US Army veteran Marie Exley is on a mission – to tell the world that the countdown to Jesus’ return has begun, and that we have fewer than 137 days left before the mythical Son of God makes an apocalyptic reappearance.
Marie Exley
And Exley warns us not to use the time left to party.
The numpty, a veteran of two deployments in Iraq, said:
A lot of people might think, ‘The end’s coming, let’s go party’. But we’re commanded by God to warn people. I wish I could just be like everybody else, but it’s so much better to know that when the end comes, you’ll be safe.
Exley, according to this report, is part of a lunatic movement of Christians loosely organised by radio broadcasts, websites, and independent churches who have convinced themselves that the end of the world will begin on May 21, 2011.
To get the word out, they’re using billboards, leaflets and other methods to get the message out in cities from Bridgeport, Connecticut to Little Rock, Arkansas. Mission groups are even travelling in countries from Latin America to Africa to spread the news outside the US.
In August, Exley left her home in Colorado Springs, Colorado, to work with the Oakland, California-based Family Radio Worldwide, the independent Christian ministry whose leader, a mad old prune called Harold Egbert Camping, has calculated the May 21 date based on his reading of the Bible.
She is organising travelling columns of vehicles carrying the message from city to city, “a logistics challenge that her military experience has helped solve”. The vehicles are scheduled to be in five North Carolina cities between now and the second week of January, but Exley will shortly be gone: overseas, where she hopes to eventually make it back to Iraq.
I don’t really have plans to come back. Time is short.
Allison Warden and her Christ car
Another deluded nutter who’s leapt onto the Apocalypse 2011 bandwagon is Allison Warden, of Raleigh, Â North Carolina, who has been helping organise the End of Days campaign through a website, We Can Know. She has the message plastered all over her car. In an absolutely priceless quote, she said:
If May 21 passes and I’m still here, that means I wasn’t saved. Does that mean God’s word is inaccurate or untrue? Not at all.
The Freethinker was founded in 1881 by GW Foote, an outspoken critic of religion. After the publication of 
January 4th, 2011 at 11:54 am
Why can’t she party and warn people at the same time? on May 21st while in bed with a guy partying she can always scream out to the lord “Jesus Im coming”
January 4th, 2011 at 11:58 am
Well, they’re not going to need their worldly goods after this date then are they,so I take it they’re giving everything away?
No, thought not.
January 4th, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Well, if that’s the day we get rid of all these morons, I’m all for it!
January 4th, 2011 at 12:24 pm
Oh dear. There’s a Youtube video of her for the Iraq and Afghanistan Veteran’s Association where she talks about having PTSD. There’s another video of her being interviewed by CNN – she was a “combat broadcast journalist” (?) She certainly has gotten a lot of media attention.
What this woman needs is more psychological care! Cripes. Aren’t her Facebook friends concerned that her profile likes books called “We are Almost There” and “Time Has an End”?
I want to see a follow up article on her that pinpoints where she picked up these crazy ideas. The military has a problem with evangelist loons that sorely needs addressing.
January 4th, 2011 at 1:01 pm
The media need to make it their mission in life to interview her on 22 May.
January 4th, 2011 at 1:04 pm
It’s all in the casual phrase “I wish I could be like everyone else”
This is a delusion of superior wisdom against all evidence. I could laugh at it if it wasn’t for the fact that this fool and her contemporaries are spreading alarm across the world and hooking people who will be convinced by a sophisticated and well organised campaign into thinking their lives are over and that their children have no future.
I can’t help but wonder if the various forces who are conspiring to keep Iraq and neighbouring countries firmly in the bronze age realise what an ally they have in Ms Exley? They may be reading different languages from the songsheet but the song is essentially the same.
January 4th, 2011 at 1:12 pm
Exley quote: “but it’s so much better to know that when the end comes, you’ll be safe.” No dear, not safe but dead! Just think what a wonderful place our planet would be if all the religious were in fact “carried” off on the 21st.
