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Crackpot Christian outfit furious over spoof reports of their ‘gay to straight’ initiatives

PCC

PEOPLE can Change exists to help gay men:

• To be free from the constant pull of homosexual desires…

• To have deeply fulfilling non-sexual friendships with other men, and to belong to a close community of men…

• Perhaps to have a happy marriage, to be a loving father, or else to be contentedly single…

• To live a life we feel is aligned with God’s will for us…

And it’s outraged over a recent a National Report item that claimed:

Beginning November 1 of this year, the state of Arizona is implementing a mandatory school program designed for all children grades K-12 to help homosexual males and women become straight. The controversial conversion therapy will be used in all of Arizona’s 2,325 public school curriculums and is already gathering a large amount of criticism as well as those who approve of the new program.

PCC is outraged, and issued this denial on its website:

The satirical website National Report has issued a FAKE news story alleging that People Can Change programs have been adopted by Arizona public schools. In fact, the spokesperson is fake, the interview is fake, the photo with Arizona Governor Jan Brewer is fake, the press conference is fake – and the quotes are fake, rude, and demeaning of gays.

This satire is not reflective of our organizational values, including compassion, understanding and respect for all who deal with or have ever dealt with homosexuality, however they may choose to address it in their lives.

People Can Change does not provide programs or services for minors. We are a peer-led support organization of men who have personally experienced significant change from unwanted same-sex attractions ourselves and who now share our experience and give support to other adults who voluntarily seek similar change.

National Report  then took another swing at PCC with a fresh report claiming that Milwaukee County Sheriff David A Clarke has announced that the Milwaukee County Sheriff’s Office will participate in a trial “ride-along programme” with PCC members:

To assist in dealing with the outbreak of homosexuality in South East Wisconsin.

The scheme will allow PCC reps to:

Ride with sheriff seputies on patrol, especially in neighborhoods where a high incidence of homosexuality has been reported. Subjects in the target group will be identified and counselled during routine patrol stops, given literature and the kind of supportive spiritual outreach that can make a difference in a young ma

n’s life to hopefully precipitate his conversion to a more fulfilling life.

The PCC folk:

Will counsel the victims of homosexuality and assist them in dealing with the various stigmas and disgraces associated with their sexual orientation choice. While accepting the notion that not every person can be saved by PCC ministries, they share the belief along with the Milwaukee County Sheriff’s Office that compassionate counsel and the influence of a higher power deity can affect positive change in the hearts of guilt ridden homosexual males.

The report adds:

People for Change is a non-profit organization that helps those steeped in the guilt of their homosexual sins to become right with their creator and their own manhood. Their mission is to support and guide men who seek to transition away from homosexuality toward a clean and healthy lifestyle.

A number of people reading the report failed to spot the satire. Someone called Philo van Rood commented:

I keep looking for evidence that this is satire, as it’s a completely insane and stupid idea, but I think this person is actually serious. When will bigots just do the world a favor and kill themselves? I almost want to move to Milwaukee and pretend to be gay just to annoy people like this.

Barbara Bagwell, who I suspect did spot the spoof, responded:

Philo, Please for all that is good and right in this world, do not pretend to be gay. The gays will sense your subterfuge. This will result in a gay rage that will be pounded upon your body and soul like a thousand wasps in the fifth circle of Dante’s Inferno. A wrong does not take a left. You could end up a liberal, which means you won’t earn a place at the table when Ted Cruz is elected and exports all the homosexuals, foreigners and feminist women to Canada. Do you really want to be Canadian? They eat horrible things on fries.

There ... fixed it for them (thanks Angela for suggesting it)

There … fixed it for them (thanks Angela for suggesting it)

 

15 Responses to “Crackpot Christian outfit furious over spoof reports of their ‘gay to straight’ initiatives”

  1. Daz says:

    Gadzooks, but there’s all sorts of badly spelled ugly in the comments! This retort brought a smile though:

    Brian

    Facts Melissa? The biological fact is that a man’s penis is not intended for another man’s anus.

    Brand K.

    Trust me. It absolutely is. Try it sometime.

  2. Canada Dave says:

    “They eat horrible things on fries.”

