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C of E gay bishops ruling opens the way for Jeffrey John to replace Justin Welby

C of E gay bishops ruling opens the way for Jeffrey John to replace Justin Welby

FOLLOWING the news this week that the Church of England has approved the appointment of gay bishops in civil partnerships, provided they remain sexually abstinent comes a report that Britain’s most senior openly gay cleric could be the next Bishop of Durham.

Jeffrey John was appointed Bishop of Reading in 2003, but was forced to step down amid protests over his homosexuality. He was also rejected as the candidate for the Bishop of Southwark in 2010.

Jeffrey John, the next Bishop of Durham?

Jeffrey John, the next Bishop of Durham?

But the new rules mean his name has now been put forward as a possible replacement for Justin Welby, soon to become the next Archbishop of Canterbury.

Worshippers at Durham Cathedral today were split when told of the news.

Sharon Keedy, 47, from South Shields, said:

It goes against all of my traditional values. I would not oppose it, but I do not think it is quite right.

Bill Lumsden, 59, from Hawthorn, County Durham, added:

It is private and why should it matter as long as he can do the job right?

Sam Armstrong, 20, from Sunderland, said:

In today’s society this sort of thing should not have an impact on whether someone can do a job, whether they are a doctor, lawyer or bishop. I don’t care.

John has been with his partner, a Church of England hospital chaplain, for nearly 40 years. They became civil partners in 2006, but he has always maintained that he is celibate.

gay-bishop

Welby’s replacement is not expected to be announced until summer at the earliest. A spokesman for the Diocese of Durham said:

Justin is still Bishop of Durham until the legal process of his election to Archbishop of Canterbury is confirmed in early February.

The process for the nomination of a new Bishop of Durham is called the ‘vacancy in see’ and starts in the diocese and requires The Crown Nominations Commission (CNC) to meet on two occasions per Vacancy in See to nominate candidates for diocesan bishoprics to the Crown. We are only at the very start of that process, and any decision is a way off yet.

Meanwhile, the Independent has gotten its hands on a leaked C or E memo, setting out the following guidelines for gay bishops:

• Gay Bishops and their partners are allowed to hold hands on the sofa when watching Downton Abbey but snuggling on the sofa is forbidden.

• When greeting their partner, gay Bishops may only kiss them once on the cheek. To kiss them twice on the cheek is too European and therefore too gay.

• Holding hands across the table in restaurants is forbidden. Footsies under the table is permitted.

• Thick cotton flannel pyjamas must be worn in bed at all times during winter. In summer, only the top half can be removed and they must then face away from each other in bed.

• When sharing a milkshake or a Pepsi, gay Bishops and their partners must use two straws.

• The phrases “I love you”, “you are my one and only”, “you complete me” and “you look nice today, have you done something to your hair?” are all banned.

• Gay Bishops and their partners must immediately dispose of all Erasure and Pet Shop Boys CDs and replace them with Katherine Jenkins and Michael Buble.

• When tempted to make love to each other, it is advised that both parties close their eyes and think of God weeping at their lack of self control.

• Gay Bishops and their partners are banned from eating pork sausages as they may encourage sniggering at the breakfast table, but are permitted to eat Quorn and Linda McCartney sausages.

• Gay Bishops and their partners are now banned from watching Pillow Talk staring Doris Day and Rock Hudson for obvious reasons.

• Gay Bishops are allowed to talk to actresses, so long as the actresses are not left wing liberal lesbians who may encourage them to disregard the above rules.

Hat tip: Daz

 

 

18 responses to “C of E gay bishops ruling opens the way for Jeffrey John to replace Justin Welby”

  1. James B says:

    Is there a prize for being the 1,000,000th person to point out that gay bishops can now bash themselves but not each other?

  2. Daz says:

    James, many years ago, some mates and I toyed with the idea of forming a band named Reverend X and the God Squad, primarily so that we could do a drum-instrumental (à la Sandy nelson entitled Bashin’ The Bishop.

    Regarding the story; just how on Earth do they intend to enforce the celibacy rule?

  3. Stephen Mynett says:

    “Regarding the story; just how on Earth do they intend to enforce the celibacy rule?”
    The same way the catholics do, ignore it until someone gets caught. The only difference will be the CofE sex between bishops and partners will be consenting, unlike the the the childrape of Ratboy’s priests.

  4. Matt Westwood says:

    Back in 2003 I was a bit ashamed, I admit. Not that I really give a rat’s arse who’s bishop, bashing or otherwise, but being a staunch lover of my adopted hometown Reading, I was dogged off at John having to stand down purely because he’s gay. I had always thought Reading (along with my other great love Brighton) was one of the more liberal metropolises in the nation. Guess I may have been wrong.

    Presumably in other dioceses he wouldn’t even have got as far as being offered the position in the first place.

