hipsters and Hasids with a bike-rental program, said safety is not the issue so much as xenophobia.
They don’t want the hipsters in their neighborhood. It’s like in Howard Beach back in the day when they didn’t want black people in the neighborhood.
The Freethinker was founded in 1881 by GW Foote, an outspoken critic of religion. After the publication of 
December 9th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
What about those of us who are forced to look at religious zealots clad in stupid vestments, the wearing of which is calculated to underline the fact that they consider themselves to be more holy than the rest of us? Do we not have rights as well?
December 9th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
I can never understand why these people think that God wants them to bury their natural sexuality. To my mind scantily clad women on bicycles make the world a brighter, happier place.
December 9th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Why is it that the more “moral” someone is about sex, the more obsessed they are about it?
I see “scantily” clad cyclists all the time (though it’s a bit cold at the mo), it’s part of the scenery. But these lads are standing there with their tongues hanging out like sex starved teens.
December 9th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Interesting that they are claiming it is a safety issue. Yet every year, just before Passover, the Hasidic community in New York make hundreds of bonfires on street corners to burn Chametz. Each year causing numerous severe burns to adults and children when they get out of control.
Remarkable how religious communities are given such license.
December 9th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
Perfect logic….
I can’t control myself so the women need to be dressed in tents.
(ya I know they are not islam, but the logic is the same.)
Why don’t the deluded move to utah and live in a high cliff cave where they wont be tempted??? Oh I know being here they can force their mental schite onto the rest of us!!
If I lived there I’d be willing to volunteer to escort scanty clad women past the place just to watch the old farts faint. Actually I bet they would stand staring while drool dribbled down their chins.
December 9th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
So nothing about jewish women having to look at scantily clad men then? The cycling loonies around here tend to be middle aged men squeezed into lycra which leaves nothing to the imagination. Puts me right off my blaspheming!
Barriejohn, I agree about us having to look at religious dress – now that is very offensive to us.
December 9th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
So now that the cycles lanes are ‘gone’, I suppose the scantily clad cyclists (clad in exercise gear, not lingerie) will have to….just…ride…along in the street. Over what was once painted cycle lanes.. ?
I’m sorry, just what did these febrile numpties expect to achieve by erasing some road markings ?
December 9th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Offensive? Have a look at the bleeding, emaciated, tortured Jesus prominently displayed in the vicinity of many RC churches. Now that is what I call “offensive.”
December 9th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
If that picture is any indication, those women aren’t even what I’d call scantily clad. Sorry, I’m just not titillated. What about being holy makes a man easier to titillate?
December 9th, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Michael Trussler has hit the nail on the head: painting out the little symbols of cyclists on the roads doesn’t stop nubile nymphettes from exciting the randy rabbis one little bit!
December 9th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
Pwhoar! Look at the wheels on that one! *Sid James laugh*
December 9th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
What’s that thing the man has on his head? Looks strange to me. Why can’t they just not look at the cyclists who are benefitting from excercise. They don’t look particularly “sexually arousing” to me although attractive. This is about power, male religious power.
December 9th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
The cyclists should always repaint the lanes after sunset on Thursdays so that the religious bigots get maximum annoyance all day Fridays when they are not allowed even to lift the phone to call the police. Lazy bastards.
December 9th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
A Clothing “war” has broken out in the New York nudist colony of Woodstockville.
Nothing was done last week after devout naturists complained that bizarrely garbed religious extremists were distracting them from respectfully contemplating nature.
According to this report, fundamentalists attracted to the area made it difficult for the nudists to obey ethical principles preventing them from kicking the shit out of sanctimonious assholes who richly deserve it.
The cultists, they said, also disobeyed the rules of style. Fashion police were notified, but no arrests were made.
Furious over the donning of fetishwear, naturism enthusiasts immediately set about disrobing.
December 10th, 2009 at 12:05 am
I wonder, Barry, as they always say in Private Eye, whether there might be a photograph somewhere of a religious fundamentalist wearing an objectionable skirt of corduroy material?
December 10th, 2009 at 12:31 am
It’s gone beyond insanity now. Religious nuts seem to be able to get anyone and anything banned if they just cite their “religious beliefs”.
Here’s a clue; if your nutty “religious beliefs” require you to not look at other people then stay indoors or gouge your eyes out. The rest of the world shouldn’t have to suffer because of your chosen lifestyle.
December 10th, 2009 at 1:31 am
Doesn’t it say something in the Bible about gouging or plucking out your eyes rather than sin by ogling what you shouldn’t ogle!! They should do that rather than remove the cycling lines. And what about my religious aversion to seeing these heavy fur hats in summer that turn my stomach when I see them. Should they not be banned also!!!
December 10th, 2009 at 6:39 am
Scantily dressed cyclists made it difficult for the Hasids to obey religious laws; can’t someone help these people out by designing kosher blinkers? It used to work for horses, so why not for religious nuts? And I feel offended when confronted with people who consign anyone to hell who does’t share their form of idiocy! Can’t they be kept off the streets?
December 10th, 2009 at 9:25 am
*The cyclists should always repaint the lanes after sunset on Thursdays so that the religious bigots get maximum annoyance all day Fridays when they are not allowed even to lift the phone to call the police. Lazy bastards.*
@ Neuseline – thanks for that, where do Is end the bill for cleaning the coffee from my shirt and keyboard?
December 12th, 2009 at 12:32 am
I think the Solstice Cyclists should take a little trip to New York…