Modesty and the modern Muslim

OH, what a giggle we had trawling through over 80 entries we had for our June caption contest!

But the hard bit was choosing a winner.

In the end, we said sod the accountants, let’s award THREE prizes of a year’s subscription to the Freethinker to:

• Rog – With the tide rising and her feet encased in concrete, Fatima began to regret espousing her feminist views within earshot of a mosque …

• NonEuclidean – Hakmed finally fulfills his long time fantasy of seeing what his sister’s like in the sack.

• Jed – He looked longingly into his Muslim dominatrix’s eyes and his thoughts turned to his next rubber gloved hand job …

We thought we’d give an honorable mention to:

• Angela K – Arrrgh! I’ve saved the wrong woman from drowning!

• George Stevenson – Is that the great minaret of Malwiyya, greatest of the Iraqi Samarra in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?

• Sherd Nerd – At the crucial moment, Death realised he’d forgotten his scythe.

• McGrath –  When you’re wet you’re even more beautiful, Jamima, Oh! sorry – Fatima.

• Stewart – Bear with me, darling. As soon they permit gay marriage you won’t have to wear it anymore.

Claiming your prize couldn’t be easier – just email your postal address to barry@freethinker.co.uk, and we’ll put you on our mailing list.

The contest, incidentally, prompted us to delve further into the subject of modest swimwear for Muslimas (females of the Muslim persuasion, for those unacquainted with the term) and we found these two amusing creations, as well as a curious picture of colourful mini-burqas used apparently in some Islamic countries to cover bottles. Why would anyone want to do that, unless …?

The black thing in the centre – a much less Smurflike burqini – was recently unveiled at the Islamic Sport & Swimwear store in Sydney. The model is Mecca LaaLaa. No, honestly, that really is her name.

AN advert for ice-cream featuring a young nun and priest who appear on the verge of kissing has been banned after complaints that it was offensive to those working in religious orders.

The saucy press ad, with the strapline “Kiss temptation”, was run by ice-cream brand Antonio Federici Gelato Italiano. It appeared in Delicious and Sainsbury magazines.

In banning the ad for breaching CAP Code clause 5.1 (Decency), the Advertising Standards Authority said:

The ad stated ‘KISS TEMPTATION’ and the two were portrayed in a seductive pose, as if they were about to kiss passionately.

We considered that the portrayal of the priest and nun in a sexualised manner and the implication that they were considering whether or not to give in to temptation, was likely to cause serious offence to some readers.

Just how offended readers were is reflected in the avalanche of complaints the ASA received: a staggering TEN!

Antonio Fedirici Gelato Italiano said the ad was meant to be a “light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek portrayal celebrating forbidden Italian temptations”, which its ice-cream represented.

The ice-cream manufacturer added that the ad was unlikely to “offend deeply” and that it was significant that the image did not show the nun and the priest actually touching or kissing.

According to the ASA:

Seven Squared Publishing, who published Delicious and Sainsburys Magazines, explained that both publications were targeted at an adult audience aged between 25 and 55 years.  They felt the ad was tongue-in-cheek and unlikely to offend their readers.

They received two complaints from Delicious Magazine readers and five complaints from Sainsburys Magazine readers.  They apologised for any offence caused and advised they had no plans to publish the ad again in future issues.

Rent-a-gob 'Birdshit' Green, right, gets in on the Life of Brian act

MONTY Python’s Life of Brian will finally get a screening in Glasgow after a lengthy ban.

When it was granted a licence by the city council yesterday, Stephen “Birdshit” Green, who heads failed fundie pressure group Christian Voice, grizzled:

We know Glasgow was the last place in the country to keep the ban in place, as the only other area, Aberystwyth, had a screening a couple of months ago. It is a bit of a shame it’s now been granted a licence in Glasgow, but it shows how much we have let standards slip.

According to The Scotman, stars of the film, including Michael Palin, John Cleese and Terry Jones, will be invited to a special screening at the Glasgow Film Theatre in September.

In sharp contrast to the furore of 29 years ago, the city council’s licensing committee did not receive a single objection to the application.

The move was welcomed by film experts for bringing an end to a cinematic “anachronism”.

The Biblical satire, about a Jewish man accidentally mistaken for the Messiah and crucified, was turned down for an AA certificate – the equivalent of the current 15 rating – in February 1980. Glasgow was one of 39 British cities and towns which banned the film.