    Ah yes …fries with gravy and melted cheese….a taste that dare not speak it’s name……Poutine….invented in Quebec and coming to a fast food outlet near you soon.

  3. Broga says:

    I liked “an outbreak of homosexuality” which makes it sound like measles. And what about the references (yes, I know they are satirical) to “steeped in homosexual guilt.” Isn’t it a main aim of the Christian religion, and particularly the RC version, to steep everyone in sexual guilt, including heterosexual?

    They want to ensure that no one actually enjoys sex – it is there for breeding. And if the guilt is made strong enough priests, the RC version supposedly celibate, step in to alleviate the guilt. How terrible that anyone should actually get sexual pleasure from their partner.

    This kind of satire has much to offer for the ridicule of religion in general. For example, science lessons in all schools to teach children quantum theory which enables every creature on the planet to be fitted into the ark.

  4. Lurker111 says:

    Exactly -what- is wrong with french fries in brown gravy???

    Besides the fact that I can hear my arteries whimpering …

  5. L.Long says:

    WTF!?! Fries are POTATOES so what is wrong with potatoes and gravy with some cheese??? Yummy!!

    But we all know that they are right gays can change, its a fact!
    Ya Know like…
    Cheeses thinks its better to cut you penis off for him!
    Abstinence sex ed is 100% effective!
    Xtians don’t get divorces because Cheeses said not to!
    And all the rest of their BS that THEY don’t do like
    the xtain men would NEVER put their penis up some Xtian woman’s butt!!
    You have to love these xtians who follow Cheeses word!
    Especially since Cheeses NEVER said anything against gays!!!

  6. Trevor Blake says:

    “our organizational values, including compassion, understanding and respect for all who deal with or have ever dealt with homosexuality, however they may choose to address it in their lives.”

    Presumably, the organizational values mentioned would be as follows:

    “If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.” (Leviticus 20:13)

    Because killing homosexuals is what Jesus Christ said He wanted to happen:

    “Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or tittle shall nowise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:18-19)

  7. Angela_K says:

    It is a great spoof. I’m certain someone with Photoshop skills could redo the PCC advert above to “Men/Women who have resolved unwanted religious interference” or “Children who have resolved unwanted attention from Paedophile Priests”.

  8. JohnMWhite says:

    The satirical website National Report has issued a FAKE news story

    You don’t say?

    This whole thing could have stopped right there. Why is it that conservatives have no sense of humour?

  9. Barry Duke says:

    If conservatives had a sense of humour they wouldn’t be conservatives, John.

  10. jay says:

    Actually zealots of any stripe tend to be humor impaired.

  11. Daniel Leyva says:

    The “ex-gay” myth is just a way conservatives use to make money.

  12. Barry Duke says:

    Brilliant idea Angela. I have incorporated your suggestion into the main post. Thanks!

  13. tony e says:

    The satirical website National Report has issued a FAKE news story alleging that People Can Change programs have been adopted by Arizona public schools. In fact, the spokesperson is FAKE, the interview is FAKE, the photo with Arizona Governor Jan Brewer is FAKE, the press conference is FAKE – and the quotes are FAKE, rude, and demeaning of gays. (My emphasis).

    Only missing one item, my god – FAKE.

  14. 1859 says:

    ‘Gays needs to be “saved” ‘ WE DON”T NEED, OR WANT SAVING !!! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICKENED FUCKING SKULLS – WE ARE HAPPY BEING WHO WE ARE!! HUMAN! The people who need “changing” are those in the PCC! It is THEY who need to be saved! Holy shit! I’m sick of this dumb-arsed ignorance!

  15. barriejohn says:

    How on earth does this vile organization have the audacity to talk about statements which are “demeaning of gays” when they advertise Journey Into Manhood weekends for homosexuals on their website? They are truly beyond parody.

    http://www.peoplecanchange.com/about/mission.php

    Our Vision

    We envision a world in which all people with unwanted same-sex attractions who wish to reduce or eliminate their homosexual feelings have access to meaningful and effective resources and successful role models, and are free to pursue a path of change, if they so choose, without shame or ridicule.

    Who said they can’t?