Barmy Baptist book-burning
JUST when you thought Baptists couldn’t get much battier than American pastor Tom Estes, creator of the hysterical “Hard Truth” blog, which recently collapsed under the burden of its own mind-blowing banality and twisted logic, and professional troll Bob Hutton, from Kent,who started his own exceeding lame blog recently but appears barely capable of sustaining it, into the spotlight steps pastor Marc Grizzard, of the Amazing Grace Baptist Church North Carolina.
Pastor Marc has a plan for Halloween: one helluva bonfire in which “satanic” music will be consigned to the flames. “Satanic music” is defined as:
Country , rap , rock , pop, heavy metal, western, soft and easy, southern gospel , contemporary Christian , jazz, soul, oldies but goldies, etc.
More bizarre will be the burning of BIBLES.
We are burning Satan’s bibles like the NIV, RSV, NKJV, TLB, NASB, NEV, NRSV, ASV, NWT, Good News for Modern Man, The Evidence Bible, The Message Bible, The Green Bible, ect. These are perversions of God’s Word.
Only the King James version will be spared … oh, and the church will be serving bar-b-que chicken and fried chicken at the festive incineration – but, as the Telegraph commented:
It is not clear whether the meat will be grilled over the heat of burning Gospels.
I believe the King James version is God’s preserved, inspired, inerrant, infallible word of God â€¦ for English-speaking people.
The church’s painfully psychedelic, dog’s dinner of a website – best examined with a pair of shades and a pack of Paracetamol at hand – claims that burning books and stuff is the Christian way to go:
The Scriptural bases for what we are doing is found in Acts 19:18-20 “And many that believed came, and confessed, and shewed their deeds. Many of them also which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed.
Another crooked charlatan, the desiccated old fraud Mother Teresa, is also labelled “satanic” by the church and her words too will be fed to the flames.
Grizzard is not just a twat, but an egocentric one to boot- check out the page on which he had spread his very own aphorisms. (Apart from dark glasses and painkillers, you should also have a sickbag nearby.) These pearls of wisdon – eat your heart out Voltaire – include:
- Our modern day pulpits are filled with unspiritual misfits.
- God is the solution to sin’s pollution.
- The Ant – small in size, but very wise.
- It will cost you something to go to this church.
- When you give God all you have, you have all you need.
- Salvation cost you nothing, but nothing cost as much as salvation.
- If you do nothing you will go to hell, and if you do anything you can’t go to heaven.
- Drinking whiskey is a risky business.
- Living a good life does not give one eternal life.
- Life’s a disaster without the right Master.
A great one for the BDSM community, what?
- Those who have found God in a personal way, will declare Him in a universal way.
- My goal in preaching the Bible is to make the Devil mad and God glad.
- Crooks don’t read the Book.
- Dopes use dope.
- Wrong instruction brings destruction. Right instruction brings construction.
And my favourite:
- God is the Master of your disaster.
Ain’t that the Hard Truth!
Incidentally, Bob Hutton launched his blog on August 21 –and has so far constipatedly managed to squeeze out a whole TEN posts in three months – all so mind-numbingly uninspiring that that virtually no-one, including atheists, could be asked to comment on them.
One person who did, though, was Mental Bob’s, ah, soul mate, T Estes, who had this to say:
I just want to encourage you to keep it up, regardless of what attacks may come your way. And rest assured, when the atheists who hate you find out you have a blog, they will attack, but don’t stop. We have God on our side, which means we win!
And also, keep up with the blog. I’ve found a few strong Christian blogs, but they only post about once a month. Keep the good content coming, and this blog will do great.
This from a man who then, disappointingly, throws in the fucking towel. I shall miss it immensely. “Hard Truth” was funnier than a chinchilla on crack!
• The picture at the top of the page shows Christians burning “blasphemous” books at a church in Shreveport, LA.
• This post first appeared on the Freethinker site on October 25, 2009.
Hat Tip: Joe Fogey