News

Evangelist Bob Hutton’s epic boob

Evangelist Bob Hutton’s epic boob

A cautionary tale

HALLALUJAH! There IS a God! Just kidding. What there is though is serendipity.

With a deadline looming for my quarterly online magazine  The Pink Humanist, I was desperately casting around for a humorous opening topic, and nothing was presenting itself.

Then, like a bolt from above, beneath this Freethinker piece, “Remigius” drew readers attention to an interesting couple of comments posted on a “blog” operated by Kent evangelist and professional troll called Bob Hutton.

They purportedly came from a supporter – Dorothy Potts (Mrs) from Ireland,  but  they contained bits of gay jargon that made it immediately clear that the lunatic was being led up the primrose path.

evil

As soon as he realised how thoroughly fooled he’d been, the fifty-something Hutton scrapped them and all related comments.

Alas too late. The Potts debacle was the “fun” piece I was looking for, and here it is, for your delectation and your delight:

I’ve said it frequently in the past, and I’ll say it again: Christian fundamentalists are dimwitted to at least a factor of 50.

The latest – and the funniest example of how truly clueless these imbeciles can be was provided by a Baptist evangelist in Kent, Bob Hutton who runs a sorry excuse for a blog called The Gospel Truth.

Hutton’s writings comprise mainly rejoicing in the post-mortem punishments he believes will be meted out by his vengeful, invisible friend to non-believers and – in particular –  to “sodomites”.

He is best known for gleefully “coffin” up comments on the death of well-known atheists.

Example:

News has come through of the death of actor Peter O’Toole.  It is well known that this person was an atheist (fool – Psalm 14 V1) and one hopes that, before he died, he came to his senses and repented of his unbelief while accepting Jesus as his personal Saviour.

peter-otoole-horizontal-gallery

It is possible even for wicked men like O’Toole to repent on their deathbeds; however, it is rare – most people die as they live, without Christ and heading straight into the torments of Hell.

Last month I wrote an article about a number of famous atheists who proudly boasted about their folly but have passed into eternity and found out that they were wrong all along.  O’Toole can be added to that list. This man lived a particularly sinful life and was known as a ‘Hell raiser’; he blatantly rejected God in the way he lived but has now had to give account to the God he denied for that debauched life.

Another such vile person was Oliver Reed who was also a known drunkard and died ‘in action’ during a drunken bout.

Bob Hutton was 'born again' at the age of 16. Was this him?

Bob Hutton was ‘born again’ at the age of 16. Was this him?

Hutton, one of those faith-heads capable only of spitting the word “love”,  is also a keen believer in quack “gay cures” and provides unsubstantiated accounts of how, after collapsing into the arms of Jesus, gays he knows (never identified) have set aside their sinful lives.

Now when they fall to their knees it’s not to fellate some lucky bugger but to supplicate themselves before God.

Hutton became all moist at the crotch last month when a fellow fundie began posting comments on his blog, commending him on all the good work he was doing for The Almighty. The first read:

Dear Mr Hutton, I continue to draw inspiration from your blog and really do admire your patience with the atheist doubters. I could not do what you do!  I have printed out your ‘view of life’ and have put it on my cottage wall. You’d be surprised how many visitors have commented on it and how many have gloried over the whole of the text. It really has struck a chord.

Our local priest is very traditional and doesn’t always embrace homilies, but the Parish Secretary – and my friend – Dorothy, showed him this one and he became very enthused. I half wonder if it will pop up during his sermon on Sunday.

I suspect our rural lives here are quite different from yours, and probably less sophisticated, but we share a passion for the Lord.

I hope you don’t mind my sharing these simple thoughts.

She then wrote passionately about someone called “Jason” who went miraculously from gay to straight after handing his heart to Jesus:

I would like to tell you a bit more about Jason’s story, Mr Hutton, if I may. I won’t name the village in Ireland where I live so as not to identify him. The atheists who read your blog and say homosexuals can’t change should read this.

Jason lives with his parents in a small cottage in the village. He used to travel to Cork to meet men and have relations with them. He never felt happy and used to get very upset when he recalled his activities and shared his feelings of self-loathing with us. I would meet him and his mother in the tea-room in the village and he would share his load (of guilt) with us.

