THE leader of the world’s largest paedophile ring will be in Britain next month – and purveyors of crappy Catholic goods are hoping to make a killing with a range of monumentally awful souvenirs.
The online Papal Visit store, for example, is offering a baseball cap, a jacket and a range of T-shirts bearing Ratzi’s sinister visage and the motto of the historic trip – Heart speaks unto heart.
One of the shirts, costing £20, can be customised to include the name of the pilgrim’s local church.
According to this report, also on sale are a flag and an £8 electronic flashing candle, which can be waved during the open-air events just as music fans hold cigarette lighters aloft at festivals.
The similarity between the religious souvenirs and the memorabilia sold by touring rock bands was noted by some commentators on the internet.
Sophia Deboick, a researcher at the University of Liverpool, wrote on Twitter about one item, a black T-shirt showing three pictures of the Pope inside a circular design:
I can’t believe how metal this T-shirt is! Â You really would have to look twice to realise it isn’t some metal band. I like it!
More traditional items include bookmarks, fridge magnets, keyrings, mugs, plates and a glossy programme.
For the particularly devout there are candles, rosary beads and crosses.
Anti-pope t-shirts seen in Australia in 2008, and the NSS t-shirt currently on offer
But there is also a brisk trade in unofficial merchandise, with a website called Catholics With Attitude selling hooded tops bearing slogans such as “Vatican All Stars”, “Team Benedict” and “Top of the Popes”.
What we need to see now are budding entrepreneurs taking a leaf from the National Secular Society’s book, and start flogging anti-pope products. The NSS is selling T-shirts bearing the message “Pope Nope”, but when the evil old bastard visited Australia in 2008Â papists were treated to the sight of a wide range of irreverent items.
Bryce pictured with his fake popemobile
One of the most imaginative anti-pope manifestations was a fake popemobile, which showed Ratzinger in a glass box atop a silver Mazda. The figure of the pontiff, complete with gold satellite phone, bore the words “broadband link to my invisible friend” – and it landed its creator, Ian Bryce, in hot water. Police were not amused, and issued Bryce, 59, with a defect notice for:
Having a roof ornament likely to distract motorists.
Bryce was also hit with an $81 fine and charged with using a vehicle that did not comply with standards.
The State Government had passed laws to give police extraordinary powers to arrest and fine people for “creating annoyance” to pilgrims during World Youth Day. However parts of these laws were overturned by the Federal Court following widespread protest.
You can see a slideshow of truly tacky pope souvenirs here.
Hat tip: PaulEd
The Freethinker was founded in 1881 by GW Foote, an outspoken critic of religion. After the publication of 
August 6th, 2010 at 8:50 am
Well, if you will permit me, I have my own caricature of Pope Ratz on sale as a t-shirt here:
http://www.redbubble.com/peopl.....-tour-2010
The text on his hat says “UK Tour 2010 – What Happens in Church Stays in Church”
August 6th, 2010 at 10:43 am
Where do we get the vuvuzelas then?
(PS: Isn’t it about time that that awful word “irreverent” was consigned to the dustbin alongside “blasphemous”, Barry?)
August 6th, 2010 at 10:56 am
Hah, nobody does garish tat quite like the catholics.
Here’s a few anti-Pope things I found:
http://www.zazzle.co.uk/the_re.....6186165355
http://www.zazzle.co.uk/nope_t.....0359022700
http://www.zazzle.co.uk/satan_.....8040722955
@barriejohn – I think you can get vuvuzelas on Amazon!
August 6th, 2010 at 11:00 am
Shame the nope Pope t-shirts aren’t bigger. Some of us need a little extra.
August 6th, 2010 at 11:24 am
Say Nope to the Pope, he’s a dope -
As much use as that soap on a rope!
The message is clear
On a T-shirt I hear:
So just show what you think of the bloke!
August 6th, 2010 at 11:25 am
the bt3a challenge is taking the piss of it. Pretty funny stuff.
August 6th, 2010 at 11:58 am
the pope’s on his way to our isle
it’ll cost us a hell of a pile
tho his victims all die
and the altar boys cry
the old toff lives it up in grand style
You can see the pope on the telly
with his dress and his overfed belly
he knows just what you need
so your rectum won’t bleed
when he comes he will bring KY jelly
i better quit
August 6th, 2010 at 12:04 pm
@Barriejohn
Around the time of Ratzy’s predecessor’s visit, I saw an actual soap pope on a rope for sale in a shop in Guisbrorough. Whether it was meant as reverent or irreverent I don’t know.
August 6th, 2010 at 12:07 pm
Love that ‘popemobile’!
Wonder if the Top Gear guys could be talked into running a popemobile demolition derby on a figure of 8 stock-car track – kind of thing they did racing caravans or people carriers. I know Clarkson’s no fan of the clergy, and it would look hilarious.
August 6th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Religion a lucrative marketing tool; who woulda thunk it? Still no sign of ‘I Got Molested By An Unpunished Catholic Priest And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt’ garments, then?