At the time, dozens of protesters gathered outside a Sauchiehall Street cinema, where councillors were attending a private screening.

The late Pastor Jack Glass, who spearheaded the protest, famously said the film “crucified Christ afresh” and thrust three nails at the committee chairman, John Chatham. But the pastor admitted he had not seen the film and was basing his views on a script.

Last night, a former lord provost, Michael Kelly, one of those who sat on the committee, but who voted in favour of it being given a licence, said councillors were “scandalised” after viewing the film.

I distinctly remember a lot of outrage, mainly because most councillors on the committee were Catholic in those days. They were genuinely shocked, but I was completely against any form of censorship and voted for it to be shown. I remember seeing it a few years later when I was on a skiing holiday in France. It was shown in English with French subtitles. It was hilarious.

Councillor Willie O’Rourke, the vice-convener of the licensing committee, said:

This is the first application we’ve received to show Monty Python’s Life of Brian since the first request in 1980. The world, and people’s attitudes, have moved on in the past 30 years, so I believe the committee made the right decision.

Allison Gardner, head of cinemas at the GFT, added:

The film has been widely available to the general public on video and DVD and has been screened on terrestrial television. None of these events has caused widespread offence, or in any way destroyed the sanctity of the Church or undermined its place in our wider society. I believe the film is seen as an affectionate and inspired depiction of the life of Jesus from a perspective that is humorous, rather than blasphemous.

NOTE: On June 3 we wondered what had become of Green’s “Marriage and Family in the Bible” essay contest which closed on April 20, 2009. No results have ever been published on his website, where the contest was first launched. When we visited the site today, we could find no mention of the competition. Why has it disappeared? Come on Green, come clean!

BELEAGUERED homosexuals living in a largely Muslim enclave near Amsterdam have found an unlikely “guardian angel” – the 41-year-old Mayor of Slotervaart, Ahmed Marcouch.

Gay-friendly Mayor Marcouch has annoyed Muslim and Catholic fundies

Just a stone’s throw from the capital – but light-years away from Amsterdam’s anything-goes ethos – Slotervaart’s population is mainly of immigrant origin, many of the Muslim faith, like Moroccan-born Marcouch himself who came to the Netherlands in 1979 at age 10.

The suburb, according to this report, has recently been in the news for homophobic incidents, with gays being called names, spat on and generally harassed.

As part of his mission to end homophobia, Marcouch has invited Amsterdam’s annual Gay Pride parade to pass through his constituency when it takes place in August.

It is necessary to confront this issue, to say that homosexuals are normal people like all of us and that we require them to be respected.

Marcouch, Slotervaart’s mayor since 2006 and a former spokesman for Amsterdam’s mosques, added:

For cultural or religious reasons, some people reject homosexuals and compare them to animals.  They don’t see homosexuals as humans. These people can be orthodox Christians, Muslims or immigrants. I always say: your freedom to be an orthodox Muslim is the same as that of a homosexual to be homosexual. Freedom is guaranteed in the constitution of the Netherlands.

On Marcouch’s initiative, the city council recently adopted an action plan for 2009 to 2011 that allows for the opening of a gay cultural centre. It will also permit gay associations to give briefings at schools and will take measures to teach mothers in immigrant households about gay rights in the Netherlands.

The mayor has also asked municipal police to be extra vigilant about homophobic aggression, and has even organised debates on the topic in mosques to press home his message.

More than 55 percent of the 45,000 inhabitants of Slotervaart are of immigrant origin and 22.4 percent are younger than 17 – two groups that Marcouch says are the least tolerant towards homosexuals. Gays themselves make up about 7.5 percent of the population of Amsterdam.

The Netherlands was the first country in the world to legalise homosexual marriage, in 2002.

But not everyone is as tolerant as Marcouch. Dennis Boutkan, a spokesman for homosexual lobby group COC, pointed out:

Some inhabitants are furious and are challenging Mr Marcouch vehemently.

Among them is imam Mohamed Adardour of the el-Oumma mosque, who insists gay people are “impure” and accuses the mayor of “constructing his political career” at the expense of Muslims.

The local Roman Catholic parish has also refused to work with the mayor, according to Marcouch who said the parish told him:

Homosexuality is contrary to the laws of nature.

But the the Mayor remains undaunted:

At least I have opened the issue for discussion.

Atef Salib, who owns an Arab-themed gay bar in the centre of Amsterdam, says he is encouraged by the mayor’s efforts and is looking for a spot in Slotervaart to open a dance bar.