He had worked in the local confectionery factory for some years packing fudge for export and seemed to enjoy his job, then it all came crashing down. His life was in tatters. He attended church occasionally but his mother, some other family and friends and I, persuaded him to seek the Lord’s guidance more solidly.Fudge-packer

He did so, and through prayer and self-discipline he changed and no longer has lustful feelings about men. His life is back on track and he has a new job and new hobbies.

He is now an active attender at church, and has become a top member of the choir. As I said before, he is even thinking of joining the priesthood. So to all the atheist doubters – it can work.

Hutton’s supporter added:

I don’t know how you can stand all these rude atheists sending you unhelpful comments, Mr Hutton. I think you’re doing a grand job spreading the word of the Lord. All my best from Ireland.

The writer was Doreen Potts (Mrs), and the good lady would undoubtedly have continued sending Hutton messages of support but for the fact that a frequent visitor to the Freethinker blog revealed that Potts was, in reality, the nom-de-plume of one who was merrily leading the naïve, godly retard up the uphill gardener’s path.

PottsI have no idea who authored the messages, but this I do know. Doreen Potts was a character in an acclaimed, laugh-out-loud book called The Potts Papers, written by someone the deranged Hutton absolutely detests, long-time gay rights campaigner and now President of the National Secular Society, Terry Sanderson.

The moment Hutton realised that his prissy, piss-poor little blog had been defiled with references to “fudge packers”, “tea-rooms”, “cottages” and “glory holes”, all of Doreen Potts’ comments were removed. Poof! And they were gone!  My one regret was that I was not around to see the look on this twisted defect’s face when he realised he had been thoroughly hoodwinked.

The moral of this story is clear. If people choose to live life in bubbles of superstition, refuse to engage with the world in a worldly manner, and, worst of all, use some some tatty old tome to incite hatred and violence, they will become fair game for folk like me.

By the way, there is some pretty interesting stuff in the new Pink Humanist, but alas, aside from the Hutton piece, not much humour as the central theme of this issue is religious-based homophobia in Africa, India and Russia, and the ghastly laws that have come in effect as a result of  interference in politics by evangelists, homegrown and from abroad.

For Hutton's benefit: STFU means shut the fuck up

For Hutton’s benefit: STFU means ‘shut the fuck up!’

 Editor’s note: The image at the top of this page was found here. Hilarious!

30 responses to “Evangelist Bob Hutton’s epic boob”

  1. Daz says:

    Damnit, I was planning some comments there along those lines, by Julian N. Sandy. Have to think of summat else now.

    Whoever you are Ms Potts, I salute you.

  2. 1859 says:

    It does show a sad level of naivety if Mr. H can so desperately cling to such transparent, obsequious flattery.. …But this is exactly what such faith-heads are – so painfully naive they can’t see what fools they are making of themselves. Anyway, let’s give the guy a pat on the back for providing the rest of us with such merriment.

  3. remigius says:

    …you will become fair game for folk like me.

    And me!

    And…

    Let’s start a petition. All those who think Bob Hutton is a twat should continue this thread –

  4. John c says:

    Remigius,he cant be one, a twat is useful for something.

  5. remigius says:

    John c. Er yeah. But I was thinking along the lines of the second defintion in the Oxford dictionary…

    http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/twat

    Although the first definition does actually apply – cos Bob Hutton is a cunt!

  6. Rachel says:

    With reference to the misuse of such colourful item’s in our great language; it is my humble opinion that the man is in fact a Fucktard.

  7. remigius says:

    Er um, Rachel. The word items doesn’t need an apostrophe, cos it’s a plural, not a possessive.

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shitwit

  8. remigius says:

    And, sorry. I’m not calling you a shitwit. It’s just that I found a new word, er shitwit.

    Sorry.

  9. barriejohn says:

    Worth linking to Daz’s blog, I think, as I have posted more links to rich veins of Hutton hyperbole there. He’s like a rabid dog.

    http://theedixieflatline.wordpress.com/2014/03/01/the-bob-delusion/

    [in response to “First ‘Gay Weddings’ in UK”]

    In order to bring a few more thoughts into this discussion let me explain that in the 1960s both Abortion and Sodomy were legalised. About that time we had a serious outbreak of Foot and Mouth disease; we then had nearly 30 years of IRA terrorism; when this died down we had another Foot and Mouth epidemic. Once that passed we had Al Qaeda and 7/7. I cannot help thinking that GOd has permitted these calamities as a judgement on the UK. If that is the case then we are in for a terrible time; I have this awful sense of foreboding that a catastrophe is about to strike in this country.