August 6th, 2010 at 12:53 pm
Stuart W, that is the best laugh I’ve had in ages. I’d love a t-shirt like that.
August 6th, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Can I get a bobble-head ratzi, blessed by the pope’s office, for my dashboard? I’m sure that would make me a lot safer when driving I-95…
remember folks – it’s all about money
August 6th, 2010 at 1:23 pm
You wouldn’t possibly be alluding to this, by any chance, I suppose, Brian?
http://supertremendous.com/Gal.....-1864.html
August 6th, 2010 at 2:31 pm
The experience of tat is grounded in Lourdes; long a junk and infection source. However, as an example of the grasping, greedy and shallow mindset of the RC Church you really could not do better than the examples of this rubbish. While claiming access to the transcendental, to divine profundities they offer this utter crap. Their witless followers seem ready to buy it. Hardly surprising as religious belief is based on ignorance and the idea that believing some priest is a short cut to knowledge and avoids the inconvenience of serious reading and analysis.
August 6th, 2010 at 5:41 pm
I followed a link from RD.net to an article about poor sales of tickets for the Ratty show in Scotland. More than half of the tickets distributed to RC parishes have been returned unsold.
The comment thread beneath the article soon descends into a slanging match between the sane and the RCC apologists. Some-one at the RD blog asked what the evil old goat would have to do before these people got it, invade Poland? revive the inquisition? sit in a big chair laughing maniacially while stroking a white cat?
Of course the inquisition is still around and has just been re-branded and they have suspended the use of torture for the time being because they wouldn’t be able to get away with it.
August 6th, 2010 at 6:26 pm
Stonyground: As religionuts are delighted to have people lose jobs, be ostracised, children excluded from schools the likelihood is that they would be ready to move in with far more severe punishments if they could. For evidence you could look at the severe beatings handed out in their schools and care home, the appalling abuse of girls by nuns in their laundries in Ireland. We are dealing here with savage and pitiless devils once they get the power.
Incidentally, that baseball cap slogan “Heart shall speak unto Heart” is a typical religious ploy. It is meaningless, even as a metaphor. The intention is to suggest some profundity, some charitable approach but it depends on an unexamined assumption.
August 6th, 2010 at 8:25 pm
Here’s my t-shirt (I hereby waive all copyright):
His Holiness the Pope
The “Lock Up Your Children” Tour 2010
Edinburgh 16 September
Glasgow 16 September
London 17 September
London 18 September
Birmingham 19 September
“And Ye Shall Rape What You Sow”
August 6th, 2010 at 8:39 pm
Does anyone remember the Adolf Hitler European Tour T-shirts?
http://www.kinclobber.co.uk/ac.....nTour.html
Maybe someone should knock up a Ratty version, “Satan’s Little Helper Tour” etc etc.
As for the Cat-Tat, I’m all for the unofficial entrepreneurs cashing in, three-wheeled van and all. Part of my business involves flogging cheap tat for shop counters and the mark-up is tremendous. I wonder can I sell a line of rosary-style anal beads or does Benny have copyright? Ratzi Hallowe’en masks, they’ll do.
August 6th, 2010 at 9:37 pm
Never mind the soap, what about a ‘Pope on a Rope’ design, with Ratzy, noose and all in black silhouette with just the ruby slippers picked out in red?
August 6th, 2010 at 10:34 pm
No, I hadn’t seen the Hitler T-Shirt before, Broadsword, and it’s brilliant! There was, however, supposed to have been a Pope dildo (looks a bit dodgy to me). Barry might like to look into the possibilites further, though, as I am sure that there are big profits to be made here! The video in this link is well worth watching, but you are forewarned to have your sick bags at the ready!!
http://crabbieshollywood.blogs.....ducts.html
August 7th, 2010 at 12:29 am
How about my original sign (or t-shirt or billboard)?
With Friends Like God, Who Needs Enemas?
August 7th, 2010 at 5:13 am
God, tell me about Cattlick tat. My brother-in-law made the grievous mistake of marrying into a family of devout bead-twirlers. They’re like someone took the very cliche of a bunch of superstitious pig-ignorant eejits and gave them Frankensteinish life. His gorilla-like mother-in-law makes regular pilgrimages to Lourdes, spending a fortune on “holy” water that gets splashed about during their family’s monotonously regular christenings. And their living-room walls are like some sort of garish papist dungeon of bad taste.
August 7th, 2010 at 9:04 am
Howsabout a Ratty sex doll. Has after all been fucking everybody else for years.
August 7th, 2010 at 9:45 am
Ratty flogging bling:
http://www.huge-entity.com/blogger/Pope.jpg
And the Virgin Mary sex doll:
http://www.heaven666.org/holy-pussy-40958.php
August 7th, 2010 at 11:48 am
MrGronk: Many of us have them – religionuts linked to us. I have one in the USA. Nasty bit of work who insisted that if I met “this wonderful pastor” he would “explain everything to you and you will see where you are wrong.” Funny, yes? If anyone was going to see where they were wrong it was going to be the pastor. The meeting did not occur. She decided that your “attitude is wrong and I don’t want to embarass him.”