WILL Stephen “Birdshit” Green ever learn that each incursion he makes into Gayland leaves him looking ever more ridiculous?
At the beginning of April, pathologically trawling the net for news about The Gays, the Christian Voice founder and alleged wife and child-beater stumbled across a Pink News report that a new iPhone application – Kroozr – is set to become the number one app for gay men.
Stephen Green, driven to lunacy by his favourite work of fiction, the Bible
Kroozr, according to PN:
Claims to use smartphone technology to determine whether men in the user’s vicinity are gay and can even filter out undesirables, such as those wearing sandals with socks.
According to creator Peter Kelly, the app takes the guesswork out of gaydar, cuts down on valuable ‘sussing out’ time and weeds out weirdos.
All users need to do is turn on their smartphone and wait for Kroozr to assess nearby men with its inbuilt Kinsey Scale.
Mr Kelly said: ‘Kroozr is the new future of gay dating that will turn every trip to M&S, every queue for the cashpoint, every Boris bike trip into a hot party full of your type of guy.
‘Just fill in the details of your ideal man, turn on the app and go about your business. When you get within eyeshot of a hot guy, you can check him out on Kroozr.’
He added: ‘We’ve even developed a ‘filtering’ feature, whereby you can set the app to screen out men with ponytails, bumbags or Chinese symbol tattoos. There’ll be no more turning up expecting Rob Lowe and getting Bob Crow.
Green lost no time in airing his horror over the app on his sorry excuse for a blog, saying:
You really couldn’t make it up … Everything about the depravity, the sadness, the lack of normality, even of humanity, the promiscuity driven by the pathology of homosexuality is distilled into this story.
Sadly, Green did not check the date of the report: April 1.
Not surprisingly, Pink News is quite chuffed over its success in hoodwinking the daft old bugger.
Hat Tip: Angela K
Update – April 20: We’ve just learned that a genuine iPhone app - sold as a “comprehensive guide to divorce in England and Wales” – has incurred Green’s wrath.
The divorced Green told the Guardian:
This app [called Divorce?] disregards the sanctity of marriage by reducing it to mere monetary concerns. It could encourage divorce by normalising the decision, making it seem as easy to make as any other lifestyle choice. It could also deter the other partner from fighting to save their marriage, by making the process seem inevitable and, again, as normal as any other decision their partner might take that they have to accept.
The Freethinker was founded in 1881 by GW Foote, an outspoken critic of religion. After the publication of 
April 20th, 2011 at 2:10 am
“The fool hath said in his heart that there is electronic gaydar.”
I’ve left a comment for him:
Anyone fancy a fool’s bet…?
April 20th, 2011 at 4:58 am
The threadhead quoted Green:
“Everything about the depravity, the sadness, the lack of normality, even of humanity, the promiscuity driven by the pathology of homosexuality is distilled into this story.”
Well, I’m straight, and I’ve had lots of gay friends, and I have to agree they are depraved, but so am I. I’m totally disinterested in his definition of “normality”, but, I think I might understand his point about “sadness”. When we choose to think about the fact that we are all going to die, it kinda makes us sad. Personally, though, getting old and shitting my pants makes me sadder. I don’t want to kling that hard to the inevitable fleeting moments.
NeoWolfe
April 20th, 2011 at 8:26 am
As I have said before, I don’t think there is anyone in the UK more obsessed about homosexuality than Green.
I think he will be caught, like all the anti homo evangelicals i.e. Ted Haggard/Eddie Long/George Rekers, with his pants down. Nobody can be that interested in a subject and not want to try it out.
Does anyone know if the wretched BBC/Daily Mail still allow this man air time after the allegations about wife beatings came out?
April 20th, 2011 at 8:48 am
It is clear from our update, Tony, that the media ARE still turning to the thoroughly discredited Green for comments. He was interviewed about the app by the BBC, and his rant was relayed in Europe via Talk Radio Europe.
