Can you believe this crap? Ohio man claims Jesus returned as a bird turd!

WHEN Stephen “Birdshit” Green, the notorious UK homo hater and Soldier for Christ was famously targeted by a sea gull in central Brighton whilst protesting against the “blasphemy” of Jerry Springer, the Opera, he didn’t pause long enough to examine his message from on high. He minced off in a huff to wash the shit off his shirt.

Had he paused to study the guano closer, he may have clocked what Jim Lawry of Brooklyn, Ohio, saw when a bird of an unspecified variety crapped on the windscreen of his car – the face of Jesus!

According to this latest – and possibly the most bizarre and tasteless report of pareidolia – Lawry is quoted as saying that, from the outside, the poop looked just like, well, poop.

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But, claimed the silly man, viewed from the interior of the car:

It’s like a perfect portrait. It’s like Jesus staring right at me.

MSN was not convinced, saying:

It looks more like a dog wearing a wig than Jesus.

The Huff Post, pointing out that “sometimes one bird’s excrement can mean one human’s excitement” reported that last August Brandon Tudor of Illinois spotted a splattering on his windshield that he thought was a dead ringer for Michael Jackson. But Tudor’s plan to auction it on eBay was washed away in the rain.

Hat tip: Angela K & DC Brighton