Prejudice on a plate: Another restaurant worker in the US gets homophobic abuse in lieu of a tip

A WHILE back we reported on the despicable action of a Christian couple who left a young waiter in Kansas with a homophobic note instead of a tip.

Well, it’s happened again!

This time in New Jersey, at the Gallop Asian Bistro in Bridgewater.

When Dayna Morales – who served with the Marines for two years from 2009 – introduced herself to a couple and their two children, the mother was allegedly shocked by Morales’ short hair, and said:

Oh I thought you were gonna say your name is Dan. You sure surprised us!

At the end of the meal, Morales was left with no tip on the $93.55 bill. Instead, she found a note on the receipt, reading:

I’m sorry but I cannot tip because I don’t agree with your lifestyle & how you live your life.

Dayna Morales, pictured as a Marine, and the bill that stiffed her,

Dayna Morales, pictured as a Marine, and the bill that denied her a tip and blasted her for being gay

Unlike the Kansas incident this family did not identify as Christians, but I think we can safely assume that they were.

The note left for the unnamed 20-year-old Kansas waiter read:

Thank you for your service, it was excellent. That being said, we cannot in good conscience tip you, for your homosexual lifestyle is an affront to GOD.

Queers do not share in the wealth of GOD, and you will not share in ours. We hope you will see the tip your fag choices made you lose out on, and plan accordingly.

It is never too late for GOD’S love, but none shall be spared for fags. May GOD have mercy on you.

Morales reacted angrily by penning a note she put online, and it found its way onto Facebook:

I am THOROUGHLY offended mad pissed off and hurt that THIS is what her kids will grow up learning and that I served in the Marines to keep ignorant people like them free. Sorry lady but I don’t agree with YOUR lifestyle and the way you’re raising your kids but you didn’t see me throwing that in your face and giving you shitty service. Keep your damn mouth shut and pray we never cross paths again.

Facebook users offered their support to Morales in response to the post. One person wrote:

As a member of the heterosexual community, I beg your forgiveness for these ignorant people.

Another wrote:

I always tip 15 percent to 20 percent no matter who my server is, what my server does out side of the place is none of my business.

Morales’ experience went viral, and she received an avalanche of messages and donations from around the globe.

People have sent me tips from all over the world just to show support. I have had people from Germany to South Africa, Australia to the UK, San Diego, everywhere … It’s great to see everybody’s support and I’m thankful for it, but it doesn’t excuse or change the fact that it actually did happen.

She revealed she had received around $2,000 thus far.

It wasn’t for the money. I never planned on this. I just wanted to vent. The purpose was to inform people it wasn’t OK.

Now Morales wants to help others by giving a portion of the money to the Wounded Warrior Project to help injured servicemen and women.

Morales’ employer plans to match every donation. The waitress also told the Asbury Park Press that her boss was not mad she posted the check to Facebook, and spoke of the support she had from colleagues:

We are kind of a big family so they all took it to heart. My manager assured me that if they had seen the check before the family left they would have confronted them.

After the Kansas story went viral, Willy Blackmore, food editor for the US Take Part website, wrote:

Here are a few things not to take into account when calculating the tip you leave on a restaurant check. Your tip should not be contingent on your server’s race. It should not be withheld, dudes, if the attractive female server didn’t deign to flirt with you. It shouldn’t be a pittance because you just can’t afford to give anymore—that means you can’t afford the meal in the first place.

You certainly should not bring your personal religious beliefs, contra your server’s sexuality, into consideration.

A restaurant, he concluded:

Is not a space to make some moral crusade. 

If you want to offer your support, donations to Morales for the Wounded Warrior Project can be sent to Gallop Asian Bistro, 793 Route 202, Branchburg, NJ 08876, or can be delivered in person.

NOTE: I just discovered that Reddit Atheism has launched its annual charity drive. Its aim is to raise $10,000 or more for Doctors Without Borders (Médecins Sans Frontières):

Greetings heathens! The days are getting shorter, the winter solstice is upon us, the tax year is ending, and it’s time once again for the annual r/atheism end-of-year charity drive. As usual, our charity is going to be Doctors Without Borders (Médecins Sans Frontières).

