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It’s OK to hate gays, but not biblical violence

It’s OK to hate gays, but not biblical violence

AN AUSTRALIAN who doesn’t mince his words – in fact, he probably doesn’t mince at all ­– listed gays among his dislikes when he registered with the dating agency Christian Mingle (motto: “Find God’s Match for You”).

A few days later Rich Wisken received a notification from Mingle notifying him that various parts of his profile had been expunged in line with their policy of not allowing:

Anything that can be considered defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, obscene, profane, offensive, sexually oriented, threatening, harassing, racially offensive, or illegal.

Wisken’s original profile read as follows:

 Hi ladies (definitely not men)

My name’s Rich, and I’m just a typical old school Christian dude. By old school, I mean Old Testament. Give me the wrath of God over the grace of God any day. Soft New Testament rubbish? Ain’t nobody got time for that!

If you enjoy nothing more than kicking back with a copy of the good book and reminding yourself how much of a repulsive, flawed, weak and broken sinner you are, then I’m the guy for you.

Being a decent God-fearing Christian – who lives his life strictly in accordance with the Old Testament – I find it difficult to understand why I’ve had such difficulty finding a wife. I really don’t expect too much from the woman I own; just that she’s a virgin, obeys my every command, and realises she’s inferior to me in every way.

Anyway, if you’d like to get to know me a bit better, check out my Likes, Dislikes and Hobbies below:

LIKES:

Taylor Swift, Walks on the beach, Romantic comedies, Poetry, Murder, Genocide, Floods, Droughts, Earthquakes, Plagues, Famine, Racism, Filicide, Disease, Ethnic cleansing, Really big wooden boats full of animals, Paedophilia, Homophobia, Misogyny, Torture, Smite, Infanticide, Sadomasochism, Contradictions, Genital mutilation, Capital punishment, Self-flagellation, Polygamy, Fire, Brimstone, Incest, Rape, Slavery

DISLIKES:
Harry Styles, Justin Bieber, Spicy food, Condoms, Science, Gays, Shellfish, Mixing fabrics, Bacon, Tattoos, Trimming my hair/beard, Blasphemy 

HOBBIES:
Golf, Gardening, Bird watching, Tenpin bowling, Pilates, Stoning psychics to death, Murdering those who curseth thy mother and father, Killing those who worship other Gods, Human/animal sacrifice, Executing my neighbours for working on the Sabbath, Murdering homosexuals, disobedient children and babies

So ladies, like what you see? Do you think I could be your special someone? If so, feel free to send me a message, but please, no Beliebers, Directioners, or New Testament time wasters.

 Mingle editors swiftly got to work, and posted this version of his profile:

Profile

Wisken angrily responded to the deletion of all biblical atrocities:

God LOVES all that stuff, so why on earth would you delete it from my profile? At this stage I have to assume it was all just a big mistake. If that’s the case, I forgive you.

He added:

 Okay, so just to clarify, you’re saying that it’s definitely NOT okay to:

• Like really big wooden boats full of animals, or the rest of the fun, violent stuff in the Bible … but totally okay to:

 • View yourself as a repulsive, flawed, weak and broken sinner.

 • Own a woman – as long as she’s a virgin who obeys your every command, and realises she’s inferior to you in every way.

 • Dislike gays (all of them).

Whilst misogyny and homophobia are all well and good, I’d like to remind you that if the word of God isn’t followed to the letter, you’ll burn in hell for eternity. Please Christian Mingle, no more cherry picking.

Anyway, please ignore me if the editing of my profile was just an error on your part. If it was, I very much look forward to it being restored ASAP. If it was deliberate, I pray that you all die violent deaths for disobeying your creator.

PS Why did you also remove my profile photo? (below).

Richus

Rich is a prolific writer of letters of complaint. After he was seated in Last December on a Jetstar flight next an obese and smelly passenger, he wrote a letter of complaint to the airline that went viral.

Was his fellow traveller possibly the British Communities Secretary and staunch defender of Christianity, Eric Pickles?

Eric Pickles

Eric Pickles

This is what Simon Hoggart once wrote of Pickles:

…. Given Mr Pickles’s mighty frame – the floor of the house shudders when he gets to his feet – he needs a Spud U Like on every street in the land, and several in some. Indeed, they should be spaced so that by the time he has wolfed down one, there’s another outlet in which he can buy the next!