    Come to think of it, it *would* be a good idea for there to be a gay bishop – it would further reduce the wriggle-room for homophobes on “religious grounds”. Next stop, the fucking arsecunt Vatican child sex ring.

  5. […] Original post: C of E gay bishops ruling opens the way for Jeffrey John to replace Justin Welby […]

  6. Daz says:

    Absolutely brilliant comment on this from Louis, over at Pharyngula. Link.

  7. leftover says:

    Is this the Voice of Atheism or the voice of gay clerics?

  8. the Woggler says:

    Bill Lumsden nails it. One day you’re doing a perfectly god job as bishop. One night your urges are too much to resist and, boom, suddenly your not fit for the job anymore.

  9. barriejohn says:

    Il Papa’s after the “agnostics” now:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/religion/the-pope/9783819/Pope-Benedict-XVI-says-Church-must-stand-firm-against-intolerant-agnosticism.html

    Today’s regnant agnosticism has its own dogmas and is extremely intolerant regarding anything that would question it and the criteria it employs.

    No, I’m not making it up!

  10. RabbitOnAStick says:

    It always fascinated me that some people were particularly abhorred by ‘sexual crimes’ committed by two consenting male adults in the privacy of their own home. [being a lesbian was not a crime in England & Wakes as Q Victoria and her legislators didn’t believe women did that sort of thing, hence no law against it].

    The age old comment that “these ‘crimes’ then lead onto sexual deviant crimes being committed against children” are quite false. Unlike being a celibate paedophile priest which is almost a guarantee.

    who is the victim if anyone wants to do any sexual act to a consenting adult in private. Who is offended. Who is a victim. how is this degenerate. I find this logic simply astonishing, much like gawds utmost fascination with penises in general and circumcision in particular.

    i think much of this religious nonsense about homosexuality etc and marriage being between a man and a woman is more blatant monetary economics. As it costs money to marry in church etc. Now that civil marriages have for years, been held in many places other than churches, it has upset the monopoly hold the church had on filling their coffers, so the diatribe needs to continue to remind people where it’s best to have ‘a nice [church] wedding. Something I never understood.

  11. RabbitOnAStick says:

    BarrieJohn good post.

    But their is a grave error in it.

    the last bit should read as follows:

    “The promotion of “bel Giorgio” or “beautiful George” as the Italians call him, is the latest sign that the 56-year-old German has come OUT AS one of the Pope’s CLOSET advisers.”

  12. barriejohn says:

    The leader of a global group of traditional Anglicans in Kenya has condemned the Church of England for dropping its prohibition on gay clergy becoming bishops, providing they are in celibate or in celibate civil partnerships.

    The Independent reports Archbishop Eliud Wabukala, the Primate of Kenya and the leader of the influential Fellowship of Confessing Anglicans, saying:

    “It is a great sadness that before the New Year has hardly begun, the life of the Anglican Communion has yet again been clouded by compromise with the secular preoccupations of the West.”

    “Oh, matron!”

    http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2013/01/07/primate-of-kenya-warns-church-of-england-against-ordaining-gay-bishops/

  13. barriejohn says:

    Now same-sex marriage is “morally defective”:

    http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2013/01/07/archbishop-of-glasgow-same-sex-marriage-is-morally-defective/

    In a letter published in the Catholic journal, the Tablet, Archbishop Conti wrote:

    “While it is true, certainly within Catholic social teaching, that governments are not required to make all immoral actions illegal, to many it is unhelpful, unnecessary and indeed profoundly unwise for political action to do quite the opposite, namely to attempt through the law, by equating homosexual unions with heterosexual marriage, to render moral what is in itself morally defective.”

    He went on to say that the Catholic Church’s opposition must “surely be worthy of consideration” given its task to “promote the moral well being of society”.

    ROFL at that one!

  14. Marky Mark says:

    (John has been with his partner, a Church of England hospital chaplain, for nearly 40 years. They became civil partners in 2006, but he has always maintained that he is celibate.)

    …really !! So their just good friends than.

    (Holding hands across the table in restaurants is forbidden. Footsies under the table is permitted.)

    …WHAT !! What if one has a hole in their sock…would that not be risky foot play?

    (• Gay Bishops are allowed to talk to actresses, so long as the actresses are not left wing liberal lesbians who may encourage them to disregard the above rules.)

    …yep, them dam lesbians, always tempting the priests.

  15. Daz says:

    Marky Mark

    What if one has a hole in their sock…would that not be risky foot play?

    Not unless he’s extremely well-endowed!

    “My toe? No…” (giggles stereotypically campishly) “That’s not my toe.”

  16. barriejohn says:

    It doesn’t matter one little bit whether they are celibate or not:

    “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” (Matt. 5:28)

    I presume that the same principle would apply to same-sex attraction!