‘Jesus’ sighted on a cocktail cabinet door

‘Jesus’ sighted on a cocktail cabinet door

Nowhere in the New Testament (or anywhere else) is Jesus described, nor have any drawings of him ever been uncovered.

There is the additional problem of having neither a skeleton nor other bodily remains to probe for DNA. In the absence of evidence, our images of Jesus have been left to the imagination of artists.

Oh, and to complete numpties who insist that they have seen the face of the “saviour” on frying pans, in bird shit, on their dog’s ears and bottoms and, most recently, on a 1950s drinks cabinet.

Plymouth Church organist Robert Burgess-Moon, 35, above, and his partner Martin bought the item for their lounge. Now here comes the woo.

Burgess-Moon, who lives in Whitleigh, says he was watching TV one night when he got a strange feeling.

I thought ‘There’s a face looking at me through the cabinet’. It looked like the face of Jesus, the image everybody has of him.

We were quite shocked really, it was just not something you expect, it’s like a Holy Spirit cabinet now.

Burgess-Moon said his partner was not sure about the face at first, but now is convinced.

He couldn’t see it to begin with, but when I pointed it out to him it stands out.

Of course it does!

For two decades I dealt in vintage furniture from the art deco period to the sixties, and often came across pieces that appeared to have faces on the veneer if you looked closely enough.

In fact, at one collectors’ fair in London, I flogged a really grotesque 1960s cabinet, bought for a fiver at a car boot sale, to a couple who happily forked out £250 for the thing after I pointed out to them that a central panel appeared to have a face on it. And I whispered what was intended as a joke:

It could be Jesus.

They stared at it for a few minutes, and the woman exclaimed:

Dear God, I do believe it is. We’ve just been to church where the preacher told us to keep our eyes peeled for miracles and wonders, and now we’ve found this!

I had such a hard time keeping a straight face and air of piety about me as I pocketed the dosh.

Hat tip: Angela K

25 responses to “‘Jesus’ sighted on a cocktail cabinet door”

  1. Broga says:

    I think it is a touch harsh to be dismissive. There are some facts that we just have to accept. Here are some:

    1. God wrote the bible in King James English;

    2. Jesus is white. A Christian proved this to me by pointing out that Jesus was white in all the paintings;

    3. The bible must be true because the BBC implies this in its broadcasts and we know the BBC would not lie to us.

  2. barriejohn says:

    I remember “The House that looks like Hitler” a few years ago. The following article is very interesting, and features other examples:

  3. Ivan says:

    Mine’s a Bloody Mary.

  4. Lensman says:

    I am Groot!

  5. Vanity Unfair says:

    I thought perhaps one of the trees of Cheem.

  6. Swiftsure says:

    Looks like Leonardo da Vinci to me (at least he left some self portraits).

    Or if you squint a bit, maybe Charles Darwin?

  7. JRR Ewing says:

    It’s an ent.

  8. Cali Ron says:

    Angela K: Proof that Jesus makes cents.

  9. 1859 says:

    I wonder if they kneel down and pray to their drinks cabinet every day? I mean what do you do if the messiah is staring out at you 24/7 into your own living room?

  10. Cali Ron says:

    Toast him and say “Cheers” as you down some spirits.

  11. 1859 says:

    Is it just my perverse mind but I see a very sexy, naked woman with breasts? Any one else see what I see? I promise I haven’t touched a drop!

  12. Laura Roberts says:

    Wow, that is a powerful, powerful miracle. Not a trivial parlor trick like healing blindness, regrowing missing limbs or curing cancer. But, a bit of wood that looks vaguely like a face if you squint your eyes just right and tilt your head? Simply amazing!

  13. barriejohn says:

    I must confess that despite my best endeavours I am unable to see anything there at all. However, I am very much reminded of one of my all-time favourite Peanuts cartoons, which I have been delighted to locate on the net!

  14. Laura Roberts says:

    I’m sure a lot of people on this site have probably seen this video on pareidolia, but for those who haven’t:

  15. Angela_K says:

    I must have a very dull imagination because it just looks like a nice piece of wood veneer.

  16. Dave Godfrey says:

    Of course we know what Jesus looked like. He was a tall, wiry white man with long strawberry-blonde hair and a beard. In other words, a typical Palestinian Jew.

  17. Adrian White says:

    Treebeard! What have they done to you! Was it the Christian Orcs?

  18. AndyB says:

    The face of Jesus?.. Hah, that’s nothing…..
    Take a look at this Chihuahua’s face in a naan…..
    Now that’s my kind of divine revelation!
    Cue for religiously inspired Indian restaurant jokes & puns…..

  19. dennis says:

    “on their dogs bottoms” excellent place for such devotion.

  20. Peterat says:

    I didn’t know that Picasso was a carpenter!

  21. AgentCormac says:

    Isn’t the human imagination a powerful thing. Especially when employed by complete idiots with nothing better to do than look for any sign that will reraffirm their belief in a non-existent sky fairy. Personlly, I think the grain in the veneer has a vague resemblance to the flying spaghetti monster.

  22. Robster says:

    Baby Jesus is peering out the cabinet’s veneer to make sure these two men don’t touch each other or get married or have sex or use a plane or a dark stain or sand paper. Jesus very busy. The story is he was a carpenter or a fisherman or a woodworking something or other.