It’s enough to make the baby Jesus cry
The Ann Summers company, purveyors of fine erotica, has come out tops in a ‘badvent’ calendar poll conducted by the Ship of Fools website.
SoF started out with 30 Advents calendars:
All of them having minimal to no connection with the original Christmas story, and all of them suggested by our readers. Then we whittled it down to eight finalists – including calendars devoted to whisky, heavy metal and dogs – and asked you to vote on the one most likely to make the Baby Jesus cry.
The Ann Summers Naughty Advent Calendar, above, scooped over 50 percent of the vote. As you can see, the model on the cover is wearing only a smouldering expression, and has lovely baubles.
The gold, frankincense and myrrh of Christmas is replaced behind each window with “24 tasty milk chocolate willies, boobs and bums”.
Trust Anne Summers to remind us that reproductive organs were part of the Bethlehem story.
In second place is the Nail Varnish Advent Calendar, made by Ciate, featuring a 24 piece mini nail polish collection:
Perfect for glamming up on the back of a donkey heading for Bethlehem. And in third place, the dependably vacuous Barbie Advent Calendar, with a new fashion accessory for your Barbie every day of the festive season.
Advent calendars have been around for 100 years at least, and have always been a winning mixture of sweets, surprises and stories about the first Christmas.
But SoF thinks:
It’s a shame to see all that disappearing as big companies make as much money as they can selling cheap chocolate. Almost all the calendars on the market make no contribution to charity and do not have fairtrade chocolate.
Francis Goodwin of Christmas Starts with Christ, a church campaign that aims to tackle the disappearance of Jesus from Christmas, said this about the Ann Summers calendar:
This is a perfect example of the famous H L Mencken quote: ‘No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public’.’We wish Ms Summers and her followers a fun-filled Christmas, but hope they might spare a moment to remember whose coming we really await.
The CSWC site laments the fact that:
Just 12 per cent of adults know the nativity story, and more than one-third of children don’t know whose birthday it is. Meanwhile, 51 per cent of people now say the birth of Jesus is irrelevant to their Christmas.
It is hoping to”reverse” this trend with an array of new posters, new radio commercials and “other great resources for churches and groups to use”.
Meanwhile, SoF readers discovered just one calendar which tells the Christmas story, is filled with Fairtrade chocolate, and through which money is donated from every sale to charity. But The Meaningful Chocolate Company‘s Real Advent Calendar faces tough competition in a crowded UK market in which 10 million calendars are sold each year.
Said David Marshall, producer of the calendar:
People now have a choice when shopping at Tesco. Do they want to share the values of Ken and Barbie or Mary and Joseph? Do they want to buy the cheapest chocolate calendar or buy Fairtrade and know growers get a fair price? Is the build-up to Christmas all about profit or a time to be charitable?
Hat tip: BarrieJohn