Can you believe this crap? Ohio man claims Jesus returned as a bird turd!

WHEN Stephen “Birdshit” Green, the notorious UK homo hater and Soldier for Christ was famously targeted by a sea gull in central Brighton whilst protesting against the “blasphemy” of Jerry Springer, the Opera, he didn’t pause long enough to examine his message from on high. He minced off in a huff to wash the shit off his shirt.

Had he paused to study the guano closer, he may have clocked what Jim Lawry of Brooklyn, Ohio, saw when a bird of an unspecified variety crapped on the windscreen of his car – the face of Jesus!

According to this latest – and possibly the most bizarre and tasteless report of pareidolia – Lawry is quoted as saying that, from the outside, the poop looked just like, well, poop.


But, claimed the silly man, viewed from the interior of the car:

It’s like a perfect portrait. It’s like Jesus staring right at me.

MSN was not convinced, saying:

It looks more like a dog wearing a wig than Jesus.

The Huff Post, pointing out that “sometimes one bird’s excrement can mean one human’s excitement” reported that last August Brandon Tudor of Illinois spotted a splattering on his windshield that he thought was a dead ringer for Michael Jackson. But Tudor’s plan to auction it on eBay was washed away in the rain.

Hat tip: Angela K & DC Brighton

27 responses to “Can you believe this crap? Ohio man claims Jesus returned as a bird turd!”

  1. barriejohn says:

    Little birdie flying high
    Drops a message from the sky;
    Says Farmer Brown wiping his eye:
    “Jesus Christ Almighty!”

    (Adapted – with apologies)

  2. bettydavis says:

    How do they know what Jesus looked like. he was probably small,fat and bald . no offence to small,fat bald guys out there.

  3. barriejohn says:

    @bettydavis: We DO know what he looked like, actually!

  4. barriejohn says:

    I’ve posted this before. Seems more believeable!

  5. David Anderson says:

    He who believeth in me, will believeth in any birdshit.

  6. barriejohn says:

    It’s not the only case:

    Can YOU see it?

  7. ZombieHunter says:

    I dont see jesus in that blob with the long streaky bit coming out it looks more like Chris Fehn from the band Slipknot 😛

  8. the Woggler says:

    Bettydavis – none taken. Just pray I don’t come back as Joan Crawford.

  9. Stonyground says:

    We once had a bird dropping on our bathroom window that looked vaguely like some random bearded guy. That’s all it was, a bird dropping that looked vaguely like some random bearded guy.

  10. Paul DeMunnik says:

    Why bother paying a licence fee for Rorschach Ink Blot Tests to determine an individual’s pre-occupations and loose wires when any old shit will do?

  11. L.Long says:

    But its nice to see that the xtian omni-everything gawd can make an image of himself – as imagined by western whites – in bird-shit. I’m impressed with his awesome powers as I’m sure this is a lot more difficult then feeding starving kids.

    Personally I really like the ‘doggie asshole jesus’ as it says so much in one image.

  12. barriejohn says:

    L.Long: One of my favourites, too! Cats, as one might expect, are far more classy:

  13. barriejohn says:

    PS If you follow the links on that last site you are guaranteed many hours of enjoyment!

  14. Mark O'Leary says:

    It looks like the Zig Zag Man.

  15. sailor1031 says:

    white rat with white wig!

  16. charlie says:

    They really “see” geezuz in birdshit? What does that say about their “god man”? Or their entire religion for that matter?

  17. Robster says:

    I’ll believe it when a lump of horse shit looks like the baby jesus, as we all know the baby jesus and his silly nonsense is all horse shit.

  18. L.Long says:

    You know it really irritates me when something as worthless as religion is compared to something as useful as horseshit or bullshit for growing healthy vegetables. I like comparing xtian beliefs to something really appropriate, like good xtian fascism. The (insert religion) beliefs are just dogmatic fascism! That frees up horseshit, bullshit, birdshit,and batshit free to do useful growing activities.

  19. Matt Westwood says:

    @L.Long: Brilliant comment, wish I’d thought of it.

  20. Guy Dalziel says:

    The human mind has evolved to recognise faces in everything. Anything which looks vaguely face like is often interpreted as such, such as they way a curtain happens to fall or a shadow on a wall. There are plenty of examples which demonstrate how the brain applies 3d form to facial objects, such as

    The fact this guy has seen a face and interpreted it as the face of his saviour, then that’s purely a matter of his interpretation of what he believes to be a face.

  21. Marky Mark says:

    “Stuff that looks like Jesus” = Basically anything that resembles a set of eyes and a mustache.

  22. John A says:

    It’s just occurred to me that I’ve spent about three minutes studying a piccie of bird shit on a car windscreen! Actually, it reminded me of when I was young, sitting in front of the fire trying to make out faces in the flames whilst toasting bread on the end of my toasting fork; halcyon days. Back then of course I was just a child amusing myself, not an adult announcing to the whole wide world that I’ve made out a face in some crap splattered on my car. For what it’s worth, speaking as a bit of an authority on the subject, in my considered opinion I’m pretty sure it’s actually a depiction of a Shetland pony that’s just met a rather unfortunate end at a halal butchers.