LATEST addition to the wacky world of truly tacky religious crap is the Jesus Cookie, yours for just $16.00 (you get three dozen to the box).
What’s special about Jesus Cookies are their Bible-based ingredients:
• The coconut represents the straw in baby Jesus’ bed
• The spices represent the gifts from the wise men
• The sugar represents his sweet presence
• The black jellybeans represent sin
• The red jellybeans represent Christ’s blood shed for us
• The yellow jellybeans represent forgiveness for our sins
• The white jellybeans represent that through Him we are cleansed of our sins
• The green jellybeans represent God’s jealousy
• The oats and flour represent that man does not live by bread alone
All that’s missing are wooden splinters that represent Jesus’ crucifixion, and a the odd nail or two which would fast-track you into the arms of ever-lovin’ Jesus.
Not since discovering the “Lookin’ Good for Jesus” collection of cosmetics have I laughed so hard. But that particular product had to be withdrawn in Singapore a couple of years ago after complaints from Catholics, who – as we all know – have a particular aversion to tacky representations of the Christian religion.
A leading retailer in Singapore, according to the BBC, was forced to ditch the cosmetics range when outraged biscuit-munchers complained that the marketing was disrespectful, full of sexual innuendo and trivialised Christianity.
“Lookin’ Good for Jesus” had been on sale at three Topshop outlets in the Asian city state.
The products included a “Virtuous vanilla” lip balm and a “Get Tight with Christ” hand and body cream, featuring a picture of Christ flanked by two adoring women.
Outraged Catholic accountant Grace Ong, 24, wailed:
Why would anyone use religious figures to promote vanity products? It’s very disrespectful and distasteful.
A spokesman for the Wing Tai company, which runs Topshop’s outlets in Singapore, told the newspaper it did not want to offend its customers, and immediately withdrew the product, produced by the US-based company, Blue Q.
The good news is that “Lookin’ good” is still being sold by Blue Q on the internet. I doubt whether this is a Christ-centred company, as its other products include “Let’s pretend I give a shit and leave it at that” hot cinnamon gum and “Wash Away Your Sins” anti-bacterial towelettes.
The Freethinker was founded in 1881 by GW Foote, an outspoken critic of religion. After the publication of 
June 16th, 2010 at 9:52 am
Does this mean that if they make one that’s missing any yellow jellybeans it’s blasphemy?
June 16th, 2010 at 10:03 am
For those xtians of a more playful nature (if that isn’t a contradiction in terms), you may also wish to invest in this delightful ‘Jesus Action Figure’.
http://www.play.com/Gadgets/Ga.....s+and+Dads
Or for those who like their toys a bit more hard-core fire and brimstone, there’s always the ‘Moses Action figure’.
http://www.spertusshop.org/mos.....r-293.html
Enjoy!
June 16th, 2010 at 10:06 am
Jesus got quite the gut there.
June 16th, 2010 at 10:35 am
I always thought that the staple food of Christians was Barm Cakes.
June 16th, 2010 at 10:41 am
I know I’ve posted a link to this before, but I couldn’t resist it!
http://homepages.sover.net/~hk.....enson.html
June 16th, 2010 at 11:42 am
Any nuts in there to make an obvious representation? All that sugar and spice sounds quite rich, too, if they want to include the church’s enormous taxpayer-sustained wealth.
June 16th, 2010 at 12:32 pm
Believe it or not, THIS is marked as “Teaching Resources” for RE!
http://www.schooltrain.info/re.....n_food.htm
June 16th, 2010 at 1:02 pm
Barry: You shouldn’t get me started – I’ve got work to do!
http://christiancomforts.com/
June 16th, 2010 at 2:28 pm
Jelly beans? In cookies? I think that’s pretty close to your barm cakes, right there. Even Girl Scouts don’t make those, that I’ve seen anyway. Also, it’s funny that the oat and flour would represent that man does NOT live by bread alone, since that’s, you know, bread. I’d think all the OTHER stuff would show that man doesn’t live by bread alone, but then again, I guess I’m just some atheist jerk who doesn’t get circular reasoning. I know, I’ll leave it up to the Aggies (who, yes, do try to hammer screws occasionally).
June 16th, 2010 at 2:35 pm
Just in time for Everybody Bake Jesus Day, too!
June 16th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
I’m visiting Singapore in december so if anybody wants me to bring back any christian shite please send me cash.
http://www.cafepress.co.uk/+religious+ornaments
June 16th, 2010 at 3:29 pm
keijo wrote:
Let warm word of God warm your cool heart to love in fire and new passion that worship him our Lord in gladness and in thanksgiving and enjoy with peace and harmony and help to our neighbors salvation,thanks and bless and pray, keijo sweden
Thursday, November 12, 2009, 12:47 PM
Entry in the guestbook of the christian comforts website, Barriejohn’s link.
Says it all really, doesn’t it.
June 16th, 2010 at 4:30 pm
I imagine that would be tastier than those wafers that catholics get.
June 16th, 2010 at 5:33 pm
Store-bought cookies? Jelly beans?
Make your own on July 3.
http://nirmukta.com/2010/06/16.....ook-event/