POPE Paul performed his first post-beatification miracle at the weekend, according to Peru’s President Alan Garcia.
His first miracle has been to rid the world of this incarnation of evil, this demon of hatred and criminality.
Pope John Paul II and President Alan Garcia: what's the deal with Catholics and pigeons?
He rid the world of Pope Ratzinger, right?
Wait, wait … Garcia was referring to Osama Bin Laden.
The clown said the late pontiff wasted no time in performing the second miracle needed for sainthood, making it possible for American commandos to find and kill their hated Al-Qaeda foe, whom they had hunted for the past decade.
Garcia added, according to this report, that the late JP II showed uncanny timing, with his miracle falling on the very same day as a Rome ceremony beatifying him.
We hope that with his fall, that entire group that had hoped to spread terrorism throughout the world loses its importance.
The Peruvian leader said Sunday’s assault on bin Laden’s compound:
Should please President Barack Obama and vindicate former president George W Bush.
Bush’s relentless pursuit of a global “war on terror” became a central focus of US foreign and military policy during his tenure – and his stupidity sent America’s popularity plunge to their lowest ever levels.
Hat tip: Holland
The Freethinker was founded in 1881 by GW Foote, an outspoken critic of religion. After the publication of 
May 3rd, 2011 at 9:40 am
It amazes me that anyone in a position of national responsibility can hold such beliefs. Does the brain suffer damage through years of unquestioning faith in the crap that religious teachers dish out, rendering the victim incapable of rational thought?
May 3rd, 2011 at 9:49 am
I don’t know about anyone else – but I never thought GWB needed justification for going after Bin Laden. The religious nut (Bin Laden, not Bush) caused the deaths of over 3000 innocent people – I would have backed Bush sending everything he had after the psycho.
Doesn’t vindicate the rest of the stuff though – or the fact that it took 10 years, two presidencies and a lot of dead soldiers to get to this point.
May 3rd, 2011 at 11:27 am
@Tozza: Yes.
May 3rd, 2011 at 11:51 am
@David McNerney. I think Bush needs to justify himself for sending his and other nations into a war which had no relation whatsoever to do with Bin Laden. Bin Laden was used an excuse to justify the invasion of Iraq, which at that time, was a largely secularist country and which now is exactly the opposite and has caused far more bloodshed than the actual invasion ever did. Neither do I believe that the death of bin Laden will achieve anything other than prompting further attacks. All in the name of religion.
The financial backing of the IRA by, amongst others, NORAID, directly contributed to the death toll of a 30 odd year civil war in this country which continues to this day with an even higher death toll yet American claims to hold the moral high ground when it comes to terrorism. well, it doesn’t and never has and in my view, has far more to answer for than bin Laden ever did.
May 3rd, 2011 at 12:00 pm
Come come don’t be so cynical.We know that every Christian performs the miracle of talking from their bottoms.
May 3rd, 2011 at 12:05 pm
It’s not means the terrorist attacks stop.I think.Americans will may be more attacks by terrorist ,specially who oversea .
May 3rd, 2011 at 2:11 pm
I thought Pope Paul got sainted yonks ago. Maybe the Peruvian chap meant John Paul II.
Or maybe he is just mad.
May 3rd, 2011 at 2:26 pm
I wonder if President Garcia could shed some light on why Pope Paul took so long to get round to this particular ‘miracle’. If it was so important that he intervene and give the Americans a hand, couldn’t he have done it ages ago?
May 3rd, 2011 at 4:37 pm
Marcus: I agree. Like maybe ten years ago. However, if I may indulge in a little priestly Latin, now largely abandoned by the church: post hoc ergo propter hoc. They make great use of this concept of after the event therefore because of the event. Which is why he had to wait till Bin Laden got whacked.
What would be convincing would be if they came up with something, with equal confidence, before the event. Or if, relating to these phonys who leach on the grief stricken, the spiritualists, they told us something important which we didn’t know aleady instead of the usual banal, “Your mum is happy and thinking of you and misses the lovely times you had together.”
May 3rd, 2011 at 7:45 pm
How on Earth can anyone spout such rubbish with a straight face? My number one contender for a ‘real’ miracle: The fact that anyone would actually believe it.
May 3rd, 2011 at 9:28 pm
I’d love to see this garcia charachter say this to the faces of the real special forces guys who went in there and done the job.
UNLESS they watched that movie universal soldeir and dug up the pope and ressurected him and sent him with the team who did the job which although outlandish is about as beleivable as a miracle happening.
May 3rd, 2011 at 9:45 pm
I think the rc church is getting desperate in finding a miracle so that jp1 can get cannonised. I don’t see the problem with just making one up (i.e nun gets wind – prays to jp – farts – pain gone = miracle) its not like any other miracle was real.
I assume the doves headgear is now de rigeur amongst catholics? For use by shitheads only?
May 4th, 2011 at 12:11 am
Tony
Breaking news. Steven Green one-ups the pope. Unveils trained herring gull.
May 4th, 2011 at 3:41 am
Hi, BDuke,
I see my latest posts are deleted. It’s all good, I appreciate you letting me beat the living shit out of your contributers after they mistreated me and most importantly, underestimated me. Now, harwood can come lie about what the bible says. Tony e can invent scientific history. And you are free to twist poll results. Bjohn can pretend he has zero doubt about the origin of the universe. You have an open forum where you can lie at will, and convince yourselves that you are furthering the cause of freethought.
When you published the threadhead about the Phillipines, the atheists and agnostic group, and the congratulations being traded, that was my moment to tear all guilty parties a new asshole. I got it off my chest, I had my say. Then, posting was more boredum than expression. Now, it’s over, we can move on.
Do you know when you have won a debate? When your opponent has nothing left but personal insults and censorship. I win, big!!! Feel free to publish this.
NeoWolfe
May 4th, 2011 at 5:00 am
Okay everybody “circle time” (PSHE Schools) Time to say something nice about someone else. “Thumbs up to His Holiness for liking Mozart…….” Your turn……
May 4th, 2011 at 5:29 am
The catholics are taking this “worship of the dead” thing just a bit too far. They’ve got the decomposed dead pope on display at their churchy thing in Rome and vial of the dead popes blood there too for more effect. If that’s not enough, they still have their dead bloke on a stick on display at at every christian venue in the world, and insist on eating and drinking bits of the dead bloke, the jesus one, not the dead pope every Sunday at church. They seem very happy turning their decomposed lord myth into human excrement. Maybe they could do the same to the decomposed pope. Pope flavoured crackers, with a nice fruity red.
May 4th, 2011 at 9:11 am
The patron saint of Kefalonia is another preserved corpse that’s dragged out every August. I know they’re not Roman catholics but it’s well worth a watch and if you’re very lucky you can kiss its feet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9Fv6JsZUD4
May 4th, 2011 at 11:01 am
Funny how these religious types always try to take claim for something good that has nothing to do with them and blame the sinners fore every natural disaster know to man. God needs more money!
Why was nothing said when the Great Magical Cloud God sent hundreds of tornados through the bible belt of this USA just last week…or was that his magical enemy the Devil.
If this Pope has so much magical powers, why did he not purge the Catholic Church of all the pedophile priests in their clergy during his term in office? Of coarse pesky abused children are not on the top of their list since they have no jobs, or ca$h to give to the Church.