April 20th, 2011 at 11:12 am
I have no doubt that Birdshit is genuinely concerned about this device. If a smartphone really could detect gays in its vicinity then he would be setting off beeps everywhere he went.
April 20th, 2011 at 11:13 am
If Green was interviewed by the BBC about this, are we to take it that they were taken in by the story too? Or have they perhaps fallen out of love with him and saw this as an opportunity to make him look like a fool? Even without knowing the date it is obvious that it is a spoof.
The most idiotic falling for an April Fool joke, and this is no urban myth, I heard it first hand, was when a Hull paper ran a story about a local village called Swanland being forced to change its name to Duckville because of EU regulations. The village name was an inaccurate description due to there being no swans there and only ducks. The following day the local radio phone in was visited by a ranting idiot who had had it up to the back teeth with stupid EU rules. The radio presenter strung him along for a while before asking him what the date was the day before. This was quite a few years ago now but I bet he is still getting ragged about it.
April 20th, 2011 at 12:05 pm
I was always told that it is wrong to mock the afflicted. Mr Green can’t help it if he has a few badly wired synapses.
April 20th, 2011 at 12:27 pm
The gift that keeps on (and on and on) giving. Thankyou Zeus!!
April 20th, 2011 at 1:05 pm
I see that Green has tried to save face on his blog by writing
‘Although I was initially taken in by Pink News’s April Fool, that is only because it made so much sense to anyone with a tiny bit of knowledge of the ‘gay scene’ and of recent technological advances.’
Rather like those who read the ‘defamatory’ story about him in January and could believe every word given all the past stories highlighting what a disturbed and bullying piece of work he is and the long history of fundies exposed as hypocrites.
April 20th, 2011 at 1:15 pm
Stonyground, Green was actually interviewed about the iPhone divorce app
April 20th, 2011 at 1:17 pm
Forgot to mention, this is actually THE SECOND TIME IN A ROW that Green has been taken in by a gay publication’s April Fool. Last year he included some rubbish about the Pope being booked to appear at G.A.Y as a stage act in his Brutal Britain archive, apparently believing it to be genuine. See for yourselves.
http://www.brutalbritain.org.uk/April%202010.html
Oh Stephen, the only thing that couldn’t be made up here is you.
April 20th, 2011 at 1:30 pm
Just a thought, but what was Green doing reading Pink News in the first place?
April 20th, 2011 at 1:52 pm
I’m not surprised that the BBC were taken in by Green. They are taken in by preachers of superstition every day and for much of Sunday. Green will always be welcome there. He “speaks to their condition” as the Quakers say and is 100 per cent certain to appeal to their religious prejudices. If Green didn’t exist the BBC would have to invent him although I suppose they could bring the egregious Widdicombe off the subs bench.
April 20th, 2011 at 7:42 pm
Barry Duke,
Many thanks for that. It just staggers me that such a nasty human being gets air time.
The painfully right-on BBC will give any frothing at the mouth twat a platform yet denies a regular opportunity for people who live in the real world (us) to make statements grounded in fact.
You could not make it up.
April 20th, 2011 at 9:23 pm
Marcus:
Summat to do with being totally obsessed, probably. Although I s’pose there’s an outside chance he’s looking for how-to-come-out tips.
April 21st, 2011 at 12:27 am
This app [called Divorce?] disregards the sanctity of marriage by reducing it to mere monetary concerns. It could encourage divorce by normalising the decision, making it seem as easy to make as any other lifestyle choice.
Meh. That would only be going back to what marriage was traditionally, which is what they keep whinging about. Centuries ago people didn’t marry for love, and if someone with more status or potential financial stability came along they thought nothing of dumping their current spouse.
April 22nd, 2011 at 3:53 am
“As I have said before, I don’t think there is anyone in the UK more obsessed about homosexuality than Green”. Err…every silly little religion has an issue with sex, that is the abrahamic religions. Those bronze-age goatherders must have had an issue with sex. Perhaps sand in the vaseline?