God says he wants saggy jeans banned
God may have been happy to expose his ‘back parts’ to Moses (Exodus 33:17-23) but he’ll tolerate no imitators.
This we know because an Alabama councilman, Frank Goodman, 66, claims to have consulted the Almighty regarding a problem plaguing the town of Dadeville: saggy jeans.
The buffoon is quoted here as saying:
I prayed and asked God to show me what I should do, and the way I should go about it.
God’s response. apparently, was to tell Goodman to issue an ordinance making it an offence to wear pants at half-mast.
We have a lot of older people here who don’t want to see it. A lot of middle-aged people don’t want to see it either. They don’t want to see anybody walking around with their pants down with underwear that is showing.
The law might also banish short shorts and skimpy dresses, following a suggestion from a city councilwoman.
Goodman said he first proposed banning saggy pants when he took office in 2008, but the legislation fell by the wayside. Still, he couldn’t take the low-riding pants any longer. Every time he goes to the grocery store or department store, he sees it.
Seeing the young boys with pants hanging down, having to walk wide-legged, holding their pants up to keep them from falling down – now it’s gotten real bad. It’s something I couldn’t take no more.
At a council meeting this month, Goodman explained how drooping denim is “disrespectful”. It’s bad example to children, and bars the wearer from gainful employment. He told his colleagues:
I prayed about this. I know that God would not go around with pants down.
Councilwoman Stephanie Kelley, who suggested outlawing short skirts and shorts too, added:
We just want to make sure people are decent.
Town attorney Robin Reynolds indicated a draft of the saggy pants ordinance would be ready for the next council meeting.
If the council wants me to write in something for the females – it will take a little more creativity on my part.
The proposed legislation has apparently made Dadeville the butt of jokes and some residents aren’t happy. One woman wrote on the local paper’s Facebook page:
This is getting some national coverage and not in a good way …
Another resident fumed:
So many more issues … should take priority. Can we ban people from showing crack when they bend over too?
Saggy-pants laws are nothing new in America. Jefferson Davis Parish, Louisiana, passed a similar ordinance last year that carries a $50 fine for first-time offenders and a $100 ticket for each additional violation.
Meanwhile, officials in Ocala, Florida, repealed their saggy-pants ordinance last year after a local NAACP branch threatened the city with a lawsuit, claiming the law was seen as a move to target young black men.
The ordinance – which banned people on city property from wearing pants falling two inches below the waist while exposing underwear or buttocks – carried a penalty of up to $500 and 60 days in jail.
Hat tip: Ivan Bailey