WELL, according to a newly-launched “lifestyle magazine” for Muslims in Australia, baby kangaroos are born praying to Allah.
The cover of Hijrah magazine
Although it’s the cover story on the latest issue of Hijrah, and is entitled “How the Kangaroo was born Making Tesbeeh to Allah”, we were unable to access the article itself to discover the reasoning behind this mind-boggling revelation.
If anyone out there can provide the text, please send it to us.
The Australian Islamist Monitor says:
Since the dawn of time, animals have been both revered and demonised by humans. Some were viewed as bringing luck and others pestilence and other such ills. But this begs the question, what religious practices do our native Australian animals adhere to?
In the light of the Hijrah feature, it wonders:
Does this mean that all marsupials follow in Allah’s path from birth, or do they follow some other practice altogether?
One of the more amusing comments below the AIM post came from Red Rose:
A dog pictured "praying" in a Buddhist temple
The only animals I could imagine that might pray to Allah would be camels. Possibly indocrinated by early Afghan settlers. Other Aussie animals might worship Allah as there is a resemblence between male Mohammedans and male animals. They harbour a propensity to copulate with every female in sight and father hordes of offspring … I really don’t think Aussie animals worship Allah. They have more sense. They are not stupid.
By the way, the new magazine is appealing for contributions from Muslims across globe. In the light of the sheer barminess of its baby kangaroo feature, what articles do you suggest Hijrah should publish in future editions?
To the person submitting the funniest suggestion goes the prize of a year’s free subscription to the print edition of the Freethinker. Closing date for entries is February 11.
Hat tip: Dr Cancerman
The Freethinker was founded in 1881 by GW Foote, an outspoken critic of religion. After the publication of 
February 4th, 2010 at 10:44 am
The Sinful Gaze and how to Prevent it: Muslim Clerics Reveal New Hijabs for Female Kangaroos.
February 4th, 2010 at 11:25 am
According to the internet it’s supposed to be an article from Sept 09, but I can’t locate it!
http://issuu.com/crescenttimes.....tember2009
February 4th, 2010 at 11:53 am
Our cat used to spend an inordinate amount of time washing himself. He also had some rather vicious tendencies!
February 4th, 2010 at 12:20 pm
Clearly he was doing Wudu, Barriejohn. That, and his vicious nature, indicate that he entered the world with fundamentalist Islamic tendencies.
February 4th, 2010 at 12:40 pm
‘How citrus fruits, small pebbles and belly button fluff are created by allah for the express purpose of performing jihad against the infidels.’
By the way, I distinctly remember my RE teacher at school telling us with great authority that animals don’t have souls and can’t go to heaven. So it can’t be true about the kangaroos, can it. Because everybody knows that only christianity has the answers and that the rest of them are all deluded and making it up as they go along.
February 4th, 2010 at 2:57 pm
Barry: I think he belonged to the Miaow Miaow!
February 4th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Mad Mullah’s Muslim Moggy Miaowhammed Makes Mincemeat of Malicious Mice!
February 4th, 2010 at 3:11 pm
Wannabe Wallabies Jump to Join Jihad!
February 4th, 2010 at 3:14 pm
Wahabi Wallabies Willingly Wash Wudu Way.
That’ll have to do for now: I should be doing something useful really!
February 4th, 2010 at 3:23 pm
Bacon: The Tastiest Sin.
February 4th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Special Feature: Suicide bomber of the year awards.
February 4th, 2010 at 5:13 pm
Rog: “Unfortunately Ahmed could not be with us to collect his award today…”
February 4th, 2010 at 6:05 pm
Our saucy “page three” girls in the latest non see-through Burqas.
February 4th, 2010 at 7:04 pm
The fact that animals do not have any form of religion suggests that they are more intelligent than humans. Well some humans.
February 4th, 2010 at 9:01 pm
Jihadercise: Learn to fight the Infidel & stay trim for your husband at the same time!
February 4th, 2010 at 9:25 pm
The Foreskin: Allah’s least favourite body part.
or
Female Genital Mutilation for Fun and Prophet.
February 4th, 2010 at 9:29 pm
Wife Beating: How to tell when She’s had enough.
February 4th, 2010 at 9:35 pm
Australia’s best Prep schools: Which one should you send your new wife to?
February 4th, 2010 at 9:40 pm
Flame Retardant Burkas: Ensure your daughter’s wedding day goes ahead without tantrums.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/panorama.....204286.stm
February 4th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Sticks and/or stones? What is the best way to punish a cheating wife?
February 4th, 2010 at 10:13 pm
Mile High Fashion: How designer pants are exploding onto the Jihadi scene
or
Mile High Club: How to avoid being a damp squib in the underpants department.
February 4th, 2010 at 10:20 pm
Caught On Camera – The Funniest Beheading Blunders!
February 4th, 2010 at 10:39 pm
Teen Brides – is 14 too old?
February 5th, 2010 at 12:15 am
Thinking about remarrying? How best to let your other wives know…
February 5th, 2010 at 4:39 am
Do kagaroos have prayer rugs? Do they take time each day to pray toward Mecca? I have never heard of one packing around a Quran. And while humans require indoctination, head banging while reciting the Quran, these animals are instinctually born with the brainwash. Sadly, most of them will never experience the joy of wearing a suicide belt. Are there virgin kagaroos in heaven waiting to greet those rare martyrs, the ones who threw themselves in front of the infidel vehicles? Take that!!! I bent the shit out of your grill!!!! Allah be praised.
NeoWolfe
February 5th, 2010 at 10:15 am
Funk Monkey: hilarious
February 5th, 2010 at 2:23 pm
A “dear Abby” section for questions
Dear Mo
Cutting a earthworm in half, gives you two earthworms,
are they both Muslim, and if not which Earthworm is the
Muslim, the head or the arsehole?
Signed:
No muslims as fish Bait
Dear NMAFB
They are both muslims, because if you mix them up,
you can’t tell which one has is the brain and which
one is the arsehole. They both act exactly the same.
Mo
February 5th, 2010 at 8:07 pm
The Joy Of Sex, and how to ensure your wives never experience it.
February 6th, 2010 at 3:19 am
Jews: how they caused every problem in the world.
February 6th, 2010 at 6:11 pm
Planning an honour killing as a fun family event.