‘Allah’ pig mortifies Muslims

A DANISH pig farmer is in hiding today after receiving death threats from Muslim groups who accused him of branding a pig with the Arabic word “Allah”.

Gerulf  Toksvig, 53, who has a farm near Aarhus, caused outrage this week when he invited reporters to examine the “miracle” markings on his prize piglet, Paprika.

Paprika the pig with her 'Allah' markings

Said Toksvig:

At first the markings were very indistinct, but over the last few weeks they have become a lot clearer. I had no idea that what they signified, but a farmhand suggested that it looked like the Arabic sign for Allah.

Toksvig added:

I checked on the internet, and sure enough, it IS Allah.

Asked why the markings should appear on a pig, of all creatures, when pork is strictly forbidden to Muslims, Toksvig replied:

Maybe Allah had a change of mind. Surveys have shown that Danes eat the most pork per capita in the world. Also that Danes are the happiest people on the planet. There has to be a correlation between these findings.

He added:

Perhaps Allah wants Muslims, who are generally a right sour bunch, to lighten up a little. I think a bacon sandwich now and again would make them a lot less grumpy.

But a spokesman for the Danish Muslim Society, Mohammed Kaseem, dismissed the Priscilla’s markings as “a crude hoax”, clearly part of a “Zionist/homosexual/feminist conspiracy”.

Wrinkling his nose, Kaseem snorted:

I saw this pig up close – but not TOO close. From where I was standing it looked to me like a branding of some sort. Or a tattoo or whatever. It’s definitely man-made and NOT a sign from Allah.

He added:

Pork is one of Denmark’s biggest exports, and I believe this a part of a conspiracy to infiltrate huge Islamic markets by convincing gullible Muslims that pig meat is halal.

He added:

This is a blasphemy. Every Muslim knows that pig flesh is harmful to human health. Pigs – like Jews and Christians and Hindus – have very low personal and moral standards.

Zakir Naik declared porkers 'shameless' after studying their sex lives

Islamic scientists have proved that the pig is the most shameless animal on the face of the earth. Islamic expert Zakir Naik has rightly pointed out that ‘it is the only animal that invites its friends to have sex with its mate’.

Naik also said that in America, most people consume pork. Many times after dance parties, they have swapping of wives; ie many say ‘you sleep with my wife and I will sleep with your wife’. If you eat pigs then you behave like pigs.’ Naik is a world authority on such matters, and I believe every word he says.

Kaseem referred journalists to another Islamic expert, Rashid Shamsi.

Writing in the Muslim World League Journal,  (October 1999), Shamsi said:

The pig is naturally lazy and indulgent in sex. It is dirty, greedy and gluttonous. It dislikes sunlight and lacks the spirit and will to fight. A man becomes what he eats. Consumption of swine-flesh creates lowliness in character and destroys moral and spiritual faculties in a man.

Kaseem grunted:

What use are  Muslim pussies who lack the will to fight or set fire to flags and people and stuff? I detect the hand of Zionists and homosexuals and lesbians and women’s rights agitators behind this hateful conspiracy, because they will benefit most from a docile Islamic Ummah.

Asked why pig-eating Danes were not only the happiest people in the world, but also claim to be among the healthiest, Kaseem snapped:

They were probably drunk when the surveys were done.