First they began gunning for The Gays, now religious Russian zealots are attacking … Pastafarians

A PARADE of Pastafarians in Moscow at the weekend was violently broken up by police assisted by  Russian Orthodox religious activists.

Click on pic for video

Click on pic for video

Moscow police told RIA Novosti that eight Pastafarians were detained for “attempting to hold an unsanctioned rally” in the city.

Followers of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster planned to hold a “pasta procession” in Moscow and St Petersburg to honour the birthday of Robert De Niro, who once played a character named Noodle in the movie Once Upon A Time in America.

The “pasta procession” in Moscow was disrupted by the Orthodox activist group Bozhaya Volya, or God’s Will, who sprayed ketchup on the march’s participants. The Orthodox group has held demonstrations against homosexuality, the punk rock group Pussy Riot, and the Darwin Natural History Museum.

Moscow police dispersed the marchers, claiming the procession was not sanctioned by authorities.

One Pastafarian wrote on a social networking website:

We were detained for simply walking. In particular, I was taken in for [having] a sieve on my head.

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster came into being thanks to a sarcastic letter Bobby Henderson sent to the Kansas Board of Education over the teaching of Intelligent Design in 2005. Pastafarians believe the theory of gravity is a hoax. Things stay on the ground rather than float away because the invisible Flying Spaghetti Monster holds them down with his noodly appendages.

Earlier this month, Russia enacted a law that makes “insulting the religious sensitivities of believers” a crime.


35 responses to “First they began gunning for The Gays, now religious Russian zealots are attacking … Pastafarians”

  1. Ivan says:

    This is pasta joke.

  2. […] A PARADE of Pastafarians in Moscow at the weekend was violently broken up by police assisted by Russian Orthodox religious activists. Moscow police told RIA Novosti that eight Pastafarians were […]  […]

  3. Broga says:

    “Russia enacted a law that makes “insulting the religious sensitivities of believers” a crime.”

    From the UK experience that means everyone is a criminal including those who claim to be insulted. There is no religious person who does not feel insulted by those who do not share their personal superstition.

  4. Ged Warren says:

    Surely under th ne law Russian police are obliged to protect pastafarians from those who would deny his noodly goodness?

  5. barriejohn says:

    Broga: “Everyone is a criminal”.

  6. L.Long says:

    There has been this discussion about religion being bad.
    Its not so much faith in something as it is dogmatic Aholes that exist in religion and gov’mint striving for power and control.
    But the worse part are the mindless sheeple that follow and allow this to continue. It is the people as a whole that support this behavior. Of coarse in a dogmatic dictatorship this can be a really bad problem.
    People as a whole like being beat up and bossed around. I.E…
    Russia has been stuck in a dictatorship since before the czar, and now they have Putin and the phuckin church! In the USA they have the repukeians in power and with the relious support are stompin on everyone and their hard won social gains.

  7. K Manus says:

    First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out–
    Because I was not a Socialist.

    Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out–
    Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

    Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out–
    Because I was not a Jew.

    Then they came for me–and there was no one left to speak for me.

  8. Pete Smith says:

    As a Supreme Grand Arch-Wizard of Her Sublime Pinkness, She Who Raptures Socks, The Invisible Pink Unicorn (BBHUH), I strongly object to the heretical Pastafarians parading their false god in public.

  9. Richard says:


  10. Matt+Westwood says:

    In response to Broga’s post:

    “[Keith Vaz] later said: “Those of us who were part of passing this legislation certainly would not have expected it to be used in a case of this kind.”

    Well I’m going to be the first to say, “I told you so, stupid.”

  11. Broga says:

    @barriejohn: They just love those terror laws, don’t they? Anyway, now for some real criminals. I see that at 11.20 p.m. tonight BBC2 is showing “Sins of the Fathers” which is looking a the “allegations of physical and sexual abuse at a prestigious Catholic boarding school in Scotland.”

    Late enough for most people to miss it and I don’t suppose that it will be a subject on TfTD. I suppose we should be grateful that the BBC is showing the programme at all. It was first shown on BBC1 Scotland.

  12. T says:

    A lesson from history…..This is what you get when a ruthless psychopathic dictatorial bully and religious fundamentalist zealots get together. Humanity has not learned the lesson…..WW3 is brewing up right now. All the religio-political vectors are in place with christians on one side with islamofacism in opposition. Try to stir these volatile immiscible confabulations with overstretched water supply, spiralling fuel costs, global warming, economic instability, pandemic disease, famine and thermo-nuclear weapons in the hands of semi primitive lunatics who know what god wants you will ignite another and possibly terminal conflict. Humanity is self destructive exactly because the pious stoke the fires of intolerance and hatred.

