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Donald Trump indicted by the Order of Perpetual Indulgence

Donald Trump indicted by the Order of Perpetual Indulgence

On the eve of Trump’s inauguration, the Order of Perpetual Indulgence Convent of Dunn Eideann in Scotland performed a Rite of Canonical Indictment & Excommunication against America’s 45th President.

According to a statement issued earlier today, the ceremony took place in Edinburgh outside Waverley Gate (the former GPO Building) in Princes Street and was conducted by Sister Ann Tici Pation, pictured above.

Similar ceremonies were performed throughout the world by other Order of Perpetual Indulgence members.

According to the statement, the text and structure of this excommunication rite is adapted from one introduced by the Pope Zachary in the 8th Century, as described in the Pontificale Romanum and practiced up until the Second Vatican Council in 1962. The ceremony traditionally involved a bishop, with twelve priests with candles, and is solemnly pronounced in some suitably conspicuous place.

The bishop would then pronounce the formula of the anathema. After the pronouncement, the bishop would then ring a bell, close a holy book, and the assisting priests would snuff out their candles by dashing them to the ground, and thus was born the expression “by bell, book and candle”.

The Sisters and Brothers of the Order of Perpetual Indulgence are part of “a worldwide order of queer people of all sexualities”. Formed around 1979 in response to attacks on the queer community by fundamentalist religious organisations, its tenets are:

The expiation of stigmatic guilt, and the promulgation of universal joy.

Sister Ejaculata of the Imminent Spattering. Other members of the Order are pictured here.

The release said:

By eradicating guilt and promoting universal joy, we aim to end prejudice and intolerance towards those who ‘dare to be different’. By manifesting in habit, the Sisters and Brothers challenge gender stereotypes and the oppression of organised religious orthodoxy, which still refuses to accept queers (or, indeed, anyone living an ‘unacceptable’ lifestyle) as being equal members of society with a right to their sexuality.

The Order is not a religious order, nor is it anti religion. Many within the Order observe a religious or spiritual life. Others do not. The Order is open to all who feel the call of the habit.
We celebrate at public events. We demonstrate. We perform queer affirmative ritual, do fund-raising, perform memorials and generally drag up in habit at any invitation.

In performing the Rite, Sister Ann Tici Pation intoned:

In the presence of Maude Almighty, and the Golden Trinity of Blanche, Dorothy and Rose, invoke the canonical powers of the fierce, the fae and the fabulous to indict the trickster con-man, Donald J Trump, and all his greedy, self-serving minions, for Sins Against Decency.

Including but not limited to the following acts of grievous offence:

Racism, misogyny, xenophobia, hate-mongering, cruelty, greed, contempt for the truth and myriad other sins of omission and commision, known and unknown, spoken and unspoken …

In virtue of the power which has been given us of binding and loosing on this good earth and beyond the Veil, in all worlds and between the worlds, we deprive this dark trickster, Donald J Trump, and all his accomplices and all his abettors of the Communion of the Decent, we separate him out as an enemy of all the lovers of peace and justice, we exorcise him from the Body Politic of the United States and the world, we exclude him from the bosom of our Holy Mother, the Spirit of Joy, and we henceforth conscribe and bind him of all malice and bane.

And we declare him excommunicated and anathematized, and we judge him condemned to an icy hell of complete irrelevance, designed and furnished in knotty pine, with one small TV playing ‘A League of Their Own’ on a perpetual loop and absolutely zero Internet access, so long as he will not burst the fetters of his epic ignorance, cruelty and narcissism and, do penance and restitution for his many crimes and misdeeds to satisfy the Will of the Decent, the Just, and the Radically Indulgent; we deliver him to oblivion, to await the final judgement on his eternal soul.

So mote it be! So mote it be! So mote it be!

10 responses to “Donald Trump indicted by the Order of Perpetual Indulgence”

  1. barriejohn says:

    The following is doing the rounds ATM:

    http://img.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/1484882245144.jpg

    Trump was going to make a speech that would “unify” the USA, and I bet he thinks that he delivered on that promise, despite everyone else’s observations. I have a feeling that in his eyes, as he is now president, everyone has to go along with what he says, so the nation is united. That would fit his simplistic view of the world.

  2. I’ve just been looking at the anti-Trump protests in the USA carried out by the very peaceful leftists, liberals, social justice warriors and snowflake generation. Has anyone else noticed that leftists all seem to look the same? Spooky. Right-wingers also tend to be very similar in appearance, of course, but not to the same extent. How deplorable. If you are opposed to religion, its dogmas, its ludicrous claims to truth, you also need to be totally opposed to the leftists and the rightists and the filthy lying ideologies they espouse. A pox on all their houses.

  3. I have recently set up my own Order: The Sisters of Eternal Refulgence. It’s Patron Saint is Alistair Crowley. So far, I am The Order’s only member, though I plan to increase this number to 13 in the near future. (Why 13? Because I was once a member of the notorious 31 Club, which met weekly in a basement in Scunthorpe {the only town in Britain with c–t in it} and the number 13 thus has many pleasing connotations for me.) Membership is of course free, and all potential Sisters will be made more than welcome.

  4. barriejohn says:

    They say that God must have a sense of humour, but mine is wearing thin at the moment. Is this another of his divine jokes?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-38695203

  5. Tony says:

    Trump claiming that the USA is now unified is like the archbishop of cant claiming Enland is a christian nation.

  6. Newspaniard says:

    At the end of his inauguration speech did Donald declare that he had a direct line to his personal sky fairy? Maybe he will declare himself and American Pope. Maybe he will open a special inquisition department in the CIA? No, hang on, they already have one… As an outsider, I think that the coming 4 years are going to be very interesting, if he survives.

  7. Brian Jordan says:

    I hope the pronouncement was accompanied by the eating of the flesh and the drinking the sauce of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. (Physical, not ghostly.)

  8. Brian Jordan says:

    @barriejohn
    The following is doing the rounds ATM:
    http://img.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/1484882245144.jpg

    Blimey, I didn’t realise they’d elected Father Jack for President! Where is Church-State separation now?

  9. Great Satan says:

    How entirely irrelevant – why did this lot not protest at Islamic treatment of gays or the mass grooming of white working class girls across the UK.

  10. Newspaniard says:

    @Great Satan. Very well said.