Topic / Jesus

‘Prophet’ tricked family into digging up a dead relative

After swallowing the New Testament myth about Lazarus, and how he was brought back to life by a geezer called Jesus, an Ethiopian family agreed to dig up a relative and allow a ‘prophet’ to revive the corpse. It went badly. Despite being told repeatedly to “get up” by “prophet” Getayawkal Ayele, who lay on […]

New rule sends shock waves through consecrated virgins

Because an increasing number of Catholic women apparently want to hitch themselves to Jesus, the Vatican issued fresh instructions earlier this month regarding ‘Brides of Christ’  – and in doing so has shocked the US Association of Consecrated Virgins. Why? Because the Vatican document – Ecclesiae Sponsae Imago – suggests that literal virginity is not a […]

In Alabama, a vote for Sandra Little Brown is a vote for Jesus

If Jefferson County Commissioner Sandra Little Brown is re-elected today, her victory will have been delivered by Jesus. Brown, according to this report, is claiming her re-election campaign has the blessing of Jesus “and his followers,” according to a piece of campaign literature that was distributed in District 2 ahead of today’s Democratic run-off with […]

Papal bone fragment needs a home. Where would you put it?

Please don’t say toss it in the trash because that has already happened – which is why a London waste disposal company is asking people to suggest what should be done with the thing. According to The Catholic Herald, the bone fragment is a piece of Pope St Clement who is said to have hobnobbed […]

California media group blasted over ‘blasphemous’ cartoon

TBC Media, publishers of the The California, has been described as ‘an atheist enterprise’ by a reader who expressed his fury over a ‘deplorable’ Last Supper cartoon. But Jack Balfanz ‘s letter, which said that TBC “has without a doubt totally embraced itself with the rest of the liberal scum media in this country”, got a […]

Italian professor creates ‘authentic’ model of dead Jesus

Being Good Friday – not, I stress, April Fool’s Day – this one’s hoot: using the Shroud of Turin, Giulio Fanti, Associate Professor at the Department of Mechanical Engineering at Padua University, has created a 3D ‘carbon copy’ of Jesus Christ after the ‘Messiah’ was tortured and crucified. Life Site News says the Shroud of […]

Catholic bishop and several cohorts arrested for theft

Bishop José Ronaldo Ribeiro, above, has been arrested in Brazil. He and several Catholic other priests are accused of fleecing the faithful to the tune of around $600,000 (£425,000). According to this report, the arrests took place as part of an operation called “Caiphas,” which began at the crack of dawn on Monday. Close to […]

Naked and bound, man is found in car with a pastor

But Pennsylvanian pastor George Nelson Gregory, 61, above, insists that what was going on the vehicle last Friday was merely a counseling session that turned a little weird. According to this report, Gregory, who serves as a preacher at the Waterfront Christian Community Church in West Homestead, says he will swear “on a stack of […]

Google’s smart audio device doesn’t recognise Jesus or God

Christians are reportedly up in arms because Google Home, a device that’s intended to answer any questions you care to throw at it, is stumped when asked about Jesus Christ or God. Google Home responds: “Sorry, I’m not sure how to help” or “My apologies I don’t understand”. But if asked about characters such as […]

Be merry, god damn it!

Well Baby Jesus’s Pretend Birthday is over for another year, so now that everyone is busy scrubbing gravy stains off the ceiling and wrapping up the leftover spam and chestnut pie for the week’s lunches, let’s refresh ourselves with dispatches from the War on Christmas. Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of it. It’s headline […]