YOU can always rely on the mad, mad word of Islam to produce the wackiest stories in the world – but for sheer lunacy this month Iran beats all competition.
In a defiant break from Islamic tradition, this shameless Iranian woman adds a splash of scarlet to her black bin-bag. The brazen hussy wants locking up!
First we had a crazy cleric – Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi – blaming earthquakes in Iran on female “immodesty”, and now we have a police decree banning SUNTANS. But the ban applies only to women.
Tehran police chief Brig Gen Hossien Sajedinia – head of what some are now calling the Taniban – has warned that all women sporting a tan will be arrested and imprisoned because the look violates the “spirit of Islamic law.” Thus, any woman that looked like a “walking mannequin” will be punished.
He said that the Iranian public expects the police to act firmly and swiftly against any social misbehaviour committed by women as well and men – particularly those who defy “Islamic values”. He cited some areas in northern Tehran where suntanned women and young girls look like walking mannequins.
Sajedinia thundered:
We are not going to tolerate this situation, and will first warn those found in this manner and then arrest and imprison them.
The warning is the latest move by Iranian authorities who want a more “radical” Islam implemented.
Some analysts said that the new order for women to dress more modestly is part of a wider campaign by the government to quash the opposition movement.
Earlier this month, it was reported that the head of Saudi Arabia’s powerful religious police fired the chief of its Mecca branch for advocating the mixing of the sexes.
Ahmed bin Qassim al-Ghamidi’s suggestion in a newspaper interview that men and women should be left to mingle freely directly clashed with a key objective of the force.
The religious police, under the control of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, are charged with enforcing Saudi Arabia’s strict interpretation of Islam, which prohibits men and women who are not immediate relatives from mingling.
Al-Ghamidi caused outrage when he said in the interview.
Mixing (between the sexes) is just natural and there is no good reason to ban it.
He was dismissed soon after, according to an official from the force who spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not permitted to talk to journalists.
According to this report, the remarks by such a high ranking member of the religious police, who is also a top cleric, revealed a surprising shifting of views on the gender segregation ban at the heart of the hard-line establishment tasked with enforcing the restriction.
Zealous officers routinely jail unrelated men and women found sitting together in coffee shops, restaurants or other public places.
The policemen also patrol public places to ensure women are covered and not wearing makeup, that shops close five times a day for Muslim prayers, and that men go to the mosque and worship.
The force’s new chief, Abdul-Aziz bin Humain, had been billed as a reformer, and promised a new tone after being appointed last year. But his dismissal of al-Ghamidi shows there are limits to how far he is willing to go.
Hat tip: Alan
The Freethinker was founded in 1881 by GW Foote, an outspoken critic of religion. After the publication of 
April 30th, 2010 at 8:30 am
How do they know a women’s got a tan if all the women are covered head to toe in a tent? Has someone been peeking? Off with his head!
April 30th, 2010 at 9:00 am
The Chief Clerics will have the last call in all tan infringements of course and may need to make spot checks you understand.
April 30th, 2010 at 9:22 am
And what about this statement, Sue?
We are not going to tolerate this situation, and will first warn those found in this manner and then arrest and imprison them.
How the bloody hell can you “warn” someone who has a tan? What are they supposed to do – go home and take it off immediately?
April 30th, 2010 at 9:32 am
@Susan. Perhaps they will carry out detailed bodily inspections similar to those of the priestly witchfinders of christianity. They looked for devil’s marks and the examination was thorough and, of course, included the genital areas of comely young women.
April 30th, 2010 at 9:39 am
What about people with naturally dark skin? Are all Iranian women going to be photographed towards the end of winter for a baseline reading, to compare with if they’re suspected later? Will Iranian physicists be diverted from their weapons programme to developing tanometers? Can’t be all bad, then.
April 30th, 2010 at 9:56 am
I think Allah made a mistake in inventing women. Nothing but trouble.
April 30th, 2010 at 10:22 am
Great cartoon in this week’s Private Eye, folks. (Only £1.50, and worth every penny!)
Notice (in France): GOVERNMENT TO BAN FULL-FACE VEILS.
One Muzzie to another: “I don’t let her out of the house anyway”!!
April 30th, 2010 at 10:27 am
The front cover is very funny too:
UNBEATABLE COALITION DEAL!
Vote for one party…and get one free!!
April 30th, 2010 at 11:13 am
The holey rollers on this planet are on a binge! Apart from the difficulties in upholding this shit-pile of ban as described already, there are health benefits to a slight tan. Many of these covered women suffer from vitamine D deficiency, which can cause osteomalacia, among other things. The funny thing is, that women who get this because their religion doesn’t allow them to wear a bikini every now and then, do go to hospitals to be treated! This doesn’t make sense to me: your god forbids you to expose yourself, however slightly, you do and get sick, which must be your god’s will. So why bother going to see a doctor?
April 30th, 2010 at 11:47 am
Har, one of the most distressing consequences of Muslim women covering up completely is that their offspring are so deficient in vitamin D that there is now an upsurge of rickets in the UK – decades after we almost managed to eliminate the condition. This, of course, puts an added strain on the NHS. But what do these people care, so long as they live their lives in lickspittle adoration of their damned make-believe Allah?
See http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1154211.stm
April 30th, 2010 at 11:50 am
As Brian from family guy would say”unfreakinbelievable”.What’s with the watch on the outside? Is this so she doesn’t have to roll her cuff back and risk exposing her forearm? She could get a part in Chainsaw 111 if/when they make another,Rasheeda Leatherface.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:57 am
So, if old holy mo the all powerful didn’t want the women to show their faces, why did he give them one?
April 30th, 2010 at 12:26 pm
Because he was too busy giving his niece one!
April 30th, 2010 at 1:43 pm
Those Iranian women better clean their asses very thorougly after moving their bowels. Because the religeous police will stick their nosy noses anywhere you know.
April 30th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
When will these amoeba-brains GROW UP!?
Not in my lifetime, that’s for sure.
-Warning someone for having a tan… -Very funny indeed!
April 30th, 2010 at 11:24 pm
Well, I may be wrong, but Iran’s most recent posturing, militarily, that they are too “mighty to attack” reminds me a lot of Sadam Hussein’s promise of “the mother of all wars”. My point would be that as they tighten their islamic grip, the more the westernized thinkers get PISSED!!! The more revisionists they arrest, the more riots there are on the street. And when the brink is reached, when most western cultures are in agreement that Iran is a state with which one cannot reason, the attack will not come from NATO, it will come from Israel. They already have their finger sweating on the trigger.
It’s not a bright scenario, but once the score is “two sky scrapers in New York” and “THREE shitstomped muslim countries” maybe the towelheads will begin to wonder if their almighty pedophile prophet is really on their side. Wakeup call!!!!!
NeoWolfe
May 1st, 2010 at 1:00 am
“Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice”
George Orwell himself couldn’t have come up with anything more orwellian sounding
May 1st, 2010 at 6:23 am
What a bloody wretched thing to be – an Iranian lady. Could life be more miserable for them? I should think they have greater concerns than tanned complexions.