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Mad ‘bishop’ has a cure for Ebola: Vimto

Mad ‘bishop’ has a cure for Ebola: Vimto

Meet ‘bishop’ Edward Adjei, a Liberian fruitcake who believes that Ebola can be cured with prayer … and a grape-based drink called Vimto.

Adjei, of the Christ Incorporated Church is now on a mission to persuade Liberia’s government to show faith in his cockamamie plan to rid the country of Ebola. The deadly virus may have no cure known to medical science, but he says it can be seen off with the help of a three-day prayer session, an exorcism of the presidential palace – and several bottles of Vimto.

While health chiefs blame the outbreak of the virus on poor sanitation and overcrowded slums, Adjei points the finger at the burnt-out hulk of the old presidential palace, which stands on a hill in the capital, Monrovia.

After six years as the seat of power of the warlord Charles Taylor – accused of practising witchcraft during Liberia’s brutal civil war – the building, which caught fire mysteriously during independence celebrations in 2006, is widely believed to be cursed.

Adjei is one of a number of independent clergymen who now believe that the demons which lurk in it must be banished if Ebola is to be defeated. Said Adjei:

The presidential building is our country’s gateway to Heaven, through which our leaders speak to God, but it has been desecrated.

Now nobody speaks to God through the palace any more, so He has turned his back on our country. And when that happens, we lose protection against things like Ebola.

Adjei, who claims to have had warning of the impending Ebola epidemic in a revelation last December, has now written a joint letter with other Liberian clergymen asking permission from the Liberian government to exorcise the building.

He said it would require a three-day prayer session, which would also involve “a ceremonial scattering of the blood of Christ around the building”. It is here that his plan –  to British minds at least – takes its most unexpected twist of all.

Rather than using communion wine as the blood of Christ, he uses Vimto, the British-made soft drink famous for its distinctive pink hue. Brandishing a large bottle from a store in his vestry, he said:

Communion wine is rather expensive, so we use Vimto instead. We use it for consecrations here in Liberia all the time, such as in houses and pieces of land where evil acts were committed during the civil war.

The perception that the Ebola outbreak has a spiritual element to it has been a headache for health chiefs throughout west Africa, who say that people who blame the virus on witchcraft are less likely to seek help if they get infected.

Adjei claims that any illness with no known cure is almost certain to involve Satan’s hand in some way. He stresses, though, that he also has faith in the more worldly methods to fight Ebola, which has now claimed nearly 3,000 lives across the region, nearly half of them in Liberia.

At the doors to his church in Monrovia’s Painsville district, parishioners must wash their hands with chlorinated water, and he says he would send anyone suffering from the virus to seek medical help first and spiritual help second.

Nonetheless, his plan for ridding the presidential palace of demons has so far attracted little interest from the Liberian government. He despondently said:

I have written to them and tried to contact them, but I have had no response.

Inset photo: Will Wintercross/Telegraph.

 

18 responses to “Mad ‘bishop’ has a cure for Ebola: Vimto”

  1. Broga says:

    “I have written to them and tried to contact them, but I have had no response.” Well, there you are, Bishop Adjei, none so blind as those who will not see. And you can lead a horse to the water but you can’t make it drink – even if offered Vimto.

    I can’t imagine what the Liberian government can be thinking to turn down your offer.

  2. Toto says:

    First class fuckwit.

  3. Andy says:

    Is it of any consequence that an anagram of Vimto is VOMIT ?

  4. Paul Cook says:

    I suspect they use the same cup for distribution of the all-healing Vimto to the parishioners. No chance of them getting ebola that way then which is passed through bodily fluids.

  5. Paul Cook says:

    OT

    but now Alan Henning has been murdered by ISIL I hear on the BBC imams living in the UK stating that islam is a religion of peace, full of compassion and mercy.

    It shows doesn’t it. ISIL are in a civil religious war and their islam is the one true islam.

    So who is right?

  6. Barry Duke says:

    Broga, shame the Liberian pooh-bahs aren’t taking the “bishop” seriously. It would help bump Vimto’s share values further into the stratosphere if they we’re more open-minded.

    http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/business/business-news/vimto-shares-at-a-high-985712

  7. Broga says:

    Barry: I have fond memories of Vimto. When I was a child Vimto was a favourite drink when we could get hold of some money. We had lots of other habits that would make responsible parents today cringe: ice cream, crisps with little blue salt packets in them and lots of sweets. The difference from today that we had to earn the money ourselves to pay for them. Amazing that I survived.

  8. Graham Martin-Royle says:

    Vimto. I always think of “Two Pints of Lager”.

  9. Broga says:

    Is the bishop’s belief in the effectiveness of Vimto any more bizarre than the Pope’s belief that we have guardian angels guiding us. Or that internal prayers reach a saint in heaven who responds. Or talking snakes, virgin births, walking on water, dead man coming alive, all the world’s creatures being loaded on to a boat etc. etc.

    I see that the Archbishop of Canterbury is asking people to pray for the family of the taxi driver (a decent man if ever there was one) whose throat was cut by ISIS brutes. No guardian Angel for him. The prayer and the Divine intervention are too late but the religious like to get in on the act.

  10. Stephen Turner says:

    Following up the point about Alan Henning, I’d missed the
    story, now a week old, that a Muslim convert had decapitated a woman in Oklahoma.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/oklahoma-beheading-man-decapitates-woman-and-stabs-another-worker-after-being-fired-from-food-factory-9759569.html?origin=internalSearch

  11. Matt Westwood says:

    I’m afraid I must protest. Vimto is the byproduct of heresy. The One True Drink is Tizer.

  12. Jeffrey Jones says:

    Gee, Vimto and Tizer. That takes me back 60 years to my childhood in South Wales. Loved both those drinks. Never seen them here in South Africa. Plenty of nutty bishops here though, so on a Sunday you can watch lots of “miracles” take place before your very eyes if you happen to flip onto a religious TV channel.

  13. Matt Westwood says:

    It’s actually not that easy to find Tizer nowadays in the UK (my wife had a craving recently, and it took us over a week to find a shop that sold it), although Vimto is still available on the shelves of conventional supermarkets.

  14. Trevor Blake says:

    Bishop Adjei is welcome to personally demonstrate the effectiveness of his cure.

  15. Brian Jordan says:

    Vimto has evidently lost its potency: when I were a lad we all drank Vimto and there wasn’t so much as a whiff of Ebola. Nor, for that matter, were there any elephants, it was so potent.

  16. Norman Paterson says:

    So far no-one has used Ebola for terrorism or counter-terrorism. How long will that happy state last?

  17. Stephen Turner says:

    Edward Adjei =
    Jedi dew.
    Aa, Dr!