FRESH from his appearance on the inside of a Marmite jar, Jesus Christ’s latest cunning stunt was to appear as burnt bacon residue on a frying pan.
Toby Elles and his Jesus Crust pan
Yes folks, yet another example of pareidolia – except that in this case the image appears to have been deliberately created by 22-year-old Toby Elles, a bank worker from Salford in Lancashire.
Certainly, even Daily Mail readers aren’t buying Elles’ story that the messiah “miraculously” appeared when he fell asleep after tossing some bacon rashers in the pan – and tossing back some beers.
The tosser claims he woke up in a smoke filled lounge, and on checking the pan saw a face staring back at him.
What? No smoke detectors? Stupid boy!
Said the Halifax bank cashier:
It’s some kind of miracle. If it wasn’t for the smoke it could have been a very bad situation, perhaps someone’s looking over me.
• People shouldn’t poke fun, its clear to me that he obviously has learning difficulties, no wonder why some banks are in trouble 
• Definitely not Jesus, no halo. I reckon its Che Guevara or Cat Stevens.
• I’m sorry, but I dont believe this. I think he’s a liar and decided to get a little creativity with his frying pan.
Jesus in a Marmite lid
Marmite Jesus appeared last year in Ystrad, Rhondda, according to the Allen family.
Exclaimed Gatheth Allen, 37:
When I first looked at it I wasn’t sure, but when I moved it away from me it started coming out. I thought yeah, she’s right – that’s the image of Jesus.
Mrs Allen added:
People might think I’m nuts, but I like to think it’s Jesus looking out for us.
Hat Tip: BarrieJohn
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The Freethinker was founded in 1881 by GW Foote, an outspoken critic of religion. After the publication of 
March 12th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
Interesting the way the image of Jesus is so like that created and painted over the centuries. We have to assume, as seems not to have occured to this dumbfuck that Jesus, assuming he existed, chooses to be represented by paintings from artists in the past. Bit like the fundies who insist that he is white and speaks English.
March 12th, 2010 at 2:00 pm
A Jew appearing after bacon burned in a frying-pan? Too bad most Jews don’t buy Jesus; they could be having ham-sandwiches from now on, if the rabbis approved.
March 12th, 2010 at 2:43 pm
Don’t be so harsh on the fella. He was probs just hoping to make a few quid on ebay selling it to some fool who deserves to be parted from their cash. We’ve all thought about it.
March 12th, 2010 at 3:13 pm
It’s defo not Jesus: he didn’t have long hair!
http://www.baptist-city.com/Books1/Shorthair.html
(I wonder whether Steven Anderson has anything to say about this?)
March 12th, 2010 at 3:16 pm
You must watch this: for a moment I thought it was Ricky Gervais again!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoVLWrf5ZCs
March 12th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
When did Neil from The Young Ones grow a mustache?
March 12th, 2010 at 4:20 pm
Isn’t it amazing that “magical” images of Jesus always resemble the Mandylion of Edessa, painted in 525 CE, never Josephus’s description, quoted without dispute by all pre-Mandylian Christian apologists, that portrayed him as a bald hunchbacked dwarf with joined eyebrows, essentially a cross between Quasimodo and Rumpelstiltskin, “not even of honest human shape”, as Tertulian conceded in 207 CE.
See God, Jesus and the Bible: The Origin and Evolution of Religion, pages 258-259.
March 12th, 2010 at 4:21 pm
That was Nigel Planer, Harry. He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!
March 12th, 2010 at 4:36 pm
Thanks once again to Landover Baptists once again for giving us the benefit of their considerable expertise in this field!
http://www.landoverbaptist.org.....shair.html
March 12th, 2010 at 4:49 pm
@William Harwood. Extraodinary that. I really cannot imagine why.
March 12th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
This is very interesting, and covers some of the same ground as Dr Harwood:
http://www.jesuspolice.com/common_error.php?id=13
Sadly, it is nowhere near as entertaining as the page upon page of Christian sites that there are dealing with the same subject. I swear that the aforementioned Dr Jack Hyles, of Baptist City, has a book on offer containing TWO messages of his: Did Jesus Have Short Hair, and Is The Homosexual Sick Or Sinful? (What a truly fascinationg juxtaposition of ideas there! The mind truly boggles!!)
http://www.hylespublications.c.....-hair.html
BTW If you are perhaps in any doubt as to Dr Hyles’s thoughts on “The Homosexual”, just read this load of old cobblers!
http://www.jackhyles.com/unisex.htm
March 12th, 2010 at 5:02 pm
A rare case of a greasy politician being of some use.
March 12th, 2010 at 5:06 pm
jebus was short and bald? That explains SO much about christianity!
March 12th, 2010 at 5:15 pm
I posted a link to this site but it has disappeared again!
http://www.jesuspolice.com/common_error.php?id=13
It echoes much of what Dr Harwood has said.
March 12th, 2010 at 6:09 pm
The more of this the better. And the sillier the better. Let’s flood the market with tawdry pareidolia, enough so that eBay set up a specialist category.
March 12th, 2010 at 7:21 pm
Does anyone else think frauds shouldn’t work in state owned banks?
March 12th, 2010 at 7:50 pm
Our Christian Scientists have studied many phoyographs of our Lord and Savior and there can be no doubt; Jesus had a Godly Mullet.
March 12th, 2010 at 8:03 pm
Sister Talitha: according to your website, Jesus looked like George Bush!
http://www.landoverbaptist.org.....shair.html
March 12th, 2010 at 8:05 pm
Ash: perhaps pareidophiles shouldn’t be working in state-owned banks!!
March 12th, 2010 at 8:35 pm
Wouldn’t it be great if Mohammed appeared in the form of (Danish) bacon residue?
March 12th, 2010 at 8:36 pm
It is transparently obvious to any intelligent person that the Marmite image is genuine and that the frying pan image is forged. Of course in the real world it makes not the slightest difference either way. Good luck to this guy if he makes a killing by selling his pan to a gullible idiot.
March 12th, 2010 at 10:16 pm
No way. Jesus wouldn’t have parted his hair in the middle like a hippie.
March 12th, 2010 at 11:02 pm
Further to Dr Harwood, there is a book by Michael Moorcock called ‘Behold The Man’ which portrays Jesus as a gibbering hunchback.
March 13th, 2010 at 2:51 am
My review of Michael Moorcock’s “Behold the Man” can be found on pages 236-237 of THE GOD PSYCHOSIS. Let me quote a couple of sentences:
Moorcock imagines that Jesus was descended from King David. He is unaware that there was no such village as Nazareth until long after Jesus’ death. He believes that the “twelve apostles” really existed. Such inaccuracies are only to be expected [from a non-historian], and do not invalidate Moorcock’s “alternative history.” The basic idea, that the carpenter’s son from Galilee, the itinerant preacher, the man crucified, and the man later seen alive, were not all the same person, has been speculated many times. But Moorcock tells it better than most.
March 13th, 2010 at 12:22 pm
It is undoubtedly a genuine likeness of Scottish Monte though what he’s doing in a frying pan in England is beyond me.
http://www.pbase.com/mad_monte1/beards
March 13th, 2010 at 8:47 pm
Judging from the facial expression, someone must have hit him in the face with the frying pan, and, as with the Shroud of Turin, the imprint has been left on it!