I suggest a mass trolling of the “end times” type web-sites on the 22nd May with comments like: still here then?
January 4th, 2011 at 1:14 pm
And the atheists shall inherit the earth!
January 4th, 2011 at 1:46 pm
So she won’t mind signing all her wordly goods over to me, then, post-dated to May 22nd…
January 4th, 2011 at 1:52 pm
If May 21 passes and I’m still here, that means I wasn’t saved. Does that mean God’s word is inaccurate or untrue? Not at all.
I saw it coming. They know it’s not going to happen and already they’ve started spinning the failure. But it won’t be that easy, Allison, when on May 22nd, to your dismay, you learn that nobody was “saved.”
January 4th, 2011 at 2:01 pm
Bullshit. I’ll bet a weeks pay that she wouldn’t give me all of her stuff since she won’t be needing it anyways.
January 4th, 2011 at 2:07 pm
On May 22, the End Times nutters will publish convoluted excuses for getting the date wrong. If the history of the Millerites is any example, they will go through at least two more iterations of numerological flimflam before giving up and announcing that God doesn’t want us to know the exact date of Armageddon beforehand.
January 4th, 2011 at 2:11 pm
And I thought Apocalypse 2011 was yet another director’s cut!
January 4th, 2011 at 2:21 pm
Downside: Think of all those poor soldiers in Iraq if Exley makes it back.
Upside: There are some car body shops that have work lined up for May 22nd.
January 4th, 2011 at 2:21 pm
These people are going to look really stupid, or at least more stupid than they already do on may 22.
That won’t matter of course because these nutters or some other nutters like them will come up with a new date and publish a shitload of books and dvds and make a fuckload of money on their TV and radio stations SEND YOUR MONEY AND BE SAVED.
then of course we have the new agers with their mayan 2012 prophecy bollocks, maybe we freethinkers should have our own commune were we can get away from these wankers for a bit.
January 4th, 2011 at 2:28 pm
No doubt when junior fails to make an appearance it will be the fault of us nasty unbelievers for not having enough faith.
Strike one to the atheists!
January 4th, 2011 at 2:56 pm
You may laugh but the end time has started and the evidence is there. In Arkansas hundreds of birds littered the roads having fallen dead from the sky. Just to confirm that this is the end time thousands of fish in the same State floated belly-up. They now await the first tranche of atheists to bite the dust unless we turn ourselves into meek and mild, washed in the blood of the lamb Christians. I mean, it stands to reason, you can’t argue with it.
January 4th, 2011 at 3:16 pm
It depends by whose man-made arbitrary calendar you happen to go by.
“The current year according to the Ethiopian calendar is 2003, which began on September 11, 2010 AD of the Gregorian calendar. It has six epagonemal days and so the following year (2004) will begin on September 12, 2011.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethiopian_calendar
So May 21 2011 in Ethiopia will be Ginbot 13, 2003
Oh wait, wasn’t it religion that divided and broke the world’s calendaring systems for centuries anyway? I mean, look at the mess that existed between England and Scotland:
http://www.geo.ed.ac.uk/home/scotland/time.html
No. Now we need something more modern to break the calendars.
Everybody knows the world ACTUALLY ends on 03:14:08 UTC on 19 January 2038 !!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year_2038_problem
January 4th, 2011 at 3:29 pm
Re: the ‘war on terror’; are the US armed forces riddled with nutters who don’t think there’s any point fighting the Taliban or Al-Qaeda, because Jesus is coming to smite the infidel, like a sort of Rambo in sandals?
January 4th, 2011 at 3:44 pm
They could be in for a bit of shock if the Jesus Man does come back, but only to save his fellow Jews.
January 4th, 2011 at 5:41 pm
I got an email from a friend in the USA. He says that in his neighborhood the word is spreading that the Big Arrival is for real. Seems that if enough people believe the nutty message then a critical point is reached and a deluge of believers floods in. He has seen a poster saying, “He is on his way.” Where from is unknown and why he should need till 21 May to get here is not questioned.
