News

Posturing little nincompoop tells Kansas voters: ‘You better vote for me!’

MEET Jack Wu. Not only does he regularly attended services at the “fag”-hating Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, he also has designs on a position within the Kansas State Board of Education.

Jack Wu vows to bring his cockamamie brand of Christian woo to Kansas education

If elected, little Jackie Wu, who looks barely out of diapers, promises on his election website to:

Throw out the crap that teachers are feeding their students and replace it with healthy good for the soul knowledge from the holy scriptures.

He asserts that:

The current public educational system in Kansas and the United States is preparing its students to be liars, crooks, thieves, murderers, and perverts.

And he says:

Let’s be specific. Evolution should never be taught in public schools as science. Evolution is false science! God made the heaven and the earth and created humans from the dust of the earth! The very bad teachers that teach that men descended from apes via evolution need to have their teaching licenses revoked. Yes, students should be taught that God created everything.

School administrators are always complaining about budget problems and lack of funding for this or that. Haha, that’s funny. I have a really simple solution to solve that problem: Eliminate funding for evolution textbooks and pseudo-education. We’ll save a ton of money! Tell those evolution textbook publishers to recycle their waste of paper, and tell those evolution teachers to teach truths instead of lies.

The lies of men and of the devil need to be expelled from the classrooms of Kansas, and of the United States, and of the world. Make room for the truth of God!

Declaring his candidacy for a seat on the Kansas State Board of Education (District 4), he said:

If you live in this district, you had better vote for me in the November 6, 2012 general election!

In his biography, Wu, who has the irritating affectation of referring to himself in the third person, says he was introduced to the theory of evolution at an elementary school in Hayward, California, where he:

Fell victim to the lies of his evil teachers and thought evolution was real science for a time.

A private Christian school reversed the damage:

There, Jack was taught that God created the world and the universe. At first, Jack stuck with his old pseudo-science evolution-based cosmology. However, the light of the holy scriptures burned all those trashy concepts away. Jack now knows that God is the Creator of all things.

Wu moved to Topeka, Kansas:

After seeing the light of Westboro Baptist Church. There, he found people that loved and served the Lord their God sincerely. The church stands amidst the evil city of Topeka, whose citizens among other things tried to burn down the church.

With the upcoming elections, Jack endeavors to make a difference in this evil city of Topeka and this perverse state of Kansas. The students and children of this generation need the light of the scriptures if to correct their erroneous ways. They don’t need Satanic lies like evolution filling their heads, and if elected to office, Jack would like to purge such lies from the curriculum.

Westboro Baptist church spokeswoman, the swivel-eyed Shirley Phelps-Roper, said that Wu is an “acquaintance,” and describes him as “just a friendly little guy,” though not a church member.

Rachel Hockenbarger, a Westboro devotee claims it isn’t unusual to spot Wu at services.

He attends church on a somewhat regular basis. You don’t have to be a member to attend. You just have to behave yourself.

 

28 responses to “Posturing little nincompoop tells Kansas voters: ‘You better vote for me!’”

  1. remigius says:

    Fuck you, Jack Woo!

  2. barriejohn says:

    Jack Wu; Rachel Hockenbarger: is that the best you can come up with, Barry?

    Maybe he was transported to the Land of Oz with Dorothy!

  3. 5ec4um says:

    I couldn’t bear to read all the Jack Wu quotes in this piece… too much stupid.

  4. Sondra says:

    Wow. Just… Wow.

  5. mikespeir says:

    Westboro Baptist church spokeswoman, the swivel-eyed Shirley Phelps-Roper, said that Wu is an “acquaintance,” and describes him as “just a friendly little guy,” though not a church member.

    In other words, Wu is going to Hell. Pity.

  6. Matt Westwood says:

    Jesus fucking christ on a fucking pedalo in Brighton Marina, what a fucking cunt.

    I was planning on having bacon for breakfast tomorrow, but having seen Jack Wu that’s quite put me off, think I’ll have beef products instead.

  7. JohnMWhite says:

    Wasn’t this guy trying to join the WBC when Louis Theroux made his documentary about them? From what I recall he was as obvious a closet case as I’ve ever seen.

    I find it fascinating that creationists are so determined to claim that evolution is “false science”. On the one hand, they despise scientific orthodoxy and readily dismiss the entire concept of science as nothing more than a global conspiracy to disagree with them. Yet on the other, they frequently try to argue scientifically against evolution and in favour of their particular brand of origin mythology. Why use a tool you distrust to do a job that is supposedly so important to you? And which side of the fence are they going to be on – either science is of the devil because it comes to a conclusion that doesn’t gel with what your holy book says, or if you want to argue about what science is correct, you’ve got to accept the conclusions correctly conducted science actually reaches.

    As usual, a Christian wants it both ways.

