Pastor dies torching a ‘gay’ cereal box

Pastor dies torching a ‘gay’ cereal box

A jackass Christian got into his thick skull that Cheerios are gay fodder. Then he died horribly.

Because of the manufacturer’s support of same-sex marriage, Michael Leisner decided to set fire to a cereal box outside General Mills’ Minnesota headquarters in protest.

According to this report, it quickly went horribly wrong. After clumsily lighting the cereal on fire, Leisner sets the box on the ground, and the flames quickly spread across the grass. As panic begins to set in, the pink-shirted pastor tells a young-sounding girl shooting a video of the event, and other accomplices were along for the caper to:

Get out of here, guys.

As he grabs his materials and flees the scene while the girl laughs at him, he say:

Quick! Quick, get in the car!

In the video clip, the Leisner begins by saying:

One out of every eight boxes of cereal in this country is Cheerios. This is really the treat now for homosexuals. And this is our protest of General Mills advocating same-sex marriages, so we are going to torch some cereal.

Leisner was then sacked from his job as a real estate agent, and fate dealt him the ultimate blow when, last Saturday, Leisner, 65, turned up his toes while waiting in his car for two of his children to finish playing tennis.

The video went vital a sensation and prompted a criminal investigation by police. Leisner’s death brings that investigation to an abrupt end. His funeral service is scheduled for Friday morning at the Emmanuel Christian Center.

And just when you thought this report couldn’t get any funnier, along comes this: in a Facebook tribute, one of Leisner’s nephews – a missionary in Costa Rica –wrote in Spanish that Leisner was as “bold as a lion of God,” though some would remember him as “a flaming Elijah”.

Unfortunately, an English translation on the Facebook page mangled part of the tribute. “Please pray for the family of Mike to feel the spirit of God as dildo in this time of a loss,” the Bing translation notes.

Unfortunately, this post broke too late for it to be included in The Digital Journal, where earlier today Alexander Baron described the Freethinker as:

The nasty face of atheism.

Hat tip: BarrieJohn (Leisner) and Terry Sanderson (Digital Journal).

• This piece first appeared on the FT site on August 16, 2012.

37 responses to “Pastor dies torching a ‘gay’ cereal box”

  1. the Woggler says:

    Well, I’ve heard of a serial killer, but a cereal suicide is a new one on me.

  2. David Anderson says:

    It isn’t known yet if Leisner will be cremated.

  3. barriejohn says:

    So, according to that oped it’s not religion that’s at fault, it’s just the people who follow it. I’ve never heard that one before! I’ve sent the miserable bugger this link to peruse at his leisure (they probably have lots of time on their hands in secure accommodation):

  4. barriejohn says:

    David: I hope they don’t put Cheerio on his headstone!

  5. Matt Westwood says:

    Ah … so he didn’t die as a direct result of burning a silly bit of cardboard? How disappointing.

  6. Lewis says:

    What Mike Leisner did was extremely stupid and I find his views abhorrent, but do you not think that this article is a bit distasteful? Mocking Facebook tributes from family members? This is just as idiotic as Mr Leisner’s actions. You are representing Freethinkers as mean spirited people. Shame on you.

  7. remigius says:

    Alexander baron is a nasty little homophobe. here is one of his typical rants…

    ‘I’m not in favour of the death penalty for homosexuality, but the lifestyle is an almost certain guarantee of an early death.

    Since uhuru, most African nations have made a pig’s ear of their economies, but give them their due, they’ve got the right attitude to homosexuality.

    The vast majority of American blacks feel the same way; it’s only the braindead white liberals whogot theirs heads shoved up their asses regarding this menace to civilisation.’

    It’s not The Freethinkers outspoken atheism he detests, but its support for equal rights.

  8. David Anderson says:

    barriejohn: [chuckle] Alexander Baron isn’t going to like you.

  9. Trevor Blake says:

    Although he didn’t go Krispy when protesting the Sugar Puffs, he remains a Flake.

  10. remigius says:

    The above quote can be found in his own comments to his article about Dan Cathy’s principled stand in the Chick-fil-A debacle.

    Obnoxious little shit!

  11. JohnMWhite says:

    To be fair, you guys can be a bit rude and nasty towards theists, but if some mean comments on a website is as bad as it gets, it rather pales in comparison to religious nastiness like fathers disowning their sons by letter because the son is gay. As usual, a religious apologist has a truly warped sense of priorities and pretty much no sense of morality beyond “whatever my violent master says, I’ll believe it”.

  12. Trevor Blake says:

    To Mr. Baron:


    “What sura in the Qur’an says ‘Though shalt take thy automatic weapons and slay the children of the People of the Book’ ?” Of course, nowhere. Everybody knows what the Holy Qur’an, the words of the Prophet Mohammed that established the religion of peace, really says. 

    The Qur’an says all Jews are apes (2:65-66). The Qur’an says don’t be friends with Jews. And the Qur’an says to kill ALL non-Muslims, not just Jews (2:191-2). 

    You’re right, there’s no anti-semitism in the Qur’an! You just have to understand the context wherein calling someone an ape, forbidding friendship and threatening them with death is a kind of admiration and love.