Can’t help thinking 22nd May could be a bit of a downer but they will soon explain it away. Probably we didn’t deserve him.
My friend says the message that “he is on his way” sounds like referring to someone who has just taken off on a long haul flight.
January 4th, 2011 at 5:56 pm
This affair seems to be a little different from previous false alarms due to it happening during the information age. These people seem to be well funded, well organised and are doing a good job at getting their message out. This of course will make the 22nd all the more hilarious.
January 4th, 2011 at 6:03 pm
There will be various “Oh THEY forgot to carry the one, it’s actually 2013, I’ve always said that” comments but at least I’ve something to do on May 22nd!
January 4th, 2011 at 6:09 pm
You’d think, having told the world it was going to end on a certain date just about every year since religiots first walked the earth, that these purveyors of claptrap might just have fathomed it was a load of old bollocks by now. But no, their insanity knows no bounds. At least we can all have another good laugh at them when 22nd May dawns just like every other day and life goes on as normal.
BTW, how, exactly, does Ms Exley ‘know’ that she’s going to be safe when the end comes? A bit like Bob Hutton, one might be forgiven for thinking she’s making one hell of a presumption on that front.
January 4th, 2011 at 8:20 pm
So the end will be on May 21, eh? Does God work according to Greenwich Mean Time, EST, PST or some other time zone? One of many divine mysteries that atheists like myself doesn’t have to worry about.
January 4th, 2011 at 9:02 pm
To date, the track record of the Doomsday crowd could make a premium line horoscopes reader look like an infallible seer.
http://www.bible.ca/pre-date-setters.htm
January 4th, 2011 at 9:32 pm
I admire her conviction. Sadly, she is badly mistaken. The bible clearly sates that no one knows the date of Christ’s return. I guess this is just another nutty American doing what Americans do best. Make no mistake, Christ will come again, but it will be as a thief in the night. This nonsense is just another ploy of Satan to get people even more confused than the shower above. The bible has never, and will never be proved wrong.
Jesus Reigns!
January 5th, 2011 at 12:54 am
Nope. A.D. 1,000,000: a mere thousand days to God–less than three years. By that kind of reasoning there’s nothing about “I am coming quickly” that can ever be disproved. The determined goal of Christians is to push their beliefs beyond the pale of testability so their beliefs can’t be exposed as groundless. Hey, I can’t blame them; but it does make me suspect that, deep down, they realize they’re just playing a game of Make Believe.
January 5th, 2011 at 1:08 am
Colin Owen said:
“I admire her conviction. Sadly, she is badly mistaken. The bible clearly sates that no one knows the date of Christ’s return.”
Well, yeah, or sort of. The scripture you site is at is at Matthew 24:36, which says:
“But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.” Even Jesus doesn’t know the day.
Acts 1:7
New International Version (©1984)
He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority”
New Living Translation (©2007)
He replied, “The Father alone has the authority to set those dates and times, and they are not for you to know”
You should note, however, Acts was not a gospel, it was attributed to Paul, aka Saul of Tarsus, self proclaimed apostle.
But, even so, if the bible is the inspired word of god, then anyone who claims they have a clue as to the end of times, is committing blasphemy!!!!!
To freethinkers, interesting link about how many predictions of the end there have been: http://www.religioustolerance.org/end_wrld.htm
NeoWolfe
January 5th, 2011 at 1:09 am
Ms. Exley will still be here May 22nd but I wonder if Harold Camping will have disappeared, along with his ministry’s bankroll.
There would, of course, be no point in looking for him as he will have joined his saviour.
January 5th, 2011 at 1:45 am
Are these twits making any money out of these predictions? Are they offering Armageddon safe shelters buried under the local temple to insanity? What about life insurance with no more payments required after May 21st 2011? There would be a market for Power Balance Second Coming bracelets. You know, the ones that let you stand stable on tippy toes while all around enjoy the rapture. The word rapture has a positive sound about it. Is it something we should look forward to?
