At last! An explanation for why Muslim men must wear beards

CLEAN-SHAVEN young men, according to a mad American Muslim hate preacher who was recently barred from speaking at the University of East London, tend to make Muslim males horny.

Imam Khalid Yasin. who once claimed that the US government created AIDS and asserted that “the Koran gives a clear position regarding homosexuality lesbianism and bestiality. … They are aberrations punishable by death”, raised laughter when he told an audience that:

The beard is a natural sign of manliness and it is a natural sign of distinguishing men from women. And among the companions of the Prophet, they used to not even look at a man who shaved his beard for fear they may have desire for him.

He added:

Allah cursed the women that looked like men and the men that looked like women.

Hat tip: Great Satan


40 responses to “At last! An explanation for why Muslim men must wear beards”

  1. Lucy 1 says:

    Ha ha ha ha…I could go on,

  2. Archie says:

    Oh! The brainlessness of it all!

  3. John A says:

    ‘Allah cursed the women that looked like men and the men that looked like women.’
    I bet he did, it must have been very confusing for the poor sod; although Muhammed never worried, as a pedophile he probably never even noticed the difference!

  4. barriejohn says:

    Better keep your mouth shut, matey: those red lips surrounded by such a thick bush could quite easily be mistaken for something entirely different!

    (Dr Desmond Morris) points out that when female primates are on heat the vagina area colours up to give a strong visual signal. Without these visual signs men would be looking for similar signs on women. So women with larger than usual red lips on her mouth would become attractive to men, as men will see this as being similar to the red lips of the vagina when they used to see when humans were on all fours. (Which might be one reason why we have oral sex, and many men have the desire to put their penises in women’s mouths). Likewise women with fleshy chests would also became attractive to men from the front as it reminds them of women’s buttocks. So it suggests that women have end up with breasts, large buttocks and red lips because of sexual selection. As women who have these attributes, are more likely to mate with men.

  5. Ivan says:

    It never ceases to amaze how closet cases inadvertently expose their latent desires through a desperation to be seen as straight by loudly condemning homosexuality.

    Martin Ssempa is another case in point.

  6. Daz says:

    So we have burkas to stop the men lusting after the women, beards to stop the men lusting after the men…

    They must be really bad at controlling their own lusts.

  7. Barry Duke says:

    Let’s face it Daz, Islam is bad at EVERYTHING, except brainlessness, which it does with consummate skill.

  8. Lurker111 says:

    “Let’s face it Daz, Islam is bad at EVERYTHING, except brainlessness, which it does with consummate skill.”

    It’s usually the case that the more you learn about a cultural topic, the less prejudiced one becomes. Then, alas, there is the exception. The more I learn about Islam, especially as practiced and taught today, the more I prefer our own religious nutcases.

  9. barriejohn says:

    Please – somebody – tell me that this is a parody!

  10. barriejohn says:

    Someone reminds these people to make sure that they shave their backs and knuckles. You’ve got to laugh!

  11. Trevor Blake says:

    “Today, Iran carries out more sex change operations than any other nation in the world except for Thailand. The government even provides up to half the cost for those needing financial assistance and a sex change is recognised on your birth certificate.”

  12. Matt Westwood says:

    The real WTF is that people think it’s their business to tell other people what to do with their hair, facial or otherwise. Are there really women in churches who order members of the congregation to shave? Sorry but they can kiss my arse.

    And then the reaction of the interviewer when confronted with the words “itching and sweating” – just like a seven-year-old girl when confronted with mud.

  13. Barry Duke says:

    BarrieJohn: Eamon the Albatross? Someone’s chain’s being yanked!

  14. barriejohn says:

    He’s serious, Barry!

  15. barriejohn says:

    This guy has come across old Aymon as well:

    He’s very amusing!