  13. jay says:


    Looks like deja vu. Back in the 90s when the feds (lead by another ‘liberal ‘ Democrat president) were prosecuting people for distributing cryptographic software or even simply linking to it groups like cypherpunks (I was there) did their best to spread this technology. Now we have a reinvigorated NSA starting to play clandestine hardball again. Witnesses the lavabit shutdown and gag order.

    Looks like the cease fire is over.

  14. Broga says:

    @T: In the toxic stew you describe the most dangerous and volatile element is the conviction of the various participants that their God will ensure that they win. It is the same element that enables demented fundamentalists to believe that they are authorised by their God to trash the planet and exterminate its inhabitants because it belongs to them.

    Meanwhile, on a planet which has run short of water, is in many places suffocating from polluted air and has wrecked the environment the various groups encourage their followers to breed without restraint.

    In this vicious and violent mix it is truly extraordinary to witness the trivia which obsesses the religious e.g. what we do in bed with each other. And the focus of politicians on exalting their own fame and power. Meanwhile, we ride towards hell at ever increasing speed.

  15. AgentCormac says:

    @ T

    Having grown up in the fear-suffused era of the Cold War, I can assure you that your concerns aren’t new. However, that isn’t to say they aren’t legitimate. But what I would say to you is that these days we aren’t dealing with two behemoth superpowers snarling at each other over some metaphorical iron curtain (as Winston Churchill termed it), with nuclear arsenals primed and ready to fly. Putin is a horrible little bully, but Russia is a shadow of the player it used to be. And while islamists have become a colossal pain in the arse all over the globe, this isn’t a nation with an army we’re talking about – it’s a ragtag collection of religiots who hate each other every bit as much as they hate everybody else when nationality is taken into consideration.

    Having said all which, your inclusion of the issues of fresh water supply and global warming as potential catalysts for future wars are spot on. I honestly believe that these will be the factors that spark conflict from here on in. I came across a very good, very frightening, article recently about our over-consumtion and its potential consequences (link below). Some of the stats were scary beyond belief:

    …it takes around 3,000 litres of water to produce a burger. In 2012 around five billion burgers were consumed in the UK alone. That’s 15 trillion litres of water – on burgers. Just in the UK. Something like 14 billion burgers were consumed in the United States in 2012. That’s around 42 trillion litres of water. To produce burgers in the US. In one year. It takes around 9,000 litres of water to produce a chicken. In the UK alone we consumed around one billion chickens in 2012. It takes around 27,000 litres of water to produce one kilogram of chocolate. That’s roughly 2,700 litres of water per bar of chocolate. This should surely be something to think about while you’re curled up on the sofa eating it in your pyjamas.

    But I have bad news about pyjamas. Because I’m afraid your cotton pyjamas take 9,000 litres of water to produce. And it takes 100 litres of water to produce a cup of coffee. And that’s before any water has actually been added to your coffee. We probably drank about 20 billion cups of coffee last year in the UK. And – irony of ironies – it takes something like four litres of water to produce a one-litre plastic bottle of water. Last year, in the UK alone, we bought, drank and threw away nine billion plastic water bottles. That is 36 billion litres of water, used completely unnecessarily. Water wasted to produce bottles – for water. And it takes around 72,000 litres of water to produce one of the ‘chips’ that typically powers your laptop, Sat Nav, phone, iPad and your car. There were over two billion such chips produced in 2012. That is at least 145 trillion litres of water. On semiconductor chips. In short, we’re consuming water, like food, at a rate that is completely unsustainable.

  16. T says:

    The pious foresee Armageddon and they are bent on realising that ambition. Pity they have to take the rational with them. Shame they don’t move themselves nearer to their god by gathering themselves together in a remote place and blow themselves up. The world would be a better place.

  17. barriejohn says:

    T: Evangelical Christians actually welcome worldwide unrest, as to them it foreshadows the “Coming of the Lord”. I knew Christians who said that we should rejoice over what they saw as the increasing ungodliness in the world for this very reason: it meant that “the Lord’s return” was very imminent indeed (this was at least thirty years ago). Billy Graham was forecasting the total collapse of law and order, saying that America was now ungovernable, in the days of Richard Nixon, but somehow or other we’ve all managed to muddle on in the days since!

