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More spent on sex toys than churches

More spent on sex toys than churches

Construction of religious buildings in the US has fallen to the lowest level at any time since private records began in 1967.

After discovering this fact in the Wall Street Journal,  Hamilton Nolan, of the Gawker website, yesterday commented:

A survey of the good hard data about Jesus and his earthly minions leads me to a single chilling conclusion: Satan has been slowly tightening his grasp on America’s scrotum ever since the hippies began fucking one another, outside of the bonds of holy matrimony.

Today, that scrotal clench is tighter than ever. For ‘ye of little faith’ (some humor) who may doubt the seriousness of this existential threat to America’s soul, consider the state of church-building in the nation that white Christian slaveowners built.

He then quoted from the WSJ, which revealed that:

Religious groups will build an estimated 10.3 million square feet this year, down 6% from 2013 and 80% since construction peaked in 2002, according to Dodge Data & Analytics. In terms of dollars, spending on houses of worship totaled $3.15 billion last year, down by half from a decade earlier, according to Commerce Department figures.

Berating his fellow Americans, Nolan said:

Hang your heads in shame, ye lazy heathens. What was once the holiest nation on earth now spends five times more on sex toys than it does on building houses of worship for THE LORD THY GOD.

Is this true, America – you prefer lubricated vibrating dildos to be inserted into each and every orifice and moved back and forth in a frantic manner to sitting in church on Sunday? Well?

Explain yourselves.

In 2011, Gawker reported: As Economy Sinks, Sex Toy Sales Go Through The Roof.

14 responses to “More spent on sex toys than churches”

  1. Paul Cook says:

    How sad.
    Just think what R&D could be achieved with $3.5 billion, or schools built, or safe houses for abused children of Catholic priests, or hospitals, parks, gardens….. The list is endless.

  2. Broga says:

    Just when I had run out of ideas for Christmas presents.

  3. Rob Andrews says:

    I think organized religion fills more of a social then a spiritual role these days. I mean things like helping the poor, and as a gathering places after the services.

    Here’s a case in point: I live across the street from a greek Orthodox Church. And I’ve noticed that the parking lot fills up AFTER the religious service in the church building. That’s when peoiple go to the rec. hall for coffee and pastry. This is by a factor of 2/1.

    They do have good Greek pastry, i have to say!!

  4. Daz says:

    Oh god… Oh godOh godOH GOD

    See, it’s just a more personalised religion.

  5. Angela_K says:

    The sales increase in sex toys can only be a good thing because it shows people are in love and having good sex. Whereas the religious, if not killing people, lead a joyless and usually sexless existence.

  6. Paul Cook says:

    Angela
    The deeply religious have lots of sex, mainly with relatives and little boys.

  7. sailor1031 says:

    with church attendance falling everywhere, even in the South, and churches closing why are they spending even one more dime on new church building?

  8. barriejohn says:

    Looks as if some of them have been combining religion and sex:

    http://www.uberkinky.co.uk/jackhammer-jesus-dildo-82582.html

    “Good hard data” – hahaha!!!

  9. 1859 says:

    This guy’s rhetoric of ‘lubricated dildos moving rapidly back and forth in every orifice’ I think reveals a certain amount of envy – n’est pas?

    If his statement is not a send up but he really means what he says, then I hope he gets inundated with sex toys for Xmas!

  10. jay says:

    As a side point, I’ve repeatedly noticed that churches built in the past few decades are pathetic. Gone is the massive elegant stonework, sculpture, stained glass… gone is the time when a church was an architectural showpiece in a town… in its stead is a building constructed at about the same quality (basically a build it fast kit throwaway structure) as a Motel 6.

    So no, this is not much of a surprise.

    [not that I understand the rest of the story, though. I like sex, and erotica, but have never been able to comprehend any point to sex toys]

  11. Robster says:

    The purveyors of sex toys pay tax on their revenue unlike those touting religious nonsense, they pay rates and taxes and through this contribute to the greater good. The churches? apart from serving a very meagre breakfast offering on Sundays are more take than give.

  12. Great Satan says:

    There is actually a religious use for the blow up dolls featured in the photo above – they could simply be filled with helium and floated over the Kaabaa rock in Mecca !

  13. Ex Patriot says:

    If what this article says is true , then I hope the trend keeps upand the churches all go bust

  14. Marky Mark says:

    Great photo used for this article…I had a good laugh before I read it!