Caption this picture – and win a copy of ‘God Hates You – Hate Him Back’

THE picture below was sent to us by University of Sussex student Peter Brietbart, who discovered it on the net. He assures us that it’s not a Photoshop creation, but a genuine shot of a fella in Darth Vader gear who fell into step with a flock of ecclesiastical coves out for a stroll.

Provide us with a suitable caption for the picture, and you could win a copy of God Hates You – Hate Him Back, by C J Werleman.

There’s a prize of a year’s free subscription to the print edition of the Freethinker for the runner-up.

Closing date for entries is February 8.

Published at the end of 2009, God Hates You … makes the ultimate case for the claim that the God of the Bible is the most wicked character in the pages of history. With a wit as dry as a martini, and the cross-examination techniques of a seasoned lawyer, C J Werleman lays out all 66 chapters of the Bible to present an irrefutable argument that, indeed, God hates us all.

If you have never read or never fully understood the Bible then you can do no better than turn to this unique, comedic, 21st century summary of the greatest story ever sold, or in Werleman’s own words “never read”.

Immediately after its release, the book began receiving five-star ratings on Amazon. Here is just one of a number of rave reviews:

The biggest problem with the bible is that it is so God Damned boring! Not even the followers of the bible read the bible. In a day and age where literalistic interpretation of the bible has spawned a race of Super-Christians known as Baptists, Evangelicals and Creationists one great man aims to set the world straight on all things biblical.

For whatever reason, followers of the Abrahamic religions (Islam, Judaism and Christianity and all of their offshoots) have developed some ludicrous delusions that God is great, God is good, all loving, all caring and all powerful. The reality, as C J Werleman has discovered through his meticulous analysis of the Bible, is that all that god is is an uncaring, petty, jealous and violent. He’s more like an all powerful bitchy teen than a wise omnipotent being.

His acid wit and delightfully humorous analysis of Biblical testament will have your neck cramping from continuously nodding in agreement. He meticulously scrutinises the Bible, chapter by thrilling chapter, articulating the many contradictions and indeed misconceptions that the religious conveniently overlook. Ultimately, if there is a god, and it is the one described in the bible, then god help us all!

This is the best book you will ever buy. Buy one for yourself, one for your mother, one for your father, one for your siblings and most importantly, one for every priest you know.

Werleman, who witnessed first-hand the religiously-motivated terrorist atrocities in Bali in 2005, said:

The objective of the book is to provide the reader with a thorough understanding of the Bible, from end to end, while also demonstrating that the ‘God’ that people worship so readily and unquestioningly is a vengeful bully, with a monopoly on evil. Which I guess is primarily why the Devil had no reason to publish his own book.

He hopes that his approach of using the source of the creationists’ belief-system to make a compelling argument against worshipping such a malevolent patriarch can bridge the gap between superstitious belief and rational understanding by at least shaking believers out of their hypnotised state of relying on “faith over logic”.

He adds:

The best device we have for secularism or atheism is the Bible itself. When you have all the biblical assertions laid out in front of you, it is almost impossible to continue holding onto the beliefs created by a tribe of nomadic goat herders, who believed the shovel to be emergent technology! Essentially this book demystifies the Bible by using plain speak and humour. I show the reader what it is that pleases God: invariably baby killing, and ethnic cleansing. While also demonstrating that not only was Jesus an overtly racist false prophet, and not very nice to his mother, his biography was crudely hammered together by people who never met him.

When asked what he hoped to achieve with his book, C J replied:

I hope my book provides one small stepping stone on humanity’s journey away from ancient beliefs that retard social progress and promote human conflict rather than solidarity.

More recently, Werleman, who has an excellent blog, pointed out that:

Atheism is the fastest growing minority in the USA, and if current trends continue then agnostics, and atheists will be the majority by the year 2040. Once we are the majority then religion will have little or no say in deciding the social wellbeing of America through the political forum.

Once religion is removed from passing proposed bills in the respective houses of government then we will have a country that looks like the nations in Scandinavia – nations such as Sweden that have low religiosity but are ranked highest in terms of societal health. Societal health defined by low rates of crime, gender equality, access to education and health, high per-capita income, affordable housing, low teen-pregnancy, etc.

We have years of experience in determining what the theistic worldview looks like, and it looks like Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, and the Dark Ages. It looks like blocking stem-cell legislations; it looks like gender equality gaps; it looks like government (mostly men) determining a woman’s rights; it looks like the bombing of an abortion clinic; it looks like denying basic human rights to gay couples in love; it looks like the spread of AIDS; it looks like George W Bush; it looks like Benny Hinn; it looks like Jerry Falwell.

The United States of Scandinavia. This is my goal.

Read Richard Dawkins on the viciousness of God here and a bleating “he’d never attack Muslims in this way” here.
UPDATE: Feb 2 – We have just learned that Darth’s appearance occurred in the center of Reykjavi­k, the capital of Iceland. It is thought that Vader was actually a member of the only atheist group in the country – ‘Vantrú’ which literally means ‘disbelief’.
Here’s the video:

158 responses to “Caption this picture – and win a copy of ‘God Hates You – Hate Him Back’”

  1. Randy says:

    Luke, I am your father

  2. […] winner of our February  1 caption contest is Chris who submitted: Mind Control, extortion, the pursuit of power – Vader felt like an […]

  3. Colin says:

    May the farce be with you!

  4. dave mc says:

    vader says ; ‘phew,i was hoping i wasn’t overdressed for the new job , but i ain’t got nothin on these pimps,i better stay at the back’.

  5. dave mc says:

    forward thinking iceland has found both a way to rehabilitate vader and ensure the pious predators stay away from children.

  6. dave mc says:

    vader although evil overlord , knows the pecking order and quietly stands at the back like the new boy.

  7. Chris Mason says:

    Birds of a feather flock together.

  8. liam warner says:

    And the nominees for best supporting actor in a theatrical roll are……