January 5th, 2011 at 2:10 am
Hopefully the saved will refrain from driving on that day. The real end of the world won’t be till sometime around October, leaving the rest of us, several months of serenity.
January 5th, 2011 at 8:00 am
NeoWolfe: The Acts of the Apostles was supposedly written by Luke, not Paul. Daniel certainly states that “the wise” will know from the signs when the coming of the kingdom is near, but the New Testament line is that no one can know, not even the “Son of God” himself. As has been pointed out before, Jesus quite plainly stated that the present generation would not have passed away before the coming of “The Son of Man”, and early Christians obviously believed this; hence the passage in Thessalonians where Paul exhorts his readers not to worry about those who have already died. They haven’t “missed” anything – when Jesus comes again they will be raised up FIRST to meet him in the sky (beautifully illustrated in those Chick tracts to which I linked in an earlier thread!).
January 5th, 2011 at 7:10 pm
I have news fo you Jesus is here now as i got the following email from him in answer to the one I sent him as follows:-.On 15 Dec 2010, at 12:43, Thank you for this wonderful book.
(Jesus on thy face) Every page is brilliant. I have not laughed so much whilst reading a book.
I am recommending it to everyone I know. Sorry to laugh at you Jesus. Perhaps when I get to ‘hell’ I will send you an email so be sure to answer.
Your loving Atheist, Elaine.
email reply from Jesus 15 December 2010 12:58
Dear Elaine Thank you for your kind words. My co-authors appreciate your efforts very much.
Feel free to join my Facebook group (you can even review the book there). Have a wonderful Christmas.
Blessed art thou!
JC xxx
January 5th, 2011 at 7:32 pm
Elaine: JC was my brother-in-law! Well, he was actually JCB, but not the famous one. (Sadly, murdered about fifteen months ago now, but a great character and much missed.)
January 6th, 2011 at 1:01 am
Bjohn said,
“The Acts of the Apostles was supposedly written by Luke”.
You are correct. I guess twenty five years of freedom has dimmed my memory. And twenty five years of aging has dimmed my brain cells. But, that nonfact was a sidenote to my argument, and irrelevent to the conclusion.
But you said:
“As has been pointed out before, Jesus quite plainly stated that the present generation would not have passed away before the coming of “The Son of Man”.
That is the really relevent point. That the coming was promised to happen nineteen hundred years ago, and everything that has happened since then has been conmen trying to keep the dream alive, as a lucrative circus show.
JW’s say that generation began in 1914. That would make them approximately 97, if it weren’t for a caveat. They said that a person of that generation would have to be old enough to recognize the signs of the times. They said, approximately fourteen. Uh oh, that would make them 111. LOL. They also predicted that the end would come in 1975, and when that didn’t happen, they said that the error in the timeline was due to how much time it took for Adam to name the animals. LMFAO Well, I hope he had a huge canoe, and a deep sea submersible, because we still aren’t done finding, let alone naming all the animals. You would think that Moses, god’s best buddy would know that. Alas.
NeoWolfe
January 6th, 2011 at 3:54 am
What’s gonna happen is she’s gonna die in combat in Iraq on that date. Friendly fire or not, but not intentionally. Or maybe, but either way, she’s just marked herself.
And look at the situation she puts herself in: “If i’m still here after the day passes, I wasn’t chosen” OOH BOO HOO WEEP FOR ME
January 6th, 2011 at 4:13 am
When I point out the delusion that is the xian religion, one of the things that I ask is “how many times do you people have to be wrong before you admit it?” This just adds to the count. I think over the last 2000 years, “armageddon” has been “predicted” over 100 times. They are ALWAYS wrong, just like in everything else.
January 6th, 2011 at 8:08 am
I have just come across this load of garbage, and thought I would share it. It reminds me of my days as an evangelical, when similar arguments were employed ad nauseam to try to explain away the contradictions in the “infallible Word of God”. In the end I just couldn’t stomach it any more.
