Amazon gets a roasting over Jesus toaster. Vermont manufacturer pulls its product from the retail giant

A VERMONT company that makes speciality toasters which produce images of Jesus and the “Virgin” Mary, among other iconic figures, will no longer be using Amazon to sell its wares because of a fiscal disagreement.


According to this report, the Jesus toaster was the #32 best-selling toaster on Amazon this Christmas, but the Vermont Novelty Toaster Corporation, creators of the Burnt Impressions brand, got the hump over the fact Amazon has withheld half their sales over the last two weeks while the giant online retailer “reviews” the company’s account.

Said says the toaster company’s CEO, Galen Dively:

This happened last year. We are a small business and this really hurts our cash flow. I have to wait weeks to recoup my shipping costs because of this

He added:

Every Christmas our sales soar above our ‘limited Velocity amount’, triggering an account review allowing Amazon to withhold half our sales until the review ends. I have been on the phone for the last two weeks with them getting nowhere on this issue despite my 100% seller rating and flawless customer service.

Amazon takes almost $8 for every toaster I sell in fees. They take 15% of all proceeds, including shipping charges. Normally, I pay for my shipping upfront then have to wait two weeks for the money Amazon collects from our customers to be deposited in my bank. This delays payment up to a month. I will take that money and promote our website.


The toaster company’s website,, has quadrupled sales every year since the company was founded. Asked if the loss of sales on Amazon will hurt the company, Dively stated:

It will be felt for sure; they are a huge resource of millions of customers, but at this point I am feeling confident we can use the thousands of dollars Amazon makes off our toasters each year to successfully promote sales on our website. We control our branding better this way also.

Besides the best-selling Jesus toaster, Vermont Novelty Toaster Corp. pulled from Amazon toasters that create toasty images of Obama, Sarah Palin, the Virgin Mary, butterflies, peace signs, penises, cannabis leaves, paw prints, and many more.

Will we be seeing a Mohammed toaster?  Probably not!


On that note, may I take the opportunity of wishing supporters of the Freethinker a happy, carefree winter solstice.


18 responses to “Amazon gets a roasting over Jesus toaster. Vermont manufacturer pulls its product from the retail giant”

  1. barriejohn says:

    Brilliant – I want one!

  2. Angela_K says:

    Wow, a Jesus Toaster, so that is how they make those so called miracle images.

  3. AgentCormac says:

    Here we go again. Christians are ‘…the most widely persecuted religious group in the world today…’. Or so thinks Archbishop Vincent Nichols, leader of the rcc in England and Wales. Yawn.

  4. Broga says:

    @AgentCormac: The persecution is inter religious. Not something they want to mention. One lot of believers persecuting another lot and sometimes within the same faith. Christians have done their share of persecuting over the centuries.

    Probably won’t be too long before Warsi the Minister of Faith tries to blame this on the devilish atheists.

    I’ve decided not to buy a Jesus toaster. I pass a detailed, life size, agonised, emaciated Jesus nailed up outside an RC Church I pass. This torture, exhibited on a public road, seems to be regarded as quite normal.

  5. barriejohn says:

    Of course Christians are “the most widely persecuted religious group in the world today”. They form the largest group, and the next largest group is…the Muslims. Go figure!

  6. TrickyDicky says:

    The Jesus toaster resurrects stale bread.

  7. L.Long says:

    I want a Mo Toaster!!!
    I could make toasted sandwiches for our luncheons, I know our muslin workers would really appreciate Mo toasted BLTs!!! for lunch.

  8. charlie says:

    Xtain persecution is most often done by various other flavors of xtianity. As mentioned above, xtians are better at persecuting other xtians than all other religions and even non religious types. IF the xtian “faith” is “THE” one true religion, then how can they explain the multiple varieties of xtianity? Just taking the Baptist brand alone, why are there so many flavors of Baptists? To this non believer of any religion, it just does not make any sense at all.
    If they made a toaster that did an Alfred E. Newman toast, I might be interested in that.

  9. Caute says:

    The guys who make these toasters deserve to do well. Neat idea. Do they do one with a big ‘A’. And amazon are a giant behemoth retailer who screw everyone else to maximise their margins. Let’s hope amazon get made into toast.

  10. 1859 says:

    If I was a boaster
    With such a toaster,
    I could toast the Holy Ghost
    Together with the communion host.
    That way I would be making the moster from my toaster. – (arrggg sorry!)

    p.s. They should make a poster of this toaster…(ok I’ll stop! Happy Winter Solsitice to all Freethinkers where’er ye may be!)

  11. barriejohn says:


  12. Matt+Westwood says:

    Christians in Muslim nations *are* persecuted. 25 people killed today in wherever-it was (Iran? Iraq?) when a church was bombed, I heard today on R2 news while driving somewhere. I’m not a fan of xtianity, but I hate persecution on ideological grounds worse, so I’m sparing a thought for the victims of this bad thing that happened.

  13. L.Long says:

    Well MW that would be the normal thing to do. We all know that Mo & The Karan is the true word and that xtians are of satan and need to be eliminated by the peaceful & tolerant muslins assuming they did it and not a different cult of xtians.

  14. Robster says:

    I’ve got one that toasts the holy spook. Only problem is that I can’t see the ghost for some strange it doesn’t exist reason.

  15. Trevor Blake says:

    This is my body, slightly browned and good with jam.

  16. Cari says:

    Amazon is a bully to merchants who sell on their site; they take a huge fee, delay payments for months if they feel like it, and use the same coercion tactics that Walmart is so despised for.