  8. Daz says:

    Fell victim to the lies of his evil teachers and thought evolution was real science for a time.

    Oh those eeeevil teachers, with their facts and evidence and stuff. That’s too bloody difficult, let’s just go with some iron-age mythology instead. ‘Cause, like, ancient wisdom, right?

  9. Trevor Blake says:

    Jack Wu has announced his intention to run for office. Can anyone find evidence that he qualifies as a candidate? That his name will be considered by those with official decision-making powers?

    I can’t find such evidence. I suggest this is another case of a WBC blowhard getting his enemies to give him press.

  10. Buffy says:

    They’re pretty Krazy in Kansas.

  11. Robster says:

    Jees, this bloke is gonna win lots of votes by calling his city “evil” and perverse. If it’s so rotton, why doesn’t he try say Las vegas or somewhere famed for its purity and virtue?

  12. Marky Mark says:

    “They don’t need Satanic lies like evolution filling their heads, and if elected to office, Jack would like to purge such lies from the curriculum. And then run Flintstones cartoons as proof that dinosaurs did live together in harmony with Adam and Eve.”

    Now I know why the Romans threw Christians to the Lions…they are not much brighter than the asses they fed them.

  13. Steve says:

    Yes, he was trying to join WBC in that Theroux documentary, and yes, if ever there was a self-hating, screwed-up closet case looking to turn that self-loathing outwards, this was it. Poor sod.

  14. Har Davids says:

    Jack Wu is right about the budget problems that would be solved by eliminating all god-less science. We’ll close all science-departments and hospitals, for starters, and live like the people of the OT, probably with a matching life expectancy. Prayer, leeches and blood-letting is all we need.

  15. Don Johnstone says:

    If we were to design the perfect stereotype Fundie to make a mockery of the religious right, and send him to America to infiltrate their politics, then I think our work here is done. Good job everyone.

  16. Daz says:

    Don Johnstone

    Shhh! We don’t talk about the secret master-plan in public!

  17. AgentCormac says:

    Wu by name, woo by nature.

  18. Angela_K says:

    “The current public educational system in Kansas and the United States is preparing its students to be liars, crooks, thieves, murderers, and perverts.”

    Hasn’t religion already done this? Child abuse, money laundering, misappropriation of funds…..

  19. Matt Westwood says:

    “Now I know why the Romans threw Christians to the Lions…they are not much brighter than the asses they fed them.”

    That practice was stopped by the Roman Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Lions.

  20. Broga says:

    Wu has got one thing he wants: publicity. Clowns like Wu, once they get attention, exhibit one overwhelming characteristic (as well as ignorance which I take as standard) and that is smugness. I would guess he strolls around thinking he is one hell of a success. He thinks the bible is literally true, the world was created 6,000 years ago and evolution is satanic. This fool needs treatment as in psychiatric. Remove the religious label and he immediately qualifies as paranoid.

  21. barriejohn says:

    But does he REALLY believe all that bullshit, Broga? Sometimes the most vociferous proponents of “Wu” are the biggest doubters. Far easier to escape into a bubble of fairy-tale magic, trying to convince yourself that it is actually true, than face up to the harsh realities of life. There are also the downright dishonest, who, like the very worst of the “used-car salesman” stereotype, know that every word that issues from their mouths is complete fiction, but are adept at giving the impression of deep sincerity. I’m sure that many of the televangelists are in that category!

  22. Georgina says:

    Heard a good quote the other day – missed who it was from – so whoever you are out there, thanks:

    Religion is the only discipline that supplies academic degrees and the title of scholar after reading only one book!

  23. Ex Patriot says:

    This little boil on the ass of the world needs to punctured some how.He would like to take people back to pre stone age, and even those people had more sense then he does. I hope the people of Wichita are not dumb enough to vote for a bat shit insane idiot like this, but they put up with the WBC so who knows how deep the crazy goes

  24. remigius says:

    @Georgina – I don’t know about that actual quote, but Richard Dawkins said something similar at the Rally For Free Expression in February…

    http://freethoughtblogs.com/maryamnamazie/2012/02/19/richard-dawkins/

    I know cos I was there!

  25. Matt Westwood says:

    Don’t worry, nobody’s going to vote for a dinky little baby-smooth child like him. They’re far more likely to vote for a drop-dead handsome square-jawed six-footer wearing properly masculine man-clothes, with rugged features, steely-blue eyes and a stubble-blue chin … unfortunately I’m not standing as a candidate.

  26. Broga says:

    @barriejohn: Agreed. Once they discover how easy it is to press the fundie buttons they love it. Suddenly, without the inconvenience of years of disciplined study they become religious experts, famous and admired by the gullible. We see this time after time. Tele evangelists caught with their hand in the cookie jar and their secretary bent over the desk and not to take dictation.