Mark 13:32 (KJV) — But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father. It does not say “shall not know” the month or year but do not know (present tense) the day or hour. This phrase is actually the Hebrew idiom for the “Feast that no man knows the day or hour”, that is, “Yom Teruah” / “Feast of Trumpets/Shouting”. This is the only feast day that you do not know in advance exactly when it is going to start because it happens on the day of the new visible crescent moon of the 7th month.
The statement was never meant to say we could never know the timing of the the Messiah’s coming in advance. That would conflict with many other scriptures if it were the intent. (My emphasis)
http://www.escapeallthesething.....r-hour.htm
January 6th, 2011 at 3:00 pm
If their Jesus comes back on May 21 I hope he asks me why I wasn’t a believer.
The answer is simple: you shouldn’t have left.
You only need add one word to the campaign slogan: think, as in ‘we think we can know’
Camping has already ‘miscalculated’ the date at least once. I doubt this will convince him or them that he is wrong. He studied the Bible to learn the date, got that wrong, is trying again. Anyone that says they have studied the Bible in great detail and is not now an atheist is a crackpot.
January 6th, 2011 at 5:15 pm
How can someone who doesn’t exist return?
January 6th, 2011 at 10:24 pm
Oh, I’m sensing an opportunity here to make some money. I’ll lease out the fastest passenger jet in existence and, after chartering the plane with a bunch of the xtian faithful, we’ll fly west, keeping up with the return of jesus in time zones as we fly through them. They’ll be able to experience the feel of jesus coming over and over again.
I’m gonna be rich, I tells ya! Rich!!
January 6th, 2011 at 11:27 pm
did anyone else notice that the chick with the car broke the #1 rule in typography design: don’t use more than 2 fonts in one design.
she’s freakin’ using FIVE.
Am I the only one who is bothered by that!?!?
January 6th, 2011 at 11:42 pm
If these people are so sure, I have an offer that can’t refuse. After the “Rapture” I will build a monument saying “We told you so” with all of their names on it. All they have to do is sign a power of attorney giving me all of their worldly goods as of May 12, 2011.
I will design and build the monuments myself. Or maybe they would prefer billboards? If they are sincere in their beliefs, they should love this. It would be a final nyah, nyah, to all of the unbelivers left behind.
In a way, I hope they are right. Imagine, a world without these self-righteous morons in it! Praise Jesus! (something they say a lot, but never do)
January 7th, 2011 at 12:36 am
So this means we should start driving around behind them with Eternal Earthbound Pets pamphlets? I mean, it’d truly be irresponsible to get all raptured up and just leave their dog alone in the house.
January 7th, 2011 at 1:24 am
guise! thats my birthday! am i jesus??
January 7th, 2011 at 3:45 am
So hot…so dumb.
Sadly, I like women who are smarter. Because sometimes I wish I wasn’t the only nutter providing intricate details about something utterly fascinating for me but excruciatingly boring for her.
January 7th, 2011 at 3:47 am
what kind of car is that?
January 7th, 2011 at 3:59 am
Bjohn said:
“I have just come across this load of garbage, and thought I would share it.”
It’s like politics and statistics, it’s a violin on which you can play any tune. I would think that any freethinker would be above such a game, which leaves me mystified as to why you don’t understand my anger with harwood. Was the game he was playing any different? Or are we the same assholes that spin such facts to meet our agenda?
A spin competition? I thought we were trying to open the eyes of the world to reality.
Caught in one lie, regardless of how long the relationship, the trust is broken. Now, do you understand my anger?
NeoWolfe
January 7th, 2011 at 8:16 am
I have no idea what you are on about, NeoWolfe. You turn visits to this site from a pleasure to a chore.
January 8th, 2011 at 4:35 am
Bjohn said:
“I have no idea what you are on about, NeoWolfe.”
Well, I’m a colonial, and I’m not sure what “on about” means, but, I assume you mean you don’t understand where I’m coming from.
Let me clarify. In any relationship, it takes years of fidelity to develope a real trust. As long as that fidelity is jealously safeguarded, the trust continues.
