Global warming blamed on The Gays

THANKS to the activities of early Christian missionaries, inhabitants of the Pacific Islands were forced to ditch their indigenous beliefs, and adopt Christianity instead.

Today, for example, religion is said on this website to be:

One of the most important aspects of Samoan culture, to the extent that it is incorporated in Samoa’s motto: Samoa is founded on God.

All this Christianity has made some of the people of the South Pacific stupid – very stupid indeed as evidenced by a claim at a climate change conference in Samoa earlier this month that homosexuals are to blame for global warming.

In 2009 Samoa suffered a severe tsunami

The claim was made by church ministers during the Oceanic Conference on Creativity and Climate Change hosted by the University of the South Pacific.

The accusation prompted one exasperated attendee USP student, Shaiza Janif, to say:

We need to educate our ministers and not turn this into an agenda.

Details of exactly how the ministers think homosexuals are pumping more CO2 into the atmosphere, thereby trapping heat around the planet, driving up the average temperature and causing massive economic and environmental dislocation are scant.

The Register, which carried this story under the hilarious headline “Samoan clerics finger homosexuals over global warming”, opined:

It may be that the clerics are understandably worried about rising levels of sex tourism in Samoa fuelled by cheap air travel and consequent rising energy consumption, though why this would be a gay-only problem is a mystery. But we suspect their latching onto climate change as a consequence of gayness is informed by a more biblical sense of cause and effect.

One commenter on the report said:

I don’t see why adulterers, divorcees, Jews, Muslims, gypsies, the mentally disabled, re-formed 1970s and 1980s pop bands, telecommuters, daytime soap actors or people who think that high-tech air fresheners will make their sad, lonely, loveless marriages better should get a free pass.

Hat tip: Rog