It would be a great step forward.

This was the depressing reaction of Said, a Slotervaart teenager:

If a homo bar opens here, it will soon burn down.

MAD Muslim hate preacher Anjem Choudary has been filmed converting an  11-year-old boy to Islam in Birmingham’s city centre.

Sean gets the lowdown on Islam from Anjem Choudary while a creepy young rug-butter looks on

Described as “bewildered” in this report, the boy, who gives his name as Sean, was filmed repeating Arabic chants and swearing allegiance to the moon god Allah.

He is seen being prompted throughout by controversial cleric Anjem Choudary, a follower of exiled hate-preacher Omar Bakri Mohammed.

The incident was filmed during a demonstration by Choudary’s Ahlus Sunnah Wal Jama’ah group in Birmingham earlier this month.

Choudary, 42, was one of the masterminds behind the protests at the homecoming parade of heroic British soldiers in Luton earlier this year.

He praised protesters who branded British troops “murderers” and later appeared at a press conference flanked by thugs who took part in the demo.

Choudary defended the young boy’s “reversion” to Islam but admitted his parents were not with him and were not consulted.He said:

The child was genuinely interested in Islam.The boy told us he wanted to become a Muslim and, of course, some people are intellectually more mature than they are physically. I don’t see there is any harm in this.

He was with his friends, but I didn’t see if his parents were there.

A message on Choudary’s website offers advice for those who become Muslim at his Islamic Roadshow. It says:

Conversion packs are already provided to those who revert to Islam in the Islamic Roadshows. They include a booklet on ‘Everything a Muslim must know’ and a free DVD with a brief guide on how to pray in Islam.

Ahlus Sunnah Wal Jama’ah, is a splinter group of the controversial Al Muhajiroun sect.

Al-Muhajiroun, which has recruited hundreds of fanatics in the Midlands, fell apart in 2004 just months before Bakri was stopped from coming back to the UK under terror laws.

It has been revealed that the sect is planning to reform.

Bakri has now set his sights set on a return for the extremist group, though the Home Office is understood to be closely monitoring its activities.

A SERVICE celebrating the right to bear arms has taken place in the New Bethel Church in Louisville, Kentucky.

Pastor Ken Pagano

The event, attended by around 200 people who were invited to bring their unloaded weapons into the church, was organised by gun-toting Pastor Ken Pagano.

Pagano, according to this report, said the service was held in response to parishioners’ fears that the new Obama administration intended tightening gun control laws.

Pagano told his congregation:

We are wanting to send a message that there are legal, civil, intelligent and law-abiding citizens who also own guns. If it were not for a deep-seated belief in the right to bear arms, this country would not be here today.

Fears that among America’s gun owners that a new administration might restrict and regulate gun ownership took hold even before Obama’s victory.

Last November the BBC reported that Americans were:

Rushing to buy certain types of weapons in the dying weeks of the Bush years. Sales of military-style assault weapons (like the Russian-designed AK-47) which are considered the likeliest targets for future curbs have increased by 50 percent in some areas.

Among those who attended the service was camouflage-clad Kevin Terrell, a member of a militia group, the Ohio Valley Freedom Fighters, who told Time magazine that he feared that Bush’s expansion of presidential power had resulted in:

Absolute power being passed to a left-winger.

Doreen Rogers, another attendee, added:

I wish more churches did this … For some reason, most people think that carrying guns is sinful. It’s not. I think my life is worth protecting.

The service concluded with a raffle (the prizes: free National Rifle Association membership, gun range time and a pistol), a Lee Greenwood video of God Bless the USA, and an invitation to hang out for hot dogs, chips and bottled water.

But at the other side of Louisville, a coalition of religious groups and campaigners held a rival gun-free event at the same time.

Said organiser Terry Taylor:

The idea of wearing guns to churches or any sacred space I think many people find deeply troubling.

In the US, the right to bear arms is enshrined in the Second Amendment of the US Constitution. There are thought to be more than 200 million firearms in private hands.

According to the NRA:

In 2003 alone, 30,136 Americans died by gunfire: 16,907 in firearm suicides, 11,920 in firearm homicides, 730 in unintentional shootings, and 232 in firearm deaths of unknown intent, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. Nearly three times that number are treated in emergency rooms each year for nonfatal firearm injuries.

Hat Tip: Robert Stovold