But, the moment that trust is violated the nature of the relationship changes. Harwood, claiming to be an expert, tried to spin a lie to discredit Jesus. While many valid arguments exist to discredit christianity, he lied, misrepresented the facts, he compromised our movement’s relationship with the truth seekers among the rest of the world. We don’t need spin to awaken the open minded. In fact, what we need to open their minds is complete trust that what we say is a roster of pure facts.
This is not advertising, or spin, or politics. Freethought is about the purest form of truth that can be known at this point in time. Someone who joins the movement because harwood said that Jesus preached embezzlement won’t be with us for long. We will be the same fraud as the RCC. If fraud is is your game plan, good luck with that. I came to seek fellowship with real freethinkers, not politicians.
NeoWolfe
January 8th, 2011 at 4:43 am
The ride is a current model Nissan Maxima. I bet you can find it in the paint shop on 5/22.
January 8th, 2011 at 11:17 am
What a shame…. she’s a good looking woman. I’d like a shot at that ass before the ‘end’ gets here!
January 8th, 2011 at 8:27 pm
Matt 24:36-39
January 11th, 2011 at 6:52 pm
She’s from New Jersey, that explains it.
As for free thought, the only free thought is in the Forum, and free thinkers are smart enough not to believe the noble lie, therefore there is no real free thought except by conflict and contrast, vindicated with factual conclusion, which is only discovered by logical efflation, disseminated by the primarily-indicated forum (often with its own form of zealotry), and established via the scientific method, often ignored.
Phew.
And as for the latter young lady having a new Nissan, where’d she get the money for that? And why do they have billboards? Where else could this money have gone? If they believed that they were truly Christ-like, instead of needing a Christ to save
themus, they would be able to spend that money to, y’know, do something!Or is that what we have science for these days?
January 12th, 2011 at 10:54 pm
You can leave a message on the site mentioned on the car bonnet in the picture, wecanknow.com. I just left one asking if I can have all their stuff they won’t need any more, but you could offer to look after their pets for a fee or think of something better. I think it’s nice to let them know we’re thinking of them.
January 15th, 2011 at 7:20 pm
I’ll be very upset if the world ends on the 21st. That’s like, a week before my 21st birthday.
January 18th, 2011 at 9:26 pm
She should suck as much dick as she can before she is called to the promised land…. the freaking kook.
January 19th, 2011 at 12:41 am
Jesus is already here. He lives in Cherry Creek Nevada with no electricity, making jalapeno cheese. Mmm, tasty.
———————————————————————–
He died for our sins, now he’s back for our brains.
January 19th, 2011 at 1:38 am
I wonder if I can get a promissory note on the car? I’d pay her 100 bucks for ownership of the car on May 22nd.
January 21st, 2011 at 6:18 pm
On a Saturday,really? That’s just not right….. The end of the world needs to be on a Monday. Saturday is just not going to work for me. You will have to reschedule.
January 23rd, 2011 at 5:22 pm
Can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to May 21st. Only the party people will be left!
January 25th, 2011 at 3:32 am
Dear Allison,
Here, have some cake. Please feel free to eat, too.
January 28th, 2011 at 2:26 pm
Is she a Moron because she wants to help you. She must be because you don’t deserve her compassion and help. You and your kind are the very reason for judgment day. Enjoy Judgment day!
Sooner or later one of these predictions has got to be right! Look at the world today. How would you fix it?
The world is in such a mess our only hope is God’s return. You who don’t want him to return, ask yourself: Who is going to help the world. The world is truly beyond any human help. No jobs, no money, no future. Governments around the world in unrest! Greed and violence and vice has already destroyed our world. Now our only salvation is the Lord’s intervention.
2 Peter, Chapter 3
3 Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts,
4 And saying, Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation.
5 For this they willingly are ignorant of, that by the word of God the heavens were of old, and the earth standing out of the water and in the water:
6 Whereby the world that then was, being overflowed with water, perished:
7 But the heavens and the earth, which are now, by the same word are kept in store, reserved unto fire against the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men.