Doctors Without Borders provides medical relief to the world’s most needy people, and they provide aid without regard to race, religion, or political affiliation, and without a religious agenda. Right now they’re in the Philippines providing relief to those who were hit by typhoon Haiyan, and they really need our help to make that happen.

23 responses to “Prejudice on a plate: Another restaurant worker in the US gets homophobic abuse in lieu of a tip”

  1. barriejohn says:

    This story doesn’t seem to appear on the Home page.

  2. Sally in MI says:

    I will be sending her a tip myself. Last year I sent money to that soup kitchen that Paul Ryan faked washing dishes in in Ohio.
    The conservatives may try to usurp Christianity for themselves, but they do not show any signs of ever having read the New Testament. It is easy to be suspicious and hateful; much harder to actually live the way Jesus taught. These people take the easy way out…a $100 check and she refused to tip? Yeah, Mom, great role model for your children you are. Fearful, angry, and vindictive.

  3. Trevor Blake says:

    At least one of the people said to have left such a note is contesting it. I predict a reason there are more of these reciept notes in the news is that some of them are faked – faked to get attention, get customers for the business, get donations, or due to mental illness or moral weakness. Greed and lies and craziness can show up anywhere, and skepticism is a way to keep them tamped down. I make no claim this particular one is fake, but I predict some of them will have been faked.

  4. barriejohn says:

    “Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.”

    That’s what the New Testament says!

  5. Bubblecar says:

    Barriejohn, then how come Jesus is always depicted as a long-haired hippy?

  6. barriejohn says:

    Bubblecar: Good point, and of course the people who painted the icons were “divinely inspired”, so THEY must be an accurate representation.

    For inspiration, religious artists looked to “miraculous” likenesses of Christ. The Turin Shroud (said to have been used in Christ’s burial) is the most famous relic bearing his features, but it is not the only one.

    The Veil of Veronica was a cloth said to have been held out to Jesus, and to have taken his image, as he was led to his crucifixion at Calvary. Despite being lost in the 1500s, it still informs our ideas of what Jesus actually looked like.
    Paintings based on such “true likenesses” of Christ received a boost when worshipers were told in the Middle Ages they could knock up to 10,000 years off their time in purgatory by praying in front them.

    Oh my gawd!

  7. Barry Duke says:

    In my hippy hair days, BarrieJohn, I had a pamphlet shoved into my hand by a a purse-lipped street preacher. It was a copy of a leaflet written by a loopy English Christian, Thomas Hall. It was called “The Loathsomenesse of Long Haire”, written in 1654, and was positively the funniest thing I ever ever read. I even got a feature article out of it for a magazine, for which I received a generous fee. I could not find the text of the pamphlet, but I did find this, which is almost as funny:
    Hall considered long hair worn by young men as a “disease” which he thought had spread from Poland to England.

  8. Peterat says:

    Silly Bubblecar, this explains the whole conundru ( or NOT!)

    In an attempt to unpack this, we must start by noting that in first century Rome, the head covering was the sign of a woman being married. Since this was the social norm that was followed, if a wife were to go about with her head uncovered or her hair cut short it brought dishonor and disgrace upon both her and her husband. It seems that Paul is aware of an issue in the church, where women were uncovering their heads, thinking they were free to violate important cultural traditions. However, Paul says that such actions were shameful and should be avoided as much as possible.

    While looking at the context of what is being said, Paul appears to be saying that it is unnatural for a man to exercise the cultural norms of the opposite sex, as it may come across to others as though he wishes he were actually a member of the opposite sex.

    Contrary to popular belief, we are supposed to observe what Paul says in 1 Corinthians, but in a way that is culturally relevant.

    We see in 1 Cor 11:2 that Paul commends his readers for keeping up with the traditions that he passed on to them. It is important to note that while Paul says that failure to observe these traditions may be dishonorable and disgraceful (1 Cor 11:4-6), he never mentions them as sinful. It appears that their purpose it a cultural exercise of reverence and honor to God as representations of the authority structure he has put in place as Christ being the head of man and man being the head of woman (1 Cor 11:3).