  16. AgentCormac says:


    The closing paragraph of that albatrus claptrap reads:
    “Let us follow our Beloved Master and Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, and His way in obedience to His Father. Jesus had a full beard; He is our example of holiness, from the inside out. There was no mistaking Jesus for a woman in His day. Let there be no mistaking of us as men in ours.”

    It reminded me of this:

  17. L.Long says:

    How do they know that Jesus had a beard???
    I don’t remember the buyBull mentioning his beard.

  18. barriejohn says:

    L.Long: He quotes from Isaiah.

    “I gave my back to those who strike, and my cheeks to those who pull out the beard; I hid not my face from disgrace and spitting.” (Isa 50:6)

    So someone who lived years before Jesus was born, writing about his own or someone else’s experiences (real or allegorical), or even a later writer who might possibly have added a few bits to Isaiah’s writings, says that somebody who is being punished has his beard pulled out and that is proof that Jesus had a beard!

    More such “proof” here:

  19. mikespeir says:

    Don’t think I’ve ever had that problem. ‘Course, maybe if I were Muslim….

  20. barriejohn says:

    Mikespeir: I wonder whether they are ever tempted when their fellow muzzies bend over at prayer time and present their balloon knot to their lips. Who knows?

  21. Barry Duke says:

    Nice piece about gay men and beards here:

  22. jay says:

    A recent experiment involved showing photos of women’s faces to a panel of men. The men rated as most attractive the women who were fertile at the time of the photo, but ONLY when they were not wearing makup. With makup in place the men picked the fertile women only by statistical average.

    Cosmetics consciously or unconsciously mimic fertility.

  23. Matt Westwood says:

    It’s true. It’s the only way women can get men to shag them. That’s the reason for the billions-and-billions-of-dollar industry that’s contributing heavily to Earth’s wholesale destruction.

  24. Graham Martin-Royle says:

    Barriejohn, if you’re going to post something like that, please give us a warning first! About the only thing worse would have been a photo of Widders! 🙁

  25. Matt Westwood says:

    Compare and contrast with the President of Argentina …

  26. Buffy says:

    So what do they do around boys, dare I ask?

  27. remigius says:

    And girls. Here’s Prophet Mohammad’s wedding photo…

  28. stargraves says:

    Phwoar Barrijohn – thanks for that pic of Jackie Stallone.

    I knew I’d seen her before somewhere…

  29. barriejohn says:

    Stargraves: I thought that perhaps this was the sort of look that she was after.

  30. T says:

    allah, or at least the primitive charlatans that invented the foolish notion, have cursed the whole fucking world.

    Can I ask if the women in the audience were so overwhelmed by this fools manliness ripped off their knickers and fought for his manly attentions. Or did the ladies present stick their fingers down their throats and throw up.

  31. Nallad says:

    Ummm, what about the fact that some men find a beard on other men rather attractive? Is it not concievable for these fucktards to understand that two men, with full, bushy beards, can love each other??? Moronic.

  32. Momo Baconcock says:

    Momo say

    Just because you have hair round your mouth, no need to talk like cunt

  33. barriejohn says:

    Nallad: At one time it was de rigueur for gay men to sport a moustache!

  34. Lazy Susan says:


    Please give some kind of warning when you post a link like that.

  35. barriejohn says:

    Lazy Susan: Which one?

  36. Lazy Susan says:

    BarrieJohn – The one with the moustache … eewwww

    Reminds me of Michael Howard. He made my skin creep. “Something of the night” Anne Widdecombe said, and she was spot on.

    Now I’m rambling about politicians … the latest one to make me laugh was somebody (Brigstock?) saying that Michael Gove, when they were finished with him for the day, was folded up and kept in a suitcase.

  37. tlbxxx says:

    Well, I do not know why the people laugh, but yes, having lived in Muslim countries, I have also discovered that. Beard is a sing of manliness and very manly guys (gays or not) tend to feel sexual attraction for unbearded young guys. While gay guys, tend to feel sexual attraction for bearded manly guys. Makes sense to me.