 

37 responses to “It’s OK to hate gays, but not biblical violence”

  1. Lonborghini Funghini says:

    I must say that most christians are annoying, but Rich is the real thing and i like that. God loves you Rich and so do I.

  2. Schmorty Pantload says:

    What a douchebag religion this is. It’s the elephant in the living room for this country.

  3. Marky Mark says:

    ( I find it difficult to understand why I’ve had such difficulty finding a wife. I really don’t expect too much from the woman I own; just that she’s a virgin, obeys my every command, and realises she’s inferior to me in every way.)

    I’m thinking this is the reason he can’t find a woman in this day and age and has nothing to do with hating gays.

  4. Dan Klang says:

    Schmorty
    That ain’t no elephant in the room…..it’s Mighty Porky Pickles.

  5. barriejohn says:

    Hilarious. He likes floods, droughts, earthquakes, plagues, and famine, so I don’t see why the Christian gals aren’t lining up for him. I’ve never understood Christian dating sites anyway – surely if “The Lord” has someone for you he’s going to make sure that you meet up somehow or other? Where do prayer and “guidance” come into it if you are advertising yourself as “available”? Anyway, I may have found just the person for him:

    http://youtu.be/qCwK7_W22bk

    Oh, the joy of “submission”. (Someone has scolded her for having a Christmas Tree, BTW. I knew they wouldn’t miss that!)

  6. Paul Cook says:

    what I find quite odd is how fundies think they know what a christain looks like. I presume he thinks he looks like jesus. Meaning the long hair and full bushy beard. white and strong. cheery but mentally deragnged.
    The icons all show jesus as white and with a beard on that fantastic icon the cross. such a lovely tortured image. Very fit for children and toddlers that one.

    but if jesus – if thats who he thinks he looks like- had a beard and hair like that, why don’t all the jews of today have such thick deep brown beards and long hair. jesus was a jew after all.

    are not the jews of today mainly sprouting whisky pathetic beards; tiny outcrops on their chinless faces. Is it genetic defects or interbreeding that does that, or is the pathetic image of whiskerless wisken as false as the alleged jesus.

  7. barriejohn says:

    Paul Cook: I don’t think the guy is a fundie!

  8. AgentCormac says:

    Likes: Murder, Genocide, Floods, Droughts, Earthquakes, Plagues, Famine, Racism, Filicide, Disease, Ethnic cleansing, Really big wooden boats full of animals, Paedophilia, Homophobia, Misogyny, Torture, Smite, Infanticide, Sadomasochism, Contradictions, Genital mutilation, Capital punishment, Self-flagellation, Polygamy, Fire, Brimstone, Incest, Rape, Slavery

    Rich Wisken is an atheist with a strong sense of satire.

  9. barriejohn says:

    I hope people aren’t taking him seriously!

  10. barriejohn says:

    BTW: If dating sites expunged anything that could be considered “inaccurate” wouldn’t they all have to close down? (Anyone who has ever visited Gaydar will know what I mean!)

    http://thechive.com/2012/06/05/dating-profiles-that-may-have-missed-their-mark-25-photos/

  11. Graham Martin-Royle says:

    But….all the things he likes are in the babble! I don’t get it, why censor him? Roflmao.

  12. Broga says:

    If I had married a Christian, instead of an atheist, – very unlikely – I would be confident she would become an atheist. Or am I fooling myself?

    Pickles is a sight to avoid. Pickles in wellingtons with his foot on sandbags is even worse. Anyone in bed with him would be at serious risk if he rolled on her or him. As for the logistics of the sexual act, the mind boggles.

    Logistics – the detailed planning and organisation of any large complex operation.

  13. The Woggler says:

    Rich Wisken’s profile is surely a Poe. He’s taking the piss and Christian Mingle fell for it.

  14. silor1031 says:

    @Broga; my wife is a nurse in an ICU where they frequently get morbidly obese patients. One of the irritating little problems they have is finding the penis so the patient can be catheterized. She says the bigger the patient, the smaller it is……I would guess Mr Pickles would be in the “non-existent” category and sexual activity not a possibility in his case.