    Maybe he meant “Foot in Mouth Disease”!

  10. Broga says:

    Entertaining comments. Great definitions.

  11. monkeygirl says:

    Hilarious, people like Hutton deserve the piss taking as much as possible. Am also pleased for Jason that he is now Active in attending church and Top in the choir. Heh Heh..

  12. barriejohn says:

    Sorry; completely off-topic, but did anyone else watch “The Village that Fought Back: Five Broken Cameras” on BBC4 last night? Absolutely riveting, very moving, and extremely worrying at the same time. Available on iPlayer for five weeks:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03x3yfk

    Much more information also available on the web if you look up Emad Burnat.

  13. Stuart H. says:

    Priceless! That friend of Dorothy’s has just made my day!

  14. Calls to mind exchanges between Tim Canterbury and Gareth Keenan …

  15. charlie says:

    Ah Doreen Potts (Mrs.) is a hero for us all. Poor lil Booby Mutton, he got his knickers in a twist from her comments. Well, she could not have picked a more deserving asshats to nail.

  16. tony e says:

    Whilst looking on the web for things Hutton related.

    Here is a song recorded by his friends as a tribute to him.

    Who would have thought?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ce9v3Igb8x8

  17. Daz says:

    Bob, the Bouncing Bombast blathered all the day,
    Of gods and kings
    And love and things
    And hatred of The Gay.

    He snuck his tracts of distorted facts,
    In the innocent cornflake box
    And blamed the gays for floods and droughts,
    His stubbed toe, and his pox.

    “It’s just Scotch mist!” this plagiarist
    Would say of missing replies.
    Then his fist would clamp on his rubber stamp:
    “Satan’s done blinded your eyes!”

    Amen.

  18. barriejohn says:

    Tony: Bob Huttons feature in several YouTube videos, but I fear that none of them is the character for whom we seek. He is more likely to be found lurking amongst the Open Air Mission videos, as he IS an “associate evangelist” of theirs.

    http://youtu.be/Ux_IoCOWGiA

    Just the sort of thing that’s likely to persuade people to “turn to Christ”!

  19. Daz says:

    Barriejohn

    Christ. I suppose sincerity is supposed to make up for lack of talent? You’d think they’d have at least learned the bloody words, mind.

    (My money’s on Bob being the joyless-looking fecker in the naff grey and blue college-jacket/cardigan thing.)

  20. barriejohn says:

    Daz: You’d run a mile, wouldn’t you?

    Remember this character?

    http://youtu.be/2wcEOlhgtD8

  21. Daveygod says:

    Sorry, but anybody who thinks that a genuine believer who commits evil acts will get into heaven, while non-believers who do good will go to hell because they don’t believe, is just a sick fuck. Bob, you are a sick fuck.

  22. Paul Cook says:

    SLightly OT but
    I think that Dorothy needs to go to bird shits web page and comment on the Ugandan’s being given political asylum in Scotland.

    And reply to this bird shit comment:

    “if you are a political leader who wants to save ‘gay people’s lives’, the best thing you can do is crack down on acts of sodomy and all the gay subculture, whilst encouraging the Church to preach Jesus Christ and the saving and healing power of his precious blood. ”

    If he ever lived why would anyone need ‘his’ blood. And if he was real and is dead how does his blood still exist to help anyone. What an utterly moronic comment. He just can’t see the utter stupidity of his comments. Who actually believes this stupidity was/is real and is intelligent in 2014?

  23. tony e says:

    Barriejohn,

    My posting was tongue in cheek.

    The video showed young people having fun, I don’t
    think Bob would have approved.

    However, I think he is beginning to garner a ‘scarlet
    pimpernel’ status. Who is this masked man? What are
    his nefarious deeds?

  24. Angela_K says:

    Bob Hutton has scored an own goal; if you Google his name it currently comes in eighth position linked to The Freethinker titled “When a Troll comes calling” Nice one!

  25. Barry Duke says:

    Excellent, Angela. But the champagne corks will really start popping if we can get the words “Bob Hutton” “Doreen Potts” and “fudge-packer” to the very top of Google.

  26. barriejohn says:

    Tony: I knew you weren’t being serious!

    They seek him here, they seek him there;

    They seek Bob Hutton everywhere.

    Is he in heaven, Is he in hell,

    That damned infernal little smell?

  27. […] Farrell, meet Bob “Potty” Hutton. You two would make a lovely […]