  13. AgentCormac says:

    Let this be a warning to us all – if you feel the spirit of the lord burning brightly inside, be sure not to go too close to any combustible materials. And have a fire extinguisher handy.

  14. mikespeir says:

    I agree that this is more than a little tacky. I find nothing to rejoice about here.

  15. ZombieHunter says:

    Thats almost as hilarious as that crackpot alex jones claiming that the new world puts hormones in cartons of juice in order to make kids gay.

    Why can’t alex jones drown in juice??

  16. remigius says:

    ZombieHunter, apparently they’ve been doing it for thousands of years!

  17. Lewis says:

    I find it amusing that I have been referred to as religious apologist. Where did I defend Leisner’s actions? And also where did I prioritize anything? As I Freethinker, I see the nastiness and bile in the Bible that gives birth to the opinions of the Mike Leisners’ of the world. But just because the religious are often nasty and hateful doesn’t mean we have to be.

    By not resorting to nastiness, we win. We show that we are able to live as compassionate human beings without any religious doctrine. But by acting the same way as them are we any different?

  18. barriejohn says:

    Trevor Blake: Quite correct. The Koran doesn’t tell Mohammedans to take automatic weapons and slaughter the Jews because they didn’t have automatic weapons when it was written – simple!

  19. barriejohn says:

    Lewis: I think you might have misread someone’s comment there. These “righteous” people are nothing but purveyors of hatred!

  20. gill says:

    Flaming Elijah? Flaming lunatic more like.

  21. Lewis says:

    barriejohn: Yes thanks, I see where I have misread, it wasn’t aimed at me it was aimed at Alexander Baron, but I still stand by my point. I think too many of us raise to the bait of the likes of Alexander Baron and make ourselves seem just as bad.

  22. Lewis says:

    *Mike Leisner

  23. David Anderson says:

    I don’t wish anybody dead but the fact that Leisner is dead means nothing to me. Also, I can see no reason why obnoxious bigots like Leisner and Baron shouldn’t be called for it, alive or dead. I don’t give a flying fuck what they think of me.

  24. Lewis says:

    Yes sure, call people out on it if needed, but sometimes even that isn’t necessary. The video of Leisner speaks for its self, bring the video to people’s attention and that’s all that is needed. A point is made simply and effectively without tainting the reputation of freethinkers.

  25. Stuart says:

    Darwin in action

  26. Lonborghini Funghini says:

    If families don’t want their tributes mocked they shouldn’t post them of facebook. When i post on facebook or any public forum i expect and hope to be challenged and mocked. Go ahead theists, make my day.

  27. jay says:

    I think the lesson here is ‘don’t let your kids play tennis’. God will punish you. Skimpy little outfits

  28. Buffy says:

    He’s dead, and everybody will remember him as the Cheerios Flambe guy.

  29. AceLeon nasty, mean and mighty unclean says:

    The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Let us thank the Lord In Heaven where Mike is receiving a complimentary bottle of Grecian 2000 and a bowl of Cheerios.

    That moustache looks awfully familiar, do you think he and Alexander were….. naa just kidding Lewis just kidding

  30. Robster says:

    The churchies could rectify all this by adopting cheerios as a replacement for the regular crackers and wafer like things they trot out in church every sunday. They would have to be nutricious and more flavoursome than the regular stuff. They could replace the wine with a cold glass of fresh milk, low fat at request to make the eating and drinking the bits if the baby jesus even more beneficial. Fibre in a diet is very important and studies show that church attendees are somewhat more obese than the rest of the population (ie most of it), the religious could do their bit about the general ill-health of modern society by adopting a more adventurous choice in communion offerings for the Sunday deluded faithful. Hmmm, jesus is crunchy!

  31. Michael E says:

    The guy was a fool. By all means mock his ideas but why mock his family’s facebook tributes. Compassion is in order, even for fools.

  32. Matt Westwood says:

    Eeeeh. I gave up cereal and milk for adulthood, at about the same time I gave up religious observance. Hmm. Actually, you have a point.

  33. Graham Martin-Royle says:

    @Robster: But what about the lactose intolerant?

    As for this person, I have heard the saying, “don’t speak ill of the dead”. Why not?

  34. Stuart H. says:

    Well, at least this one read Leviticus more thoroughly than most of his fellow religiots.
    Shame he misunderstood the reference to mixed fibres though.
    That shirt!

  35. Matt Westwood says:

    I’m beginning to wonder whether the injunction not to wear cloth of mixed fibres is a euphemism for something else – on the same lines as how “travelling on the other bus” is completely incomprehensible to those not intimately versed in some of the more obscure British English slang.

  36. remigius says:

    It turns out that the prohibition against mixed fibres is actually quite sensible. Anyone wearing such fibres is also likely to have consumed shellfish, and so can be lawfully killed!

  37. Stonyground says:

    I have to agree with Lewis and Michael E that gloating over this guy’s sudden death and mocking messages of sympathy ought to be beneath us. I think it better that we concentrate on his absurd beliefs and the real harm that such beliefs do to other people’s lives. Of course, had a gay rights campaigner died suddenly in a similar way, all the usual suspects would have come out claiming that it was God’s judgement, but I would like to think that we are better than them.