    Note: The above is not meant to be taken as doctrine; it is speculation. But there is enough Scriptural support for it that we can expect that whatever really happens at the actual Second Coming of Christ will almost certainly resemble this scenario.

    Just in case you were wondering!

  18. Broga says:

    Didn’t Jesus expect the end of the world within the lifetime of his followers? There is an amazing irony in all this. Our ape brains have enabled us to land on the Moon, split the atom and get a grip on comprehending the size and complexity of the cosmos. Meanwhile, the same brains, have left us bereft of the wisdom to create a planet which potentially could provide our species with a wonderful place to live. Instead we seem hell bent on continuing to wreck the place in which we need to live.

  19. Brummie says:

    In short, the two things that signal our demise as a species – religion and overpopulation – are within our control if we choose to act. I suspect we won’t.
    Does it matter?

  20. Matt+Westwood says:

    “Does it matter?”

    Doubt it. I reckon we’re already fucked. In fact, the *only way* the human race will survive is by a *colossal* depopulation of the Earth in a *very* short space of time.

    The rulers and the rich appreciate this, which is why they are blithely grabbing as much as they can while at the same time doing everything they can to provoke the rest of the world into the biggest, nastiest and most destructive war the world has ever seen.

    I expect I’ll probably die in that war, about which I’m philosophical – I’ve done far more cool stuff than I ever anticipated I would so I’m not regretful about the stuff I’ve missed, and I expect the fireworks will be spectacular to watch, and there’s damn-all I can do about it except make lots of loud noises which is all a bit futile, so basically, fuck it.

    Who will survive? Jaz Coleman put it best, in his Courtauld Talks: in the northern hemisphere: whoever lives in the underground bunkers. In the southern hemisphere: isolated tribes in the high remote places.

  21. Robster says:

    De Niro’s birthday! They perhaps could’ve chosen a more suitable day on the collander.

  22. Ian says:

    @ Ivan ~ that’s terrible!

  23. Broga says:

    “Does it matte?”

    Only to the individual. We are clinging to a speck of rock amidst billions of other specks. In geological time we are a mere flicker. The dinosaurs lived for 100 million years while humans have existed in our present form for a very few millions at the most. The natural miracle is that we are here at all – any of us. It does seem a shame that, having got this far, we could not have made a better job of our existence.

    Nature, or the cosmos, is utterly indifferent to us or our fate. This is one aspect of life which the religionuts have got so wrong. They are so besotted with themselves that they think they are valued by a supreme and omniscient God. It is this warped thinking which so detaches them from reality and inserts so many of their destructive beliefs.

    “I exist,” said the human to the Cosmos.

    “That”, said the Cosmos, “is of no concern to me.”

  24. AgentCormac says:

    Interesting trailer of eco animation from Aardman to Pink Floy’ds ‘Eclipse’ track.

  25. david says:

    @Jay, and there you go losing all your credibility in one fell swoop.

    You act like the NSA just started doing this when Obama got into office.

    They’ve been doing this the entire time, since the laws were passed during the Bush presidency, it’s just now that we have an actual whistle blower in the mix.

    If you think for one second a republican president is any different from a democrat then you are brainwashed too far to help.

    Get an education, the entire government is flawed, not just one party.

  26. ullrich fischer says:

    Stalin is always held up by faith-heads as an example of the inevitable moral turpitude of atheists. These a-holes pretty clearly show that in fact, organized religion has a near-monopoly on immoral acts.

  27. […] is cracking down on Pastafarians. Pizzafarians are still a-ok. (Freethinker via […]

  28. AgentCormac says:

    It seems Russian pole-vaulter Yelena Isinbayeva has been given a tentative rap on the knuckles for claiming that gay people ‘aren’t normal’. Apparently she criticised Swedish athletes Emma Green Tregaro and Moa Hjelmer for painting their fingernails in rainbow colours.

    And guess what, Isinbayeva is thought to be “close to the circle of President Putin”.

    No shit, Sherlock.

  29. AgentCormac says:

    Sorry, forgot to link to the report:

  30. barriejohn says:

    The IOC seem to have fallen asleep. They have already tied themselves in knots by stating that Russian law is not compatible with the Olympic spirit, but that athletes are expected to “respect” it anyway (?), and now this:

  31. JohnMWhite says:

    The IOC aren’t so much asleep as too high on champagne supernovas to give a shit what happens to people without yachts and country club memberships.

  32. barriejohn says:

    JMW: Are there still such people in the world?

  33. JohnMWhite says:

    Wouldn’t know, old bean. I suppose somebody has to scrape the barnacles off my hull, though.