  15. barriejohn says:

    Nothing he writes is serious:

    I’m also looking to be compensated for the physical pain and mental suffering caused by being enveloped in human blubber for four hours. My lower back is in agony and I had to type this letter one-handed as I’m yet to regain full use of my left side. If I don’t recover completely, I’ll have to say goodbye to my lifelong dream of becoming Air Guitar World Champion. If that occurs, you will pay.

    Remember the Root Letters, now much imitated?

  16. David Anderson says:

    The Woggler: It’s a Poe alright. Look at the beard and moustache, slightly off centre. As you say, he’s taking the piss and Christian Minge fell for it.

  17. Paul Cook says:

    Barriejohn

    I am using circular duck logic and reasoning. Very clear to us duck believers.

    if it looks like jesus has a beard like jesus, writes like jesus ….then ummmm he is j… …

    BARRY DUKE one thing I am sure that BIRDSHIT won’t know about ducks but Birdhsit ought to know about ducks, is that they have corkscrew penisies. Females a counter corkscrew vagina. [well a duck vagina anyway some birds don’t have vagina’s, but ducks do]. One duck has a penis twice it’s own body length. And mallard ducks often gang rape and drown females.
    I do wonder if Birdshit knows all that. And would conclude ducks were completely – feathers tufts and pensies and vaginas – designed by god. And on the rape part: would he say god didn’t do that as ducks have “free will” like humans too.

  18. barriejohn says:

    Paul Cook: Like carnivorous behaviour, aggression (and weeds and thorns, and parasites and viruses) are the result of “The Fall”. They have an answer to everything!

    http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/kw/carnivores

  19. charlie says:

    For hat its worth, probably not much, “Christian Mingle” along with “J Date” was, and may still be at least partly owned by an “Ancient Alien ‘Theorist'” (AAT) named Jason Martell. He has also stared an online for profit named “Ancient School” where one can learn all about the Ancient Aliens who “gave” humans civilization as many AAT’s try to push on the foolish. They have stated, in a round about way, that Jesus may have been a space alien. Funny if it weren’t for the sad fact that they seem to be creating a new religion from that crap.

  20. curry says:

    I suspect this is a joke. He did the same thing for the airline.

  21. barriejohn says:

    Charlie: That’s an interesting idea, though Wikipedia does not name Martell as an owner of the site. Do you have any other information? I haven’t had time to follow all the links!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spark_Networks

  22. Marky Mark says:

    ( “Ancient Alien ‘Theorist’” (AAT) )

    Hummm…I think we are getting closer to broga’s new religion’s beginning. One has to have a spectacular beginning.

    An ancient alien explorer team of males became stranded here after their space craft blew a hydroloic line, and being male and always horny they started to fu*k the Monkeys in Africa, and thus created man…In broga’s image.
    The great Broga is a descendent of the alien team leader…And Broga says we males can have as many wives as we want…but he is not sure what to do about the gays since the team practiced gay sex until they found some female monkeys.

  23. Marky Mark says:

    On a more serious note, I think this guy is just fu*ken with this christian dating site and showing their Hypocrisy. Who would actually say they wish to “OWN” another person?

  24. Michael Lindsay says:

    Are you people serious?! This is clearly someone with a sense of humor,
    taking the piss, and it’s quite funny. It adds to the level of humor that
    you fools believe he actually feels this way, because you are clearly
    Big enough fools to believe such a position is justified somehow.

  25. Paul Cook says:

    Marky Mark
    Yes its a piss take.
    go to his web site through the link in the report. It is quite hilarious.

    But you could also have a laugh on the way through Mingle, I especially liked the Request a Prayer web site.

    I’m gonna make a request for a pony.

  26. charlie says:

    @barriejohn;
    Yes, a web site by Jason Colavito is a source for AAT’s and assorted fringe history types. I enjoy reading his blog and articles. His link to this new “school” is at the following;
    http://www.jasoncolavito.com/1/post/2014/02/jason-martell-starts-for-profit-online-school-for-ancient-alien-studies.html
    Mr. Colavito does not suffer fools lightly. He has authored a few books as well. An interesting web site to me at least. Hope this helps.