    As a result, we ought to find similar ways, according to our culture to do the same thing. For much of the western world, we do this by the wearing of wedding rings

  9. Peterat says:

    See? It’s all about “cultural relevance” – from Bronze Age Palestine!

  10. jay says:

    This and a couple of other incidents have sort of become a media buzz at the moment. It’s an offensive (but small) incident and should not be given excessive status (unlike the people really persecuted, beaten or killed) .

    People do ignorant rude things all the time for all kinds of reasons. We really don’t want to sound like we’re crying ‘persecution ‘ over this the way some Christians do.

  11. barriejohn says:

    Barry: I knew many Christians amongst the Brethren, in the 60s & 70s, who went absolutely “berkserk” (as the late Derek Guyler used to say) over the habit of young men of that era of wearing their hair long. I knew some who were not allowed to “break bread” of a Sunday Morning, and were humiliatingly forced to “sit at the back”, as their appearance “caused confusion”.

    This guy is typical, and I don’t think that he was writing in the Seventeenth Century (living there – maybe):

    Recently, I was watching some Gospel music and noticed one of the members in a fairly popular group (non-rock and roll) who had long hair. I have to say non-rock and roll because many of the religious rock and rollers sport the latest sodomite long haircuts and clothing styles. At any rate this singer had hair that went to the top-middle of his back. When I saw him singing I was wondering if he realized that he was in bad need of a haircut. His other group members have normal masculine cuts to their hair and the group produces good music overall as far as I can tell. Yet one of the members looks like a ‘freak’ with his long hair.

    I’ve talked to men with long hair in days past and suggested they get haircuts. I usually get a similar reaction to my suggestion…

    I know what I would say!

  12. Barry Duke says:

    Bloody hell, Barrie … and this was written when? This freak sure likes the word “freak”. As for long hair being “effeminate”, some of the butchest guys I’ve known have been anything but girly. This one, for instance:

  13. 1859 says:

    The longer the hair the more irreligious a person is? So, the shorter the hair the more pious they are? So all priests, popes, imams, rabbis should all be bald? God should be bald. But…the logic defeats me…

    The people who wrote on the bill? Neandertals!

  14. barriejohn says:

    1859: If “God” wanted men to have short hair he only needed to do one thing – ensure that men’s hair didn’t grow long!

  15. Robster says:

    “For inspiration, religious artists looked to “miraculous” likenesses of Christ”. So the magic Jesus polaroid image is still missing. I recon, it’s hidden somewhere with Joe Smith’s Mormon gold plates, that lost ark the raiders were looking for and that goldy coloured stick thing the clerics wield in Hollywood biblical epics. No doubt though, the Polaroid would be the most “miraculous”, appearing after only sixty seconds!

  16. 1859 says:

    No Barriejohn! You obviously can’t get inside the mind of ‘god’ – He did it to test our loyalty!….I wonder what the reasons are for the islamic fundies to grow their beards? It would seem for them the longer the beard the closer to allah you get?

  17. Steve Jackson says:

    “If God had intended us to take showers, he would have given us armpits that faced upwards”

  18. barriejohn says:

    1859: I’d forgotten that. I must be getting rusty inmy old age. I actually knew people who thought that he had put fossils in the earth to test their faith!

    And if God had wanted us to read the Bible he wouldn’t have given us a brain.


  19. barriejohn says:

    What might be in store for them if they return:

  20. Trevor Blake says:

    It appears, a few weeks later, that Ms. Morales was less than honest. Here is an aptly mocking post with the details…

    Every fake report like this takes away resources and credibility from real reports of oppression. For that reason, cruelty is an appropriate response. The people who donated thousands of dollars to her – the charity she did not contribute the money to – the periodicals she duped – the restaurant she falsified a receipt at – the family she slurred – they may have other more damning responses. For me, I’ll just point and say shame, shame, shame on you Ms. Morales.

  21. […] EARLIER this year, we carried a piece about a waiter in who, in lieu of a tip, received an abusive note scrawled on the bill by a Christian couple. Last month, we reported a similar incident, involving Dayna Morales, a New Jersey waitress. […]