  27. barriejohn says:

    Charlie: I did look at that article, but missed the reference to Christian Mingle. I would keep well away from Martell and anyone associated with him, as it’s obvious what they’re up to. People like him (eg Graham Hancock, who “specializes in unconventional theories”) used to feature ad nauseam on the Discovery Channel, and must have made a fortune from their fake documentaries and interviews. Why consult them when, like the religiots, they live in a dream world? I do wonder, actually, whether they believe any of what they say, especially after the fiasco of the Priory of Sion hoax, which was given credibility (and still is) even when the truth was made known!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_Martell

    PS Are you old enough to remember “Chariots of the Gods” – hahaha!!!

  28. John C says:

    Looks like the guys profile is trolling to me, nicely as well.I have no idea why, but i am a married man, and that christian mingle site keeps emailing me with spam to join their service, most immoral of them,soliciting me to be unfaithfull to my beloved wife.

  29. charlie says:

    @barriejohn,
    Yes these guys are just snake oil sellers. Much like “regular” religious types are.
    “Chariots of the Gods” ah yes, I am 66 now. I read that “book” for the first time while in a radio bunker in Vietnam 1970-71. I was a Marine and starved for reading material. If it was any sort of book or magazine, I’d read it. Yes, even tech manuals. I am an old book reader since I was about 6 or 7 years old. I have read Hancock and he is nuts as well. He has admitted that he gets stoned while doing “research” for his books. Bets he writes while stoned also.

  30. Stephen Mynett says:

    I remember a documentary about Erich von Däniken and some of the crazy “evidence” he had in his Gods books. One of the best bits was some guy in South America showing how he made the ancient stones von Däniken had pictures of look ancient. The basis of the method was baking them in Donkey dung.

  31. Paul Cook says:

    @Stephen Mynett

    I think that was what was done with Piltdown Man’s skull.

    and the shroud of Turin too – I bet. it is after all a piece of silly false fabric. Purchased at the same time as other holy relics, pieces of the original cross. blood soaked fabric from jees-swosh himself his locks of hair etc.

  32. barriejohn says:

    Charlie: I was at college at the time. I can’t believe that Dan Brown has been so successful in resurrecting ideas that were thoroughly debunked not so many years ago, and it just shows that people want to believe in SOMETHING magical. No wonder the evangelists have so many followers. I have just read a comment that “scientists cannot explain the pyramids”. What the fuck is THAT supposed to mean? They exist; they are enormous pyramidal monuments; what is there to “explain”?

    Here is one of Von Daniken’s “astronauts”:

    http://www.horizonarts.com/pacaltomb.htm

    He was so obviously distorting facts that I couldn’t believe that he was being taken seriously!

  33. barriejohn says:

    Paul Cook: The Shroud of Tourism has been in the news again recently with yet ANOTHER wacky theory about its “formation”. It reminds me of that old joke (applied to Harold Wilson, I remember): “These are my principles, and if you don’t like them here’s another set of principles that might suit you better.”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/11/shroud-of-turin-earthquake-jesus_n_4770202.html

    If these theories are true then why – as with so many other claims of the “spiritual” – is there no evidence of them happening all the time?

  34. Paul Cook says:

    Barriejohn: interesting stuff.

    One of the original owners of it was Geoffrei de Charny a French Knight – quite a decent chap by all accounts – but like most of them a bit on the fun die side religion wise. He wrote a few books on how to be a knight. I think they are still readable/available today.

    As far as an icon is concerned if he thought of wearing it as a blade/arrow deflecting cloak cum shield – it didn’t work he was killed at Poitiers along with many thousands of other Frenchies.

  35. barriejohn says:

    Paul Cook: Events are shrouded in mystery. Weren’t Russian troops, blessed by Orthodox priests during the Great War, promised that they would impervious to German gunfire? Whatever the case, the blessings were spectacularly ineffective. Just have a look at this lot – especially the letter:

    http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/Prayers-for-Military.html

    Whoever has this letter shall not be taken prisoner, nor wounded by the enemy. Amen. As true as it is that Jesus Christ died and ascended to Heaven and suffered on earth he shall not be shot, but shall stand unhurt, and adjure all guns and weapons on earth by the living God, the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.

    Arctic Convoy duty